In a recent interview with Parade magazine, Brad Pitt made the mistake of admitting that he “wasn’t living an interesting life” while married to Jennifer Aniston and that he spent most of their marriage “trying to pretend it was something that it wasn’t.” Now Jennifer is of course demanding a public apology from him, because it’s not like she talked about their marriage and Brad Pitt in every other interview she’s ever fucking done. Oh, wait. Us Magazine says:

42-year-old ex-wife [Jennifer Aniston] got wind of the catty comment [and] “was annoyed,” a pal close to the actress says. “She thought it was rude and inappropriate.”

Team Aniston — her agent and publicists — “went ballistic,” a Pitt insider reveals, and angrily reached out to Pitt’s camp.

“They got his team involved and Brad was read the riot act,” the source says. “We think he’s jealous she’s in love.”

Within 24 hours, Pitt had surprisingly released a statement lamenting that his words were misinterpreted, and that his former love “is an incredibly giving, loving and hilarious woman.”

Sure, her new boyfriend’s hogging the umbrella, and yes, his jeans are tighter than hers, and maybe he’s wearing more jewelery than she is, but Justin Theroux is still a man. He may not be attractive, talented or interesting, and he may give off a creepy Adam Lambert vibe, but he clearly loves Jennifer Aniston‘s credit cards. Eat your heart out, Brad Pitt.

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Brad Pitt opens up in Parade about his life during his marriage to Jennifer Aniston (it sucked) and how it compares to his life now with partner Angelina Jolie (it’s uh-MAzing). There’s no mention, however, of how he feels since Angie made his balls a rear-view mirror decoration for her car. Says Parade,

“I put much more emphasis on being a satisfied man. I’m satisfied with making true choices and finding the woman I love, Angie, and building a family that I love so much.

“I spent the ‘90s trying to hide out, trying to duck the full celebrity cacophony. I started to get sick of myself sitting on a couch, holding a joint, hiding out. It started feeling pathetic. It became very clear to me that I was intent on trying to find a movie about an interesting life, but I wasn’t living an interesting life myself. I think that my marriage [to actress Jennifer Aniston] had something to do with it. Trying to pretend the marriage was something that it wasn’t.”

“One of the greatest, smartest things I ever did was give my kids Angie as their mom. She is such a great mom. Oh man, I’m so happy to have her.”

After that, Brad turned around to Angie, and said, “Did I do good, Angie, did I do good? Huh? Can I have a treat now? Can I? Can I?” At which point, Angie leaned over, patted him on the head, and tossed him a fish.

The Golden Couple at the Toronto premiere of Moneyball: 

As an official ambassador for Barbados, Rihanna returned to her home country and donned the traditional fishnets and crotch-trinkets to celebrate the Bajan version of Carnival. You can almost smell the B.O. and urine from here. The Daily Mail says:

The Grand Kadooment is the official finale celebration of the Crop Over Festival Season and Rihanna was taking part in the parade of Masquerade Bands.

The singer climbed aboard a float dressed in a cut away bra top and a pair of tiny red pants flaunting her fabulous figure as she celebrated.

They left out the part where old Bajan woman prods the entrails of a disemboweled goat with a dried chicken’s foot and tells you your fortune for the price of ten banana leaves. And ten banana leaves says Rihanna’s fortune was “Your Kadooment costume is the most clothes you’ve worn in the past two years.”

More pics after the jump:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

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The press machine for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is still railroading its way through the media, but for once it doesn’t involve Megan Fox babbling incessantly about her sexuality.  Shia LaBeouf is in the latest issue of “Parade” magazine and he gives a surprisingly candid interview to Dotson Rader, who describes LaBeouf as “foul-mouthed, resentful, funny, prickly, quick-witted, and charming—a package of contradictions.”  The interview covers LaBeouf’s dirt-poor childhood, how he originally got into acting for the money, his insecurities and the fickle nature of fame.

On the accident last summer which injured his hand:

“Last July, I got in a car accident, and my truck flipped three times and landed on my hand,” he explains, raising his injured hand to show me. “It was smashed so bad, it didn’t even look like a hand. See the knuckle of my middle finger, the phalanx?” He rubs the knuckle. “There’s no bone left in there currently. And to fix this other finger, they took bone out of my hip. They’ll take out more bone to fix another finger.”

On performing as a clown with his street-vendor father:

“It was a hustle. We’d walk around the neighborhood in full clown regalia,” he recalls. “My embarrassment factor didn’t exist. I had fun, because I knew that in the middle of a performance my parents couldn’t fight. So, for sure, every day, there had to be some peaceful time for us, or we weren’t going to make it through the week financially.

“I’m still doing the same hustle now,” he continues. “The only change is that, instead of my dad selling hot dogs from the cart, it’s Steven Spielberg selling the hot dogs.”

On where he gets his sense of humour:

“My humor came from seeing my parents have sex, smoke weed, my mom being naked—just weird hippie stuff, twisted R-rated humor,” he says. “I’d get up there in my OshKosh B’Gosh outfit and my bowl haircut. I was a little kid with a Lenny Bruce mouth. That was the act. But there’s no money in stand-up comedy, so I went into acting.”

On his recent breakup, his alcoholism, and moving forward:

“Maybe it was career pressure,” he answers. “Maybe I chose work. Every man has those feelings of escape and survival. I know you shouldn’t be that way. I’m trying to understand it and find the answers. I don’t have them now. Like other 23-year-old guys, I’m normal and I’m fallible.”

“Why did the love of my life and I break up?” he asks, puzzled. “Man, I have no idea. What was that all about? I have no answers to anything. None. Why am I an alcoholic? I haven’t a damn clue! What is life about? I don’t know.”

“What I do know is, I screw up, and I know that I’m working on myself to be a better person,” he says. “So I have no apologies. The best I can do is learn from my mistakes and move forward. And that’s what I’m trying to do.”

Shia LaBeouf in the new issue of Parade: