France’s centuries-old tradition of The Legion of Honors dates back to Napoleon, but it’s been deemed a joke after French President Nicolas Sarkozy knghted both Salma Hayek and her father-in-law by way of being very good personal friends with her tycoon husband. The Daily Mail says:

President Nicolas Sarkozy announced that she will become a Chevalier – or Knight – of the Legion of Honour for her services to the French Republic.

It is not yet clear what those services are.

Ms Hayek is currently promoting Puss in Boots, a film in which she provides the voice for a character called Kitty Softpaws.

[Former minister and member of Mr Sarkozy's ruling UMP party] Henri Torre turned down a Legion of Honour, saying: ‘Too many people were nominated who do not deserve to me honored’, adding that the awards had ‘lost their value’.

Please. Those awards didn’t lose their value because they they were given to a second-rate Mexican actress who happened to marry up. Those awards lost their value because they’re fucking French. It’d be like if they gave out Purple Hearts every time you ran off a battlefield clutching both asscheeks and crying. Totally worthless.

Salma Hayek and her husband at “FRIMOUSSES DES CREATEURS” doll sale for Unicef last month:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

This past weekend saw French president Nicolas Sarkozy and wife Carla Bruni swimming and sneering disdainfully at tourists. Or as the French like to call it, “a biathlon.” C’est si bon!

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer Griffin

Hundreds of ‘highly intimate’ images of French First Lady Carla Bruni and an ex-lover were stolen over the weekend while she and President Nicolas Sarkozy were on an official trip to Spain. Vivre le vagin! According to Daily Mail

On Sunday night thieves broke into the flat of actor Julien Enthoven, who is [Carla's former lover] Raphael Enthoven’s younger brother. Raphael entrusted the pictures to his brother because he did not want them to embarrass his new partner or Mr. Sarkozy, said a detective working on the case.

‘The thieves appeared to know exactly what they were looking for – taking highly intimate prints, a camera full of further images, videos, and numerous computer files,’ said the source. ‘Nothing else was taken.’

Police now fear that thieves could take advantage of Miss Bruni’s status as an international sex symbol by selling the pictures for hundreds of thousands of pounds, [or] they could be posted on the web so as to cause maximum embarrassment to Mr. Sarkozy.

Now, I might have never been north of the Mason-Dixon line, but I did live in Mexico under the name “Conchita Juanita Frijole” for six months while an unfortunate incident with the Dade County Sheriff’s Department was ironed out, so if there’s one thing I know, it’s many nuances of international culture. And I, for one, don’t see what the big screamin’ deal here is. I’ve actually read that in France, this whole “naked thing” is practically de riguer. There’s even a place where all the naked French ladies go to dance. Apparently it’s right by a hole in the wall where the men can see it all. Too bad the whole world isn’t as well-versed in multiculturalism as I am.

Since those picts haven’t made their way on line yet, some oldy-but-goody NSFW nudes of Ms. Bruni: