Paris Hilton is all over the news today for helping an injured midget dressed as an Oompa-Loompa to safety at a South Beach party Saturday night. Wow, Miami! Caligula much? Gatecrasher reports

According to our witness, the unruly crowd shoved performer Robin Sherwood - in full costume and orange makeup - into a metal stage support that sliced open his leg. But only Hilton seemed to notice that Sherwood was in real trouble. “Paris screamed for help and jumped up to move everyone away from him,” says our witness. “She held Robin’s hand and said the sweetest things to keep him calm. She stayed with him until he was safely in the ambulance on his way to the hospital.” Sherwood needed 50 stitches and is recovering at the Versace mansion in South Beach.

Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do
I have another puzzle for you
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-da-dee
If you are wise, you’ll listen to me

What do you do when a slut pulls down her pants
And exposes the boils that the doctor had to lance
Flops out her tits and bends over quick
Hoping to poison your gullible dick

You must not take the bait here

Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da
If you’re not lewd, then you will go far
You will avoid the STD’s, too
Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do

Paris leaving the Versace Mansion on Sunday: