Here’s Jessica Simpson at the “Operation Smile” gala in New York, sporting her “Bob Mackie 1988 Collector Barbie” dress. When asked what he thought of her dress, pervy pop Joe Simpson made this face and said she should release her bosom, because they looked like “two pigs fightin’ under a blanket”.

Jessica Simpson reminisces about the trip she took to Kenya in 2005 promoting Operation Smile (a non-profit organization that provides corrective surgery for children born with cleft palates in third world countries) in this month’s issue of Dear Doctor Dentistry & Oral Health. She tells the magazine:

“My experience in Kenya with Operation Smile was incredible. To witness the truly miraculous transformations in the lives of so many desperate needy children was both powerful and personally rewarding.”

Well, I’m not sure which trip she’s talking about, exactly, because that certainly wasn’t the one she took in 2005. The trip she took went something like this:

[Jessica] went on a wildlife tour at one point instead of visiting the hospitals she’d committed to seeing. The press was so, so bad. She [even] backed out of PSAs that were supposed to run afterwards.

There’s nothing like going around reminding everyone of your past failures to bolster the ol’ public image. I’m pretty sure that’s why my parents were always telling me what a huge mistake I was growing up. It was their way of preparing me for a lifetime of success and good fortune. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

Signing autographs at the CMA Music Festival this past weekend: