Sep 4, 2009
It’s long-been rumored that Queen Latifah is really a lesbian, but these pictures of her partying with lady strippers in a Jersey penthouse ought to pretty much seal the deal for any doubters out there. The National Enquirer says
The wild party was held at together on a regular basis for drinks. “Queen Latifah is a part of the regular group, and she was egging on the strippers to be as outrageous as they could be,” said the source.
“The strippers who were invited to the gathering happily joined the party after they performed. There’s a lot of drinking at these gathering and lots of music. Some of the ladies get so amorous that they pair off together.”
Wow. Photoshop in a couple of little girls with their eyes stitched shut doing a backwards crab walk and that picture pretty much constitutes everything my nightmares are made of.
Jul 27, 2009
Even though she had already had a birthday party the night before, Marc Anthony threw wife Jennifer Lopez another “surprise” 40th birthday party Saturday night in New York because she’s a spoiled little cunt and nobody likes her. The NY Daily News says
Although the actress’ pals showed up at the Edison Ballroom for “An Evening With Lola” (hubby Marc Anthony’s nickname for Lopez) in her honor, Lopez - who entered the shindig to Sarah Vaughan’s “Whatever Lola Wants” - stayed true to her diva status and “threw a fit” when some of her guests were late.
“There were a noticeable amount of empty seats when the dinner started. Jennifer was really irritated. She was fuming because people were late, and complained about it really loudly to Marc,” said one partygoer, who added, “Jennifer was visibly upset and embarrassed.
Well, as Marc Anthony clearly knows, nothing says “Happy Fortieth” like a good titty grab. Although I have to admit, HR seemed decidedly less receptive to it.
Feeling her up at her first party Friday night:
Feb 18, 2009
Digital Spy reported this morning that Mickey Rourke inadvertently crashed Paris Hilton’s birthday party at Butter nightclub.
Hilton, who turned 28 on February 16, had hired New York’s Butter nightclub to celebrate her birthday with friends and family.
According to OK!, the Wrestler star arrived at the venue unannounced at around 2am, unaware that he was crashing a private party.
A source revealed that when one guest asked Rourke why he was at Hilton’s party, he replied: “Whose party? I’m not. I don’t know…We’re having our own party!”
The unnamed insider added that Rourke was a big hit with partygoers, who lavished him with attention and well-wishes for Sunday night’s Oscars.
Now, I really don’t know much about Mickey Rourke and I haven’t seen his new movie (watching a movie about wrestling isn’t exactly high on my want-to-see list), but if STDs had a face, don’t you think it would look an awful lot like Mickey? All greasy and sleazy-looking with loud clothes and gold chains and stuff. And Paris, well, she’s like a walking STD herself. So really, it’s like fate brought them together. Combine those two and you’d have the spokesman for Valtrex, like that walking phlegm-wad is for Mucinex. Need further convincing? Well, with the magic of bad photoshop, I’ve done a composite of their faces. I present to you, The New Face of STDs!
Jan 15, 2009
Paris Hilton might be “famous,” but among legitimate celebrities she might as well be a leper. Case in point:
Paris Hilton hid in the bathroom at Creative Artist Agency’s big post-Golden Globes bash Sunday night after CAA… caught her slipping in uninvited — and loudly demanded she be removed from the Sunset Towers party. “[The CAA event planner] was outraged at her sense of entitlement, and he was adamant that she be removed,” an eyewitness confides to us. “He was storming around, yelling ‘Who let her in? She is not invited, and somebody had better get her out of here immediately!’”
LAPD security and event planners had to wait for the heir-head to exit the powder room so they could toss her, and finally — a good 15 minutes later — she emerged looking red-faced and embarrassed.
Even more shocking was the news that Paris Hilton had been found in a public restroom without some dude’s ball sack on her chin. I guess there’s a first time for everything!
At the People’s Choice Awards:
Jun 9, 2008
Video footage of Mary-Kate Olsen being carried to her car and then tumbling out of the backseat after partying in L.A. Thursday night has sparked rumors that The Thinspiration will be taking another sabbatical in rehab. (I searched high and low this morning for the footage, but it’s all mysteriously been yanked after making the rounds late Friday afternoon.) According to Full Disclosure
Olsen went to rehab in Utah in 2004 for an eating disorder amid rumors that she was also being treated for substance abuse. Now friends say she is out of control again.
“She refused to talk to Elle magazine about her involvement with Heath Ledger [and it] has brought the whole thing up in the press again and she has been depressed all over,” one pal tells us.
Boy, I wish I could make a living out of drinking my body weight and passing out on the street. Of course, for Mary-Kate, drinking her body weight translates to three Bacardi Breezers and a buttery nipple if she’s retaining water, but still. I’d be fucking Fortune 500 by now. You know, instead of just part-time in your mom’s pants. Buuurrn, mothafuckas!
At the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala last month with her sister:
Feb 28, 2008
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are hosting a $200,000 ‘Welcome to the World’ (their words, not mine) party to celebrate the birth of Jennifer Lopez’s and Marc Anthony’s twins. According to Female First
A source said: “Tom and Katie are thrilled for Jennifer and Marc and have offered to throw a Welcome to the World bash for the twins next month.” The party at Tom and Katie’s Los Angeles home will have a pink and blue theme and guests expected to attend include John Travolta, Eva Longoria Parker and David and Victoria Beckham.
With a price tag of 200 grand, you can expect plenty of super-fun Scientology party games like “Pin the Repressed Memory on the E-Meter,” “How Many Invisible Thetans in This Jar?” and my personal favorite, “Silent Music-less Chairs.” It’s sure to be a very un-glib time for everyone involved!
Jan 29, 2008
Sobriety keeps eluding Lindsay Lohan, probably because she hits the club scene three nights a week surrounded by the same crowd she kept before rehab. According to Rush and Molloy
The “I Know Who Killed Me” star knocked back “at least two” vodka cocktails Friday night at the Beatrice Inn and later snapped at snappers trying to take her picture. Lohan, who checked out of a Utah rehab center in October, downed the drinks while partying with ex-boyfriend Stavros Niarchos and MTV reality “star” Brody Jenner, sources tell us.
“Lindsay is learning how to work through her addictions and, once in a while, she chooses to have a cocktail,” says a friend, attempting to explain. “People overexaggerate her behavior when in fact on Friday night, many people commented to her on how composed she was.”
No one comments on how “composed” you are when you’re stone cold sober. The only time composure is noticed by your party-going peers is when you’ve had eight martinis and a couple of lines in the bathroom and you can still walk and not slur your words. Then they say stuff like “Man, she’s been drinking like a fucking sailor all night and she hasn’t fallen down yet! Unbelievable!” And then another friend might add “Yeah, but ten bucks says she passes out under that table in fifteen minutes.” And then another would pipe up “I’ll take that bet!” and someone else chimes in with a “Care to make it interesting? Twenty says she gets fucked in the bathroom before she actually blacks out under the table.” “In the ass or the vagina?” “Double or nothin’ she gets it in both!” Then a chorus of laughter and high-fives. Just watch the video of my 21st birthday again and you’ll see that I’m right. Believe me, for the first twelve or so minutes of the party, everybody keeps saying how composed I look. Then they wink and tip back an imaginary bottle and do that tongue-in-cheek thing for blowjobs and mime throwing up. My friends are all a bunch of assholes.
Lindsay out Saturday night:
Jan 9, 2008
Recent photos of Tara Reid looking like she ought to be crouched over a bowl of gruel and crawling with flies have sparked rumors that she could have anorexia. Not so, the “actress” says. She tells OK! Magazine
“I’m not too thin. I go up 10 pounds, I go down 10 pounds. I was thin for a movie that I just finished… What have I ever really done? Dance on a table? Who doesn’t drink with their friends and have a good time? If I have a drink in my hand, it doesn’t make me an alcoholic. If I want a glass of wine, I want a glass of wine!”
Then some emphatic table pounding and frantic breathing and a couple of lower eyelid twitches before she turned the bottle up and polished off its contents in a single gulp. “Besides,” she added as she lit her cigarette, “I eat meat all the time. You know — pant sausage, pork loin, tube steak, one-eyed salami, meat balls and gravy, trouser snake, bologna…”
Tara in Indonesia last month:
