Damn skippy she is. Holy shit. Kate Beckinsale makes that idiot Megan Fox look like a fucking amateur. And she’s four years away from being 40! I’d say 36 is the new 69! Get it? 69? God, I hate myself.
Fan of the Spice Girls or not, I think we can all agree on one thing here: Ru Paul never looked more convincingly female. I can’t even see a bulge or a tuck anywhere!
Mel B in ads for her new underpants line, plus bonus pics of Italian actress Lola Ponce in a see-through mesh dress at the Inglourious Bastards premiere in Rome after the jump:
Paris Hilton flashed her black panties from the back of the car as she left Punk nightclub in Soho last night. I’m sure you’re as shocked as I am! Not but the crotch-baring, but by the fact her panties aren’t a blend of irradiated teflon, PVC and tyvek held together with heat-sealed Thermo bond seams. I figured that regular cotton panties would have burned up on first contact!
Pamela Anderson showed up at fashion photographer David LaChapelle’s ‘Jesus Is My Homeboy’ art exhibition over the weekend with the dewy complexion of a recently-unearthed potato and enough makeup to repaint the Sistine Chapel. Oh, and did I mention she wasn’t wearing any pants? According to the Daily Mail
The former Baywatch star caused a stir when she arrived at one of the most important art exhibitions in the U.S., Art Basel Miami Beach, wearing a pair of orange and black patterned underpants.
Anderson at least covered the top half of her modesty, with a grey off-the-shoulder t-shirt. Anderson enjoyed playing up to the cameras as she seductively bent over paintings, with her bottom and pink high heels in the air.
That just goes to show you that what you see in cartoons don’t always translate to real life. Sure, the whole “no pants” thing works for Donald Duck and Squidward, but experience has taught me that it doesn’t fly in the work place or while loitering outside the schoolyard. You also might want to pass on “swapping cigars with TNT” and “dressing up as a sexy girl rabbit to fool your captors.” Believe me, there are just some things from which the human mouth never recovers.
Country singer Taylor Swift told Women’s Health that she’s had a hard time buying underpants ever since she made it big. Fox News says
The teen star said that during a recent trip to Victoria’s Secret, she was taken aback at just how many people were watching her.
“I look up and there are, like, 15 people looking at me, with camera phones out, waiting to take a picture of which kind of underwear I’m going to buy. ‘Think she’s a small or an extra small?’ I wanted to be like, ‘Uh, guys? I can hear you!’”
Well, the way it was explained to me, taking candid cell phone pictures of girls’ underpants while they shop is illegal. Mall security used a bunch of words like “invasion of privacy” and “Video Voyeurism Prevention Act of 2004″ and “six months in jail” and “pervert loser.”
At the Glamour Women of the Year Awards on Sunday and arriving at the The Late Show yesterday:
Usually, you have to pay $19.95 to get a good look at a barely legal girl’s panties. Also, you usually enjoy seeing the barely legal girl’s panties. Unfortunately, neither is the case here.
More of Hayden Panettiere flashing her giant underpants on Ellen yesterday:
If you thought Ashton Kutcher’s crappy new show “Pop Fiction” couldn’t get any lamer, allow me to present Exhibit D. As in D-list and D-Bags. Adnan “Fifteen Minutes Long Since Over” Ghalib and comedianne Kathy Griffin, panty-shopping together! Egad! In case you don’t know, the show’s premise involves celebrities setting up the paparazzi, like Paris Hilton and her personal shaman or Audrina Partridge and her meaningless tattoo. And in case you didn’t care, you could get the same quality celebrity fishing turds out of the shitter at Hyde or wringing out Lindsay Lohan’s t-back. Well-played, Kelso! Well-played.
Your days of seeing Britney Spears’ beaver are numbered, thanks to dad Jamie Spears’ daily panty checks. Welcome to the seventh circle of hell, daddy! According to Showbiz Spy
Jamie is fed up with the Toxic star’s revealing clothing and wants to ensure her pantyless flashing days are behind her. A source said: “Jamie makes sure to ask Britney if she has underwear on before she goes out.” The singer’s assistant, Brett, also reportedly reminds the pop wreck to wear underwear and a bra. The source added to the National Enquirer: “Britney tries to ignore their requests, but her dad is adamant and insists she change if she’s falling out of her top.”
I don’t know which is worse — being the guy that cleans up the slaughtered pig viscera in a meatpacking house, or being the guy that has to check his 26-year old daughter’s undercarriage for visible cave bacon. Either one would probably put you off pork for a while.
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