Britney’s latest video “Till the World Ends” is set on December 21, 2012, the day the ancient Mayan calendar comes to an end. It seems when the Apocalypse is nigh, we’ll all congregate in the sewers dressed as Mad Max and Morlocks from X-Men Legends and dance like we’re being repeatedly tased in the back while she slings her broke-ass weave around. In other words, it’ll be hell on earth. Now might be the time to think about salvation.
The video for Seal’s new single “Secret” from his latest album Seal 6: Commitment was released online today, which features 47-year old Seal in nothing but his $21,500 Parmigiani watch. On the plus side, his supermodel wife Heidi Klum is also naked in the three-minute video. The NY Daily News says:
In the steamy video, the naked couple [caress] one another while frolicking together in bed.
Klum [said] that she and her husband didn’t have to do much acting for the project.
“It’s the story of two people in love,” the 37-year-old model said. “My husband is what I always wanted and never thought I would have.”
The couple also revealed they kept nude photos of themselves in the family bathroom.
“They see their parents naked all the time,” Klum told Us Magazine of her children. “We are not ashamed.”
She might not be ashamed, but I sure as hell was. I haven’t felt that much abject discomfort after seeing something since I was forced to watch Michael Bolton’s jive on Dancing with the Stars. I couldn’t help but squirm all the way through it.
Screen grabs from the video here; watch Bolton shame-ify himself on DWTS after the jump:
51-year old Madonna paws at her crotch and thrusts her way through her new video “Celebration,” which also boasts the “talents” of boyfriend Jesus Luz and her preteen daughter Lourdes. The Daily Mail says
Luz, posing as a topless DJ, ends up kissing the mother-of-four before the scene cuts to a troupe of breakdancers – including Madonna’s 12-year-old daughter Lourdes.
If you can’t bear watching the video (I only could because somebody’s paying me to), there’s a “spoken word portion” in which Madge whispers to Luz
Haven’t I seen you somewhere before? You look familiar… You wanna dance? Yeah?
I guess I just don’t recognize you with your clothes on. What are you waiting for?
Yeah, what are you waiting for, Jesus? Her Geritol to kick in? High five!
Here is the official music video for Beyonce’s new song “Diva” off her I Am… Sasha Fierce1 album. Honest to God. It’s not an SNL digital short. This piece of shit is the real music video. Oh, and before I forget, Chris Gaines called. He wants his career-ending gimmick back.
1And what’s with name “Sasha Fierce,” anyway? Was the name “Max Power” already taken? It’s a name you would love to touch… but you mustn’t touch!
