There’s an article about some fashion photographer in next month’s Marie Claire Australia that included the above shot she took of Heidi Klum in the buff, but I forget the chick’s name and I didn’t actually bother to read any of the article because, as I mentioned, Heidi Klum was naked. Words just get in the way. It’s probably why you’re clicking on the thumbnails for nipslips instead of reading any of the words I’ve written right now.

Hey, you know that Heather Morris? If you said yes previous to today, I would’ve called you gay for knowing who she is (she’s from “Glee”). But after today you can hide your shameful choice of television viewership, because some nude photos were apparently “hacked” from her phone. And by “hacked”, I of course mean, “strategically released photos to garner interest in her person”. Whatever the motivation, it still results in nudity, so I can’t really make a fuss.

Demi did it, Britney did it, and Christina did it — now it’s Jessica Simpson’s turn to show off her naked pregnant body on the cover of next month’s Elle magazine, in which she reveals she and fiance Eric Johnson are having a little girl. Jessica’s father Joe Simpson was later quoted as saying, “I just hope she gets her momma’s double D’s! You can’t cover those suckers up!”

Although I spend my weekends lost in a bottle of rum and playing video games, it’s nice to know there’s always people trolling the internet for boobies like busy little bees, as known as, “My personal heroes”. This weekend was obviously a very productive weekend, since we’ve already seen Olivia Munn nekkid (hey, I don’t like her, but boobs are boobs), and now, Christina Hendricks. Daily Mail reports,

Christina Hendricks has denied that a picture of her topless, which is currently circulating the internet, is of her.

The 36-year-old’s representation have told website TMZ that images of the actress wearing barely any clothes and gazing into the camera are of her, but a snap of her pulling down her top to reveal her bare breasts is not.

They also confirm to the website that Hendricks is in fact the victim of phone-hacking.

The TV star is said to not know who hacked her phone, but her people have alerted authorities and a case has been opened.

The statement comes after a hacker claiming to have broken into the Mad Men star’s cell phone leaked pictures across the internet today that showed the actress in a series of compromising poses.

One photo showed Christina wearing lingerie and gazing into the camera.

Another shows the make-up free redhead wearing a pair of glasses and long sleeved tan shirt.

The hacker also posted pictures purported to show the actress pulling down her top to reveal her bare breasts, which Hendricks and her people have said is the ‘phony’ picture.

Are the pictures real? Are they fake? This, my friends, will require further exploration. In my pants!

A nude photo purportedly of Olivia Munn hit the internet yesterday, along with several others in various states of undress, some with, ahem, descriptive words on them. Of course, even celebritwats like Olivia Munn know by now, never to show your face in a nude photo for cases just like this. TMZ reports,

The full-frontal nude photo circulating around the Internet today purporting to be Olivia Munn is a phony — this according to sources extremely close to Olivia Munn.

Several pics hit the web today — appearing to show Olivia in various states of undress … pink lingerie, a black bra, a white bra, a pink bikini, a low-cut v-neck … and then fully nude.

Sources tell TMZ, several of the shots are legit — namely the black bra, the bikini, the v-neck … all of which Olivia has previously posted on her blog or Twitter. But according to sources, the ones where you can’t see her face are 100% fake … including the nude shot.

We’re told someone with a similar body to Olivia is taking provocative photos and trying to pass them off as the real thing — why … we have no idea.

So far, no official word from Olivia’s camp.

To which, Olivia responded via her Twitter:

Mm, I don’t think so. I think we’d find picture after picture of herself on her phone. I think they only thing she’s really interested beside herself is convincing everyone else that she’s the hottest thing out there.

The confirmed real pictures, then those *other* ones:

Izabel Goulart is a Victoria’s Secret/Sports Illustrated model with a body that could move a man to tears, but the good folks at Muse decided the perfect backdrop for all that nekkid splendor was a dirty public restroom. I guess the juxtaposition of the two is supposed to be provocative somehow, in the same way that poking a diamond into a turd might be considered provocative. Is it a metaphor for the ugliness of consumerism? Does it represent the dirty reality of a society mired in youth-obsession and vanity? Or is it just a really crappy attempt to shock you into thinking it’s somehow art? I don’t really know. Maybe we should ask Izabel Goulart’s tits. They seem to know what’s up.

Laeticia Casta is topless in a photoshoot by Dominique Issermann, but before you say anything about the pictures being crappy quality, consider this: I heard the same complaint from someone else, and he was fist deep into some burly dude’s ass. Don’t you even think about complaining.

2011′s Playmate of the Year Claire Sinclair claims the above bruises were inflicted by Hugh Hefner’s son Marston after a “violent rampage” over the weekend. TMZ says:

21-year-old Marston Hefner was arrested Sunday night after allegedly kicking and punching Sinclair during an argument in their Pasadena, CA apartment.

Now, 20-year-old Sinclair [claims] the Playboy heir has physically abused her on SEVERAL OCCASIONS … but she’s still willing to forgive the guy, [saying], “I will not press charges against Marston Hefner if he keeps his word to give a public apology for physically abusing me on several occasions, and seeks psychiatric help for his anger issues.”

Just to be thorough, I thought it best that we revisit these nude pics of Claire Sinclair for any signs of domestic abuse that the cops might have missed. I didn’t get my Junior Detective’s badge by not asking questions. It was my proactive approach and can-do attitude.

Coco has since removed this photo of her lying naked next to her baby nephew from her Twitter page, because for some reason, people found it “objectionable.” And I bet the social worker that’s coming to visit will be even more uncool about it. You know how those guys freak out every time they see visible genitalia.

This is supposedly a pic of Miley Cyrus topless as she changed in the VIP area of some club in Spain back in May — presumably from the same set of leaked cell phone pics that came out soon after her iPhone was hacked — but somehow it’s just now hitting the interwebs, either because it’s a fake, or because TrainReq decided to play that ace he’d had up his sleeve this whole time. Either way you slice it, you still end up with free boobs. It’s your classic win-win scenario.

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

The 2012 Pirelli Calendar calendar — easily the most pretentious of all your gratuitous-titties-masquerading-as-art calendars — is set for release at the end of this year, and a preview of this year’s famous racks include those of Kate Moss, Lara Stone, Mila Jovovich and Isabeli Fontana. I’ve never wanted to seize the day with both hands before. And then motorboat the day like there was no tomorrow.

Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr is completely naked in these two black and white pics from INDUSTRIE Magazine #4, but you can only see her nipple in one of them. And even then, the rest of her lower half looks like a weird assemblage of limbs and cadaver parts, like what you might see if you looked down into an open mass grave outside a concentration camp. And frankly, those kinda thoughts make it take twice as long to masturbate, and I just don’t have that kinda time. I have anime battles to re-enact. Bring me my dueling swords and my furry tail!