Nicky Hilton Assaulted by Hobo, Makes Citizen’s Arrest

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Nicky Hilton made a citizen’s arrest over the weekend after being assaulted by a vagrant. Or as I like to call him, my own personal hero. According to TMZ

It happened at 5:00 AM outside the IHOP in West Hollywood. Law enforcement sources tell us a male transient pushed her to the ground. Nicky got up and promptly made a citizen’s arrest. Someone called the cops and the suspect was arrested. She was not injured.

Nicky herself held the assailant at bay while the cops came.

You’ve gotta be careful when making a citizen’s arrest. Like that time I went to the beach with a megaphone and a duffel bag full of plastic tarps and arrested anyone I saw that had no business wearing a bikini. Turns out being fat in a bathing suit isn’t actually illegal. And it also turns out that forcibly wrapping people in plastic qualifies as “assault.” You’d think you’d be covered under the Good Samaritan law, but no. There’s just no justice in this world anymore.

UPDATE: Check out the vagrant’s mug shot after the jump

At Fashion Week with her cum stain of a sister:

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Nicky Hilton Anorexic?

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After ballooning up a good twenty pounds last year, it looks like Nicky Hilton has hopped on the bulimia band wagon back to Boneysville. How else do you explain those shapely gams of hers? Rawr! Not to mention that you can use her knees to slim jim your car if you’ve locked your keys inside or aerate your lawn in the spring. EDITOR’S NOTE: This would also explain why “giant tool” is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the name “Nicky Hilton.”

Bone Fugs in Harmony last Thursday:

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