EVENING UPDATE: Sad news, guys. Patrick Swayze died today at age 57, after a nearly two year fight with pancreatic cancer. From People:
“Patrick Swayze passed away peacefully today with family at his side after facing the challenges of his illness for the last 20 months,” his rep tells PEOPLE in a statement.
A gifted dancer, a rugged outdoorsman, a romantic leading man and a loving husband, Swayze was also, as his brother Don put it, “a warrior” in his cancer fight.
Patrick Swayze was the son of a choreographer and he trained at the Joffrey Ballet School, he performed on Broadway, he appeared in over 30 feature films, he met his wife when he was 19 and she was 15 and they were together for nearly 40 years, he flew his own planes, he owned and operated a ranch outside of Los Angeles, and he starred in a television series whilst undergoing chemotherapy for one of the most painful forms of cancer. He is possibly most famous for his roles in Dirty Dancing and Ghost, but let’s get serious here. His real legacy is as follows:
Before you start your all-day-long in memorandum “Roadhouse” and “Point Break” marathons, let me be the first to tell you that Patrick Swayze is NOT Dead. His rep told Us Weekly
“This is to confirm that Patrick Swayze did not pass away this morning contrary to severely reckless reports stemming from a radio station in Jacksonville, Florida. Patrick Swayze is alive, well and is enjoying his life and he continues to respond to treatment.”
That’s great news. Really, who among us doesn’t love Patrick Swayze? And besides, having to talk about death today would have been a real downer, unless you’re an emo 14-year old with a faggy MySpace or a virgin-hungry jihadist-in-training. So instead of death, here are some pictures of super-hot Victoria’s Secret model Bar Rafaeli in next month’s Elle magazine. IL-Hamdu-Allah, baby!
I waited ’till today to address the claims that Patrick Swayze has cancer, because 1) I am committed to journalistic integrity, and 2) because The “I Married A Two-Headed Elvis Clone” Enquirer was the source of the rumors. Unfortunately, it’s true: Patrick Swayze’s personal physician confirmed last night that the “Roadhouse” star has cancer of the pancreas. Despite pancreatic cancer being notoriously difficult to treat and carrying a survival rate of less than five percent, the doctor believes the actor is responding to chemotherapy and denies the claims that Swayze has only a little over a month left to live. In a statement released to the media, Dr. Fisher said (via The Daily Mail)
“Patrick has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far. All of the reports stating the timeframe of his prognosis and his physical side effects are absolutely untrue. We are considerably more optimistic. Patrick is continuing his normal schedule during this time, which includes working on upcoming projects. The outpouring of support and concern he has already received from the public is deeply appreciated by Patrick and his family.”
Still, it doesn’t look good for Patrick. The Enquirer claims that the cancer has already spread to his other vital organs, which pretty much seals the deal in most cancer cases. It’s a damn shame. Like Bohdi said, “Life sure has a sick sense of humor, doesn’t it?” Also, “Back off, Warchild. Seriously.” No matter what the situation, you can never go wrong with a good “Point Break” quote. At least we’ll always have that.
