Laeticia Casta is topless in a photoshoot by Dominique Issermann, but before you say anything about the pictures being crappy quality, consider this: I heard the same complaint from someone else, and he was fist deep into some burly dude’s ass. Don’t you even think about complaining.

2011′s Playmate of the Year Claire Sinclair claims the above bruises were inflicted by Hugh Hefner’s son Marston after a “violent rampage” over the weekend. TMZ says:

21-year-old Marston Hefner was arrested Sunday night after allegedly kicking and punching Sinclair during an argument in their Pasadena, CA apartment.

Now, 20-year-old Sinclair [claims] the Playboy heir has physically abused her on SEVERAL OCCASIONS … but she’s still willing to forgive the guy, [saying], “I will not press charges against Marston Hefner if he keeps his word to give a public apology for physically abusing me on several occasions, and seeks psychiatric help for his anger issues.”

Just to be thorough, I thought it best that we revisit these nude pics of Claire Sinclair for any signs of domestic abuse that the cops might have missed. I didn’t get my Junior Detective’s badge by not asking questions. It was my proactive approach and can-do attitude.

Victoria’s Secret model and “Transformers 3″ star Rosie Huntington-Whiteley graces one of three covers of next month’s issue of Vs magazine — the other two covers belong to actress Julianne Moore and supermodel Helena Christensen. I suppose the choice of three different women on the covers is their way of putting in a real-life versus in the magazine Vs. So, anyway, which did I choose? Well, after dialoguing with my co-workers and much consideration and deliberation, I ultimately went with Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. She was showing her nipple, and the other ladies weren’t. If you aren’t going to bring your A-game, you might as well not even step up to the plate.

Photographer Kate Orne clearly knows that subtlety is for pussies. Just like condoms and seatbelts.

Thumbs 1-7 from the Kate Orne photoshoot; thumbs 8-15 from New Look Lingerie photoshoot:

Evan Rachel Wood likes to think she’s pushing the envelope with her new androgynyous haircut and her tiny androgynous breasts, but I find her entire Flaunt shoot completely trite and cliched. It’s the sorta crap a first-year art student who’s just come out of the closet in the big city would post in his online gallery under the title “Duality of Being: the Dénouement.”

90210 “actress” AnnaLynne McCord “accidentally” posted a topless picture of herself on Twitter yesterday. And then she “accidentally” alerted her followers about it before she finally took it down. The Daily Mail says:

24-year-old [McCord] sent the snap to female fan Megan Lujan after plenty of previous exchanges but also alerted the rest of her Twitter followers to it last week.

She wrote alongside it: ‘This is for you @meganraee You rock! Xxx A.’

But when fans noticed her nipple was visible in the image McCord pulled the original post down and replaced it with a cropped version.

Who among us hasn’t accidentally taken a picture of themselves topless? It’s a lot more common than you think. You’re sitting there, minding your own business, when all of the sudden, whoops! — your cell phone’s out and your bra’s off. And now — uh-oh! — you’re uploading it to your favorite social networking site. If I had a nickel for every time one of my aereolas inadvertently wound up on the interwebs, you can bet I’d be like a seven-thousandaire by now.

AnnaLynne McCord and Sara Foster filming in Beverly Hills:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

This is supposedly a pic of Miley Cyrus topless as she changed in the VIP area of some club in Spain back in May — presumably from the same set of leaked cell phone pics that came out soon after her iPhone was hacked — but somehow it’s just now hitting the interwebs, either because it’s a fake, or because TrainReq decided to play that ace he’d had up his sleeve this whole time. Either way you slice it, you still end up with free boobs. It’s your classic win-win scenario.

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

It’s nice to know that the Christmas spirit is still alive and well these days. That means different things to different people. It might mean anonymously paying off someone’s Christmas layaway. If you’re “English glamour model” Rhian Sugden, that means letting lesbian hobbit look-alike artist Fanny Gogh paint holly berries on your nipples and let some random firemen in on the action. Personally, I think her idea is better. Give a child a toy, and he’ll remember it for a couple of weeks. Take him to go paint some bimbo’s tits, and he’ll remember it for a lifetime. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

Amber Heard’s lesbian lover is some fancy photographer, so she took a bunch of artsy black-and-whites of Amber, and she’s topless in a few of them. Okay… she’s topless in one of them. Look, it’s better than eight lords-a-leaping. Keep it up, and next time it’s that and fruitcake.

Photos by Tasya van Ree:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

The 2012 Pirelli Calendar calendar — easily the most pretentious of all your gratuitous-titties-masquerading-as-art calendars — is set for release at the end of this year, and a preview of this year’s famous racks include those of Kate Moss, Lara Stone, Mila Jovovich and Isabeli Fontana. I’ve never wanted to seize the day with both hands before. And then motorboat the day like there was no tomorrow.

Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr is completely naked in these two black and white pics from INDUSTRIE Magazine #4, but you can only see her nipple in one of them. And even then, the rest of her lower half looks like a weird assemblage of limbs and cadaver parts, like what you might see if you looked down into an open mass grave outside a concentration camp. And frankly, those kinda thoughts make it take twice as long to masturbate, and I just don’t have that kinda time. I have anime battles to re-enact. Bring me my dueling swords and my furry tail!

While we’re on the subject of Sports Illustrated swimsuit models, you should know that Miss September Cintia Dicker also has a spread in GQ Brasil this month. Only her GQ spread is way better because you can see her nipples in one of the pics. Check and mate, Sports Illustrated!