Well, at least he isn’t wearing his asbestos hat again.

I waited ’till today to address the claims that Patrick Swayze has cancer, because 1) I am committed to journalistic integrity, and 2) because The “I Married A Two-Headed Elvis Clone” Enquirer was the source of the rumors. Unfortunately, it’s true: Patrick Swayze’s personal physician confirmed last night that the “Roadhouse” star has cancer of the pancreas. Despite pancreatic cancer being notoriously difficult to treat and carrying a survival rate of less than five percent, the doctor believes the actor is responding to chemotherapy and denies the claims that Swayze has only a little over a month left to live. In a statement released to the media, Dr. Fisher said (via The Daily Mail)

“Patrick has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far. All of the reports stating the timeframe of his prognosis and his physical side effects are absolutely untrue. We are considerably more optimistic. Patrick is continuing his normal schedule during this time, which includes working on upcoming projects. The outpouring of support and concern he has already received from the public is deeply appreciated by Patrick and his family.”

Still, it doesn’t look good for Patrick. The Enquirer claims that the cancer has already spread to his other vital organs, which pretty much seals the deal in most cancer cases. It’s a damn shame. Like Bohdi said, “Life sure has a sick sense of humor, doesn’t it?” Also, “Back off, Warchild. Seriously.” No matter what the situation, you can never go wrong with a good “Point Break” quote. At least we’ll always have that.