These photos of 29-year-old Christina Ricci in a bikini in Miami with her new boyfriend are really amazing. I mean, with all that forehead, you’d think they’d have to print a “to be continued” on every last one of the pics, but they somehow managed to fit all of it inside the frame. That’s some serious quality photography right there. I bet it’d be like watching a goddamn drive-in movie if you could see inside her head when she dreamed.

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin

Here are some more pictures of Sienna Miller getting her bikini on with some tool named “Slinky Wizard” in Ibiza last Friday. Why three-day old pictures of some second-rate actress in an un-see-through bikini? Because it’s not Kelly fucking Osbourne or naked Macy Gray, that’s fucking why. Jesus Christ. You can be so damn ungrateful sometimes. I’m not a machine, you know! At least not I figure out how to install the micro-miniature version of the Blue Gene/L that I ordered off the internet into the base of my spinal cord. All the stupid instructions were written in Chinese.

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin