I’m sure there’s other important news going on in the world of celebrity gossip, but it’s my sworn duty to you, faithful readers, that nipple slips take first priority. “Pass Over No Nipples”, that’s my motto. It’s like the Hippocratic Oath, only better.

Frolicking in the Caribbean waves (thumbnails 1, 2 & 3 NSFW):

Here’s Amy Winehouse with her bolt-ons and a new boyfriend Reg Traviss. He’s definitely a step up from greasy, pasty Pete Doherty, although to be fair, a 3-days-dead corpse would be a step up from Doherty. Amy looks like she smells like pee, Aquanet, cigarettes and dirty feet,  so I don’t know what kind of masochistic trip Reg is on. Kind of like self-flagellation, only a lot less fun, and with more STDs.

At the opening of a new restuarant:

If you ever wanted to know what wanna-be bumblegum pop-faux-punk-princess douche nipple looks like, this is your lucky day. Basically, it looks like any other nipple, so you don’t have to feel too bad about checking it out. Too bad, I said. You still should feel a little dirty and ashamed of yourself.

Avril Lavigne cavorting with friends in a douchey cap and one more bonus nip shot NSFW:

I had to look up if Jade Jagger is Mick Jagger’s daughter (she is) and from what I can tell, she’s a jewelry designer, socialite (aka attention whore?) and former model. All of which doesn’t explain why she’s hawking a new plane, but there’s a nipple slip, so there you go. Now everyone can inform me of who she is, but I still don’t care. I’m good with sticking with “Jade Jagger, Slipper of Nipple.”

At the launch of the new Vueling planes in Madrid:

Here’s Jennifer Lopez slipping a little (or a lot) of areola. For some reason she’s also doused head to toe in glitter. I’d hate to be next to her. It’d be like opening one of those damned greeting cards that have all that stupid glitter highlighting some piicture of an insipid little bear in a flowery dress or some shit like that–you open it, get sparkles all over your hands, then spend the rest of the day having people tell you there’s glitter on your face. Way to go, Jennifer.