Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge — known to the rest of us as Kate Middleton — wrapped up their tour of the U.S. with an appearance at the BAFTA “Brits to Watch” gala in L.A. Saturday night. While I personally could give a tinker’s toot* about the royal couple or her Alexander McQueen dress, I felt Jennifer Lopez‘ ensemble was worth mentioning. Seriously, what the hell? Her first time ever meeting a real-life prince and princess, and she dressed up like an out-of-work Balinese Cirque du Soleil performer. The only time you should ever see exposed midriff on the red carpet is at the AVN awards. Fashion FAIL.
*British for “rat’s ass”
Will and Kate, Jennifer Lopez and Nicole Kidman here; Blake Lively and Jennifer Garner after the jump:
There wouldn’t be winners if there weren’t losers too, and that’s why we here at Yeeeah! like to highlight the worst dressed at the Oscars. It’s our responsibility to keep the balance of good and bad, dark and light; to sustain the yin-yang balance of fashion, so to speak. We also happen to be bitter harpies and enjoy a good laugh at other people’s expense, too. It’s tough job, but someone’s got to do it.
Without further ado, here’s my picks for worst dressed, plus those unfortunates whose fashion choices weren’t interesting enough to elicit more than a “meh” from me.
When the first thing I think of is “tarred and feathered”, it’s not a good thing. Virginia Madsen:
24-year old (!) Florence Welch of Florence + The Machine models the latest in the 1865 Winter-Spring edition of Pioneer Woman.
We almost made it three weeks without a self-congratulatory celebrity ass-kissing ceremony. Almost.People Magazine says:
The Screen Actors Guild Awards [were] Sunday night L.A.’s Shrine Auditorium, a reliable prognosticator of the Feb. 27 Oscars.
Black Swan’s Natalie Portman and The King’s Speech’s Colin Firth, along with The Fighter’s Melissa Leo and Christian Bale [were the big winners of the night].
In TV honors, leading comedy actress [went to] Hot in Cleveland’s Betty White. 30 Rock’s Alec Baldwin won his fifth SAG Award as that show’s leading actor in a comedy.
Modern Family took the best comedy ensemble cast award, while newcomer Boardwalk Empire won double honors, for leading actor in a dramatic series, Steve Buscemi, and for its ensemble cast.
Thank God for Sofia Vergara, or the night would have been a total loss. Everyone else might as well have been dressed as Jay Cutler.
For a complete list of winners and nominees, click here.
Sofia, Lea Michele and Christina Hendricks here; January Jones, Natalie Portman, Nicole Kidman and Winona Ryder after the jump.
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban announced yesterday that they are the proud new parents of a baby girl born via surrogate. Doctors reportedly felt defrosting Nicole’s womb a second time would pose too many health risks to the fetus. The Daily Mails says;
The couple have named their daughter, who was born three weeks ago, Faith Margaret Kidman Urban.
The child was born through a gestational carrier at Nashville’s Centennial Women’s Hospital on December 28 and is Urban and Kidman’s biological daughter.
The parents said in a statement today: ‘Our family is truly blessed, and just so thankful, to have been given the gift of baby Faith Margaret. No words can adequately convey the incredible gratitude that we feel for everyone who was so supportive throughout this process, in particular our gestational carrier.’
Pregnancy isn’t for everybody. Neither is conventional intercourse. Remember, before Keith she was married to Tom Cruise. Her lady parts have gone so long without seeing any penis action that they probably creak and whistle when she walks.
More of Nicole and Keith feigning affection at the Golden Globes Sunday (more after the jump):
The 68th Annual Golden Globes were last night, and everyone’s all up in arms this morning because host Ricky Gervais dared to make fun of some of Hollywood’s elite instead of pandering with mealy-mouthed jokes and scripted ass-kissing. God forbid anybody there be forced to unclench their asscheeks and laugh at themselves. The Daily Mail says:
Ricky Gervais bit the hand that feeds once more as the Golden Globes host tore into celebrity targets at the annual awards do.
One of those was the Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor film I Love You, Phillip Morris, featuring, as he put it, ‘two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay. Sort of the complete opposite of some famous Scientologists then.’
He then made a jibe at the expense of nominated film The Tourist, starring Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp.
‘I feel bad about that joke,’ he said after his first dig. ‘I’m jumping on the bandwagon, because I haven’t even seen The Tourist. Who has?’
Gervais also took a dig at the stars of Sex & the City 2 stars: ‘I was sure the Golden Globe for special effects would go to the team that airbrushed [the Sex and the City 2] poster. Girls, we know how old you are. I saw one of you in an episode of Bonanza.’
Gervais [later introduced Robert Downey, Jr.] on to the stage with a list of the his many film credits, but then he said: ‘But many of you in this room probably know him best from such facilities as the Betty Ford Clinic and Los Angeles County Jail.’
I suppose everyone would have been happier if he had broadcast from the Beverly Hills Hilton bathroom, stopping at every toilet Vanna White-style, oohing and ahhing over how much celebrity shit doesn’t stink. It just goes to show that the best forum for insulting celebrities probably isn’t at the awards show they throw themselves. That’s the main reason* I do it from the behind the safety of a computer.
*For legal reasons, my lawyers insisted I also mention the whole “restraining order” thing.
Complete list of winners and nominees, click here.
Let your hands fly to your mouth in shock, clutch your pearls! Nicole Kidmanhas used Botox! DUN-DUN-DUUUUUN! Digital Spy reports the shocking news:
Nicole Kidman has revealed for the first time that she has previously used Botox.
The Rabbit Hole actress has drawn criticism in the past for over-using the anti-wrinkle treatment, although she has always denied having Botox injections.
Kidman, who made the admission to a German magazine, insisted that she no longer uses the controversial remedy because she was not pleased with its results, reports the Daily Mail.
When asked about how she keeps her wrinkles at bay, Kidman said: “I’ve tried a lot of things but apart from working out and a good diet most things don’t help.
“I even tried Botox but I didn’t like how my face looked afterwards. Now I don’t use it anymore, and I can move my forehead again! I am completely natural. I have nothing in my face or anything.”
Well, even if she said the EXACT same thing before when asked if she used Botox (liar!), you do have to admit she actually looks really pretty now and not the frozen slug-lipped freak she used to be. I wonder what changed her mind finally? Maybe Keith Urban was freaked out to sleep with her. You probably couldn’t tell if she was enjoying it or not. “This IS my “O” face!”
A redhead again (yay), talking with Aaron Eckhart about The Rabbit Hole in NY:
You might not remember this, but at one time, Tom Cruise was considered movie-making gold. Everything he touched made millions at the box office. People liked him. He was Maverick, he was Jerry Macguire.
Then Scientology happened, and he managed to completely alienate everyone around him by going public with his fanatical devotion to the teachings of L. Ron Hubbard. And just like that, he became a joke. But not just a punchline to you and me — it seems he’s also the butt of the joke among Scientology cognoscenti (try saying that three times fast). Apparently Tommy Boy was secretly videotaped during confessional sessions, and according to a former high-level member, those tapes were used to mock him at cocktail parties when he wasn’t around. TMZ says
Mark Rathbun says he recorded Cruise during the confessional sessions and Scientology guru David Miscavige read the transcripts at parties, “joking and laughing” at them.
Rathbun says the video was “well-concealed” in the VIP auditing room, [and that] Miscavige ordered him to prepare transcripts of the sessions. Then Miscavige would hold late night whiskey parties, reading the transcripts and laughing out loud.
The nature of Tom’s alleged confessions were not disclosed.
Jesus might cast you into a lake of fire and brimstone for all eternity, but he would never laugh at you behind your back. It’s not his style. That’s why I go with Christ-CenteredTM brand salvation. Twice the taste, with none of the unwanted calories and caffeine of alien overlords blowing up volcanoes in DC-10s. 2.1 billion Christians can’t be wrong!
Ex-wife Nicole Kidman in a bikini on the set of Adam Sandler’s crappy new movie:
The 2010 Country Music Awards were last night, and I’m not even gonna pretend like I watched them or even knew they were on in the first place, because I think we’re at a point in our relationship where we don’t have to put on airs for each other anymore. Not that it wouldn’t kill you to close the bathroom door once in a fucking while, but that’s a conversation for another day. I just don’t have the energy to get into that this morning.
Anyway, Carrie Underwood became the first woman to win country music Entertainer of the Year two years in a row last night blah blah blah yee-haw. MSNBC says
Underwood won the show’s top honor last year. This year, she beat out Taylor Swift, Kenny Chesney, the Zac Brown Band, Toby Keith, Brad Paisley, George Strait and Keith Urban.
Top-selling trio Lady Antebellum were the dominant winners, grabbing five trophies, including song and single record of the year for crossover hit “Need You Now,” while also snapping Rascal Flatts’ seven-year run as best vocal group.
I bet you never noticed, but the letters in “Lady Antebellum” can be rearranged to spell “dumb anal telly” and “yell lube and ATM.” I don’t know what kind of foul butthole fetishes these so-called “country singers” are covertly promoting, but I, for one, will not stand for it. Mostly because then my anus would be exposed, and I can’t take that kind of chance again. Not after what happened at the Grammys.
Lots more pics from the red carpet after the jump.
Hi guys, it’s Sonya today. Did you know that nipples can stick to ice? It’s true. Just ask Abby when she gets back.
So, the Grammys happened last night, and like the dedicated blogger that I am, I didn’t watch them. I don’t really care who gets what, because it’s all a bunch of crap anyway. They never mention my favorite group, Captain Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters, so I don’t bother. I am interested in what everyone wore, so here we go:
Taylor Swift’s dress fits kind of weird, I think.
Rihanna chose to let her dress do the choking
During a lapse in security, crazy lady Phoebe Price slipped in, as did super-classy Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi
Pink didn’t need to sneak in, she just snarled at security
The 2010 Golden Globe Awards were last night. We could kill some time talking about them, but nobody really cares about the actual awards. Let’s just cut to the chase and take a look at what all the ladies were wearing, shall we?
It was a big night for Michael Jackson and Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards, even though neither of them were there to accept them. People magazine says
Swift won five American Music Awards, including Favorite Artist of the Year – all while she was in London.
A stunned Swift gave her acceptance speech via satellite, paying homage to the night’s other big winner, Michael Jackson.
Jackson won four trophies: Favorite Soul/R&B Artist, Favorite Pop/Rock Male Vocalist and Favorite Pop/Rock Album and Favorite Soul/R&B Album.
Good for Michael Jackson. Everything he’s put out in the last twenty years sucked donkey, but let’s just put aside the whole “weirdo recluse pedophile drug addict who hasn’t cranked out a real hit since 1987″ because he’s dead. Jesus Christ. I’m surprised they didn’t find a way to give Roman Polanski and award while they were at it. But anyway, I digress. The only reason we watch these shows (other than for the falling down) — the dresses! So let’s get to it. (Lots more of Selena Gomez, Fergie, Alicia Keys and Rihanna after the jump)
Shakira in a Versace dress made entirely of recycled milk jugs:
Carrie Underwood in a one-shoulder gold lamé Theia frock and Adam Lambert’s belt:
Nicole Kidman as Meg Ryan in a shower curtain in Balenciaga:
Kristen Bell in I Dream of Jeanie by Christian Cota:
Nicole Kidman dishes about sex and marriage in a more-than-you-ever-wanted-to-know interview in next month’s GQ magazine. The Daily Mail quotes her as saying:
‘I’ve explored obsession. I’ve explored loss and love in terms of being in a grief-stricken place, I’ve explored strange sexual fetish stuff, I’ve explored the mundane aspect of marriage, and monogamy,’ she said.
But she described her present marriage as ‘raw’ and ‘dangerous’.
‘You work on it,’ she said. ‘It’s a very extraordinary, adventurous place to be: incredibly raw, incredibly dangerous.’
“Raw” and “dangerous?” I’m sorry — isn’t she married to Keith Urban? The only thing “raw” about that guy is maybe his ass cheeks because his leather pants were so tight they chafed. He’s about as dangerous as a retard wielding a pair of safety scissors and a giant foam finger.
Looking like a wax statue at the Omega store on Fifth Avenue last month:
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