Jennifer Lopez isn’t content to be known as “just another actress” — Jenny from the Block wants to score a little Academy gold, and it looks like she’s finally found the perfect vehicle to achieve her dreams. MSNBC says

Lopez has now signed on for a new film. Variety reports she’ll star in “The Governess”, the story of a thief who must pose as a nanny to three unruly children and a wealthy widower in order to pull off a heist. She later faces a tough decision when she falls in love with the single father.

She beat out some stiff competition to secure that role, too. I heard the orangutan from “Dustin Checks In” and Waitress #3 from “Weekend at Bernie’s II” both got call-backs for the part.

JLo’s 39th birthday in NY July 24th:

Oscar-winning actress Tatum O’Neal was arrested Sunday and charged with possession of a controlled substance when cops witnessed her trying to buy crack cocaine. According to the NY Daily News

The 44-year-old O’Neal initially told cops she was “doing research for a part,” a police source said. When cops searched her and found two bags of drugs - one with crack, one with regular cocaine - and an unused crack pipe, she changed her story, sources said.

“I’ve been clean for a long time,” the teary-eyed actress pleaded as she asked cops to give her a break, sources said. “Today was the first time I was relapsing, but you guys saved me! Can you let me go?”

“Researching a part” is perhaps the most brilliant excuse I’ve ever heard. And applicable on so many levels, too! Like, “I’m not a compulsive overeater; I’m researching the part of Britney Spears.” Or, “I’m not maniacally promiscuous; I’m just researching the part of Paris Hilton.” And “I’m not luring children up to my apartment to feed off their souls; I’m researching the part of Dina Lohan.” The possibilities are practically endless!

Topless-dancer-turned-Hollywood-screenwriter Diablo Cody has inspired strippers nationwide with her big Oscar win Sunday night. According to Page Six

The topless talents at Rick’s Cabaret NY were so excited about Cody being up for Best Screenplay Sunday night, they stopped dancing and stayed glued to the big-screen TVs as the winner was announced. They burst into tears when they heard Cody’s name. “She proves that if you follow your dreams, anything can come true,” said a busty brunette. The girls even made a plaque that reads: “Dedicated to Diablo Cody, who has taken our calling to new levels.”

Then the manager clapped his hands together brusquely with a sharp “Hey, hey — ladies! These men aren’t going to dry-hump themselves for sixty bucks a pop! Stuff your dreams back in your g-strings and let’s see us some titties!” I’m sure it’s just a matter of time ’till they tear down Scores and erect a library in her honor.

P.S. Erect!

The Dr. Florence Sabin of our generation at the 2008 Film Independent’s Spirit Awards Saturday: