Sarah Jessica Parker hit the Mobile Art Chanel opening party in New York last night in a pair of two-tone pantyhose only an Olsen twin could love. The NY Daily News says

Sarah Jessica Parker reclaimed her title as a fashion icon with a pair of envelope-pushing two-toned nylons. The Chanel nylons - which will set you back $250 - are from next season.

Sorry to break it to you, SJP, but I already have like eight pairs of those. They’re called control-top pantyhose and they come in a plastic egg at Walgreens for a whopping three bucks. Looks like somebody just took you for a ride! No, seriously. Like maybe they rode you through a meadow or a field or something. And from the looks of your hair, they passed right over “half-trot” and went straight into the “full gallop” for six or seven miles. It’s times like these a good groomer and farrier would really pay off.