Paraguayan Olympic javelin thrower and model Leryn Franco paraded down the catwalk at some fashion show this week with her right tit hanging out, which I’m sure you’ll agree is the only way Olympic athletes/models should ever parade down a catwalk. Also acceptable: left tit out; both tits out; visible bush; partially nude; totally nude; totally nude and doing front handsprings; and totally nude and wearing the carcass of Paris Hilton like a hat. Leryn Franco should really explore all her options.
Human dolphin Michael Phelps might have more gold medals than God and the adoration of the entire nation, but he’s not good enough for former women’s breaststroke champion Amanda Beard. She went on “Johnjay and Rich in the Morning” yesterday to let the public know just how physically repulsive she found our golden boy. According to MSNBC
“C’mon, I have really good taste,” she told the radio hosts. “He’s not really my type, personally.” Laughing, she added, “I go for a little bit different-looking guys.” When asked if she ever kissed Michael, Amanda answered, “Ew, no!” Held hands? “Ew, no! Not even that.” Even the mere suggestion that Michael might be attracted to her inspired an “ew-that’s-so-nasty” response.
Amanda Beard has won a whopping seven medals in her lifetime, only two of which were gold, and she didn’t even qualify for the semifinals in Beijing. Michael Phelps, on the other hand, won eight gold medals in Beijing for a grand total of 16 career medals — 14 gold and 2 bronze. Michael Phelps was awarded the World Swimmer of the Year Award in 2003, 2004, 2006, and 2007 and American Swimmer of the Year Award in 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2006, and 2007. Amanda Beard looks like the cadaver of some kind of Romulan-horse hybrid. Look, I’m not saying she is a communist, and I’m not saying she isn’t a communist. I’m just saying that she loves desecrating the American flag naked. Advantage always: Michael Phelps.
In honor of the U.S. Women’s Swim Team and the Olympics, Playboy models are donning each of the U.S. Team’s official suits from the past six Games on Playboy’s website. (Nine-time Olympic medalist Dara Torres in this year’s suit on the right; Playboy’s Cyber Girl of the Month in the same suit on the left). Because nothing says “homage” like a bunch of fake-tittied no-names in body makeup wearing the same suit you trained six hours a day, seven days a year for ten years to wear. Look forward to Playboy’s “Bad Habit: a Tribute to the Many Looks of Mother Teresa” and “Supreme Whore — Beneath the Robes of the Women of the Supreme Court” to debut sometime this fall. PlayboyTM — because sometimes women get too big for their britches.
