It’s been a big week for explicit Hollywood photos, and Thursday, March 20th is no exception. Today’s amateur celebrity porn star: Lindsay Lohan. This one’s been a long time coming. The photo above is grainy and difficult to make out and comes from a less-than-reliable source, but to the best of my knowledge it’s her sometime last year, fellating ex-boyfriend Calum Best while he tapes it with his cell phone. Now, to be fair, almost any girl with a dick in her mouth could be mistaken for Lindsay Lohan. You could have a police lineup with Lindsay in it, and even you probably wouldn’t recognize her at first without some dude’s johnson in her yapper. It’d have to go something like this: “Yeah, I’m not seeing her right off, officer. Sorry. Well, you know, on second thought, if you don’t mind, maybe you could have the lineup go down on their knees or something? Just for a minute, so I could… yeah, that’s much better. Let’s see… well, you know, maybe you could take turns putting a penis in each of their mouths? That might ring a bell. I just want to be 100% sure here, you know, make sure we’ve got the right girl… oh, that’s great. Yeah. That really helps. Oh, okay, that’s your girl right there! The one double fisting your cock and dry-humping your leg.” It’d be kinda like watching a lion tear into a gladiator or Britney Spears devour a mexi-melt to actually see her do it in person.

_{Thanks to beaverbeater for the pic!!}

UNSEXY UPDATE: Turns out it’s not Ho-han. Just give it time, though. One will surface.

Braless as usual:

It’s a special day, folks — the first celebrity sex tape scandal of 2008! Ding ding ding! Today’s celebrity slut is none other than Vivica A. Fox, who you might remember was also arrested last year on suspicion of DUI (she pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor count of driving with a blood-alcohol level over the legal limit of .08 last month). Trans World News says

Actress Vivica A. Fox has a sex tape that has been circulated around recently. An inebriated Fox is seen on her knees, performing oral sex to an Atlanta man, who was secretly taping her on his cell phone. The man then e-mailed the sex tape to his friends, who then e-mailed it to Fox. Fox then e-mailed it to a friend of hers in the Atlanta Police Department. It is unknown if Fox is filing a complaint against the man or asked the police department to handle the situation in a private manner.The tape was confirmed by Atlanta hip-hop station V-103’s Porsche Foxx, a popular DJ in the city.

Well, I suppose it could always be worse. Like, instead of her drunkenly slobbering all over some guy’s ball sack, it could have been the director’s cut of “Booty Call” followed by a clip from “Juwanna Man.” God, would that ever be embarrassing!

What Vivica actually looks like:

What Vivica looks like with the magic of PhotoShop: