Back in April, there were reports that Heidi Montag was in negotiations to pose nude for Playboy.  It appears that for once in her worthless life, one of the publicity-mongering rumours she started was actually true.  From People:

Heidi Montag has gotten a lot of exposure lately – but the newlywed is about to get even more: She has posed for the September issue of Playboy, PEOPLE has confirmed.

The reality star was most recently stirring up drama on I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here, shot in Costa Rica, where she was briefly hospitalized. In April, she married her Hills costar Spencer Pratt.

Details of her Playboy photos are, um, scant: “There is nudity. It’s tasteful – she had a lot of fun with it,” says a second source. A rep for the magazine had no comment, and Montag’s rep was not immediately available to respond to questions.

Whatever.  Listen, I know Heidi Montag is gross and plastic and has a really weird chin and looks like she’s mid-seizure every time she makes a “sexy” face, but this could be sooooo much worse.  I mean, whoring for money is the only marketable skill Speidi actually has, and just think — it could be Spencer’s creepy platinum nethers going on display.  Heidi doesn’t seem so bad, all of a sudden, huh?  Maybe that’s the magic of their relationship… Heidi stays with Spencer because he makes her seem almost tolerable in comparison.

Heidi Montag writhing around on the beach in her “Blackout” video:

On her fake honeymoon after her pretend wedding in Mexico:

Someone sounds desperate for some work. Hippie child Mischa Barton let it be known that she doesn’t have a problem with nudity, as long as it’s artistic and it’s not nudity for the sake of nudity but it adds something to the story blah blah blah…Digital Spy reports,

The 23-year-old former OC star told Bang Media: “It all comes down to whether I trust the director or not.”

Barton, who has previously appeared nude in The Oh In Ohio and Closing The Ring, earlier revealed that her parents remain “confused and cautious” about her career.

Meanwhile, it was recently reported that Barton is being considered for a role in The CW’s Melrose Place remake.

Getting naked for a movie seems to be the solution for distracting people from the fact that you can’t act. See! Look! Booooobies! You don’t notice that I have the personality of a zip code in Ohio! I’m not sure who exactly would want to see her skinny, soggy behind, anyways. Perhaps cottage cheese fetishists? You people make me sick.

Jessica Simpson wants to earn your respect the old-fashioned way — by getting totally naked on the big screen. Remember how well it worked for Elizabeth Berkley? Female First says:

“Jessica is in the running for a role that, if she gets it, will put her right on the map in terms of acting. The only hitch is that the script requires a number of quite graphic scenes including a full-frontal nude scene. Jessica is so desperate to land the role and get the industry’s respect that she’s ready to go against her better judgement, and her family, by agreeing to bare all.”

Jessica’s… most recent film ‘Blonde Ambition’ [failed] to gain a cinema release and [is] being branded a “disaster”.

I find there’s no better way to earn the respect of your peers than showing your tits. It’s fool-proof. So I can’t parallel park. Look! Tits! So I never actually finished college. Boobs! Get your boobs here! And maybe I had a Vulcan Koon-ut-kal-if-fee Marr ceremony instead of an actual wedding and maybe I moonlight as third level Dwarf Paladin and I might have once spent 36 consecutive hours suspended by my underwear inside a middle school locker, but BOOBS! See, it’s a lock! The only way you could possibly respect me any more right now is if I ran a Sicilian mob or had a top hat and a British accent.

Jessica not totally naked and therefore NOT garnering my respect this weekend: