This gives a whole new meaning to the term “hair pie,” doesn’t it? Ugh. It’s what Cousin It would look like after gender-reassignment surgery and a week on “RuPaul’s Drag Race.”
Posing with fans in London last night:
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
Hey, what’s the exact opposite of Kristen Stewart in a full suit of armor? Candice Swanepoel in a sexy cowgirl outfit. Meet the yin to her yang. Now I have brought balance to the internet, just as the prophecy foretold!
That’s either a really stupid fucking hat, or Lady Gaga has one of the worst cases of cauliflower ear I’ve ever seen. On the plus side, with all that shit obstructing her vision, there’s always a good chance she’ll get hit by a bus crossing the street. We must never let go of that hope, brothers and sisters.
PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer Griffin Online, Pacific Coast News
It’s a good thing Lady Gaga’s chicken talon matches her hair. Otherwise, this outfit would look totally stupid.
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News
The Brit Awards were in London last night, so see if you can guess if Lady Gaga made a huge spectacle of herself in some asinine getup. The Daily Mail says
The singer appeared on the red carpet sporting a white tiered dress with a white pompadour wig.
The outfit was reminiscent of several iconic figures, including Pierrot, the melancholic clown-like mime character and 18th Century French Queen Marie Antoinette.
Comparing her to Pierrot, the melancholic clown-like mime is giving her way too much credit. They should have just gone with “insufferable twatwaffle.” It’s short and to the point. Much like Lady Gaga’s penis.
See the lady half of her genitalia flopping out onstage here; what was under that robe here:
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PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News
Here it is bow season, and me without my compound bow! Too bad I couldn’t mount that head over my fireplace. She probably field dresses at a good hundred and ten pounds.
I guess Blitzen finally decided to come out of the closet:
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News
You can thank incomprehensibly popular gossip blogger Perez Hilton for the recent influx of Lady Gaga. He has single-handedly convinced the world that she’s relevant, and nobody seems to want to argue. Well, I have news for you, people. He’s fucking wrong. And I have it on good authority that “ferosh” and “fierce” and “brings the fabulosity,” when translated from the gay, actually means “all gimmick and no talent.” Kinda like Perez Hilton himself. Us heteroes like to call that “irony.”
I’m not really down with the whole “urban” thing, so I asked one of my black friends if there was a street term for the sort of ensemble seen here on Mickey Rourke. And there is! Get your pads of papers and pencils, because you’re going to want to write this one down: according to him, it’s “fuckin’ gay-ass Kevin Federline-wantin’-to-be-biyach.” Feel free to supplement the expression with the words “dawg” or “yo” or “home skillet” for authenticity’s sake.
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