If you thought Ashton Kutcher’s crappy new show “Pop Fiction” couldn’t get any lamer, allow me to present Exhibit D. As in D-list and D-Bags. Adnan “Fifteen Minutes Long Since Over” Ghalib and comedianne Kathy Griffin, panty-shopping together! Egad! In case you don’t know, the show’s premise involves celebrities setting up the paparazzi, like Paris Hilton and her personal shaman or Audrina Partridge and her meaningless tattoo. And in case you didn’t care, you could get the same quality celebrity fishing turds out of the shitter at Hyde or wringing out Lindsay Lohan’s t-back. Well-played, Kelso! Well-played.

Your days of seeing Britney Spears’ beaver are numbered, thanks to dad Jamie Spears’ daily panty checks. Welcome to the seventh circle of hell, daddy! According to Showbiz Spy

Jamie is fed up with the Toxic star’s revealing clothing and wants to ensure her pantyless flashing days are behind her. A source said: “Jamie makes sure to ask Britney if she has underwear on before she goes out.” The singer’s assistant, Brett, also reportedly reminds the pop wreck to wear underwear and a bra. The source added to the National Enquirer: “Britney tries to ignore their requests, but her dad is adamant and insists she change if she’s falling out of her top.”

I don’t know which is worse — being the guy that cleans up the slaughtered pig viscera in a meatpacking house, or being the guy that has to check his 26-year old daughter’s undercarriage for visible cave bacon. Either one would probably put you off pork for a while.