Paul McCartney and his latest girlfriend, some lady named Nancy Shevell, went to the Natural Resources Defense Council “Forces For Nature” benefit in NYC, and Nancy Shevell wore… whatever the holy hell those things are on her legs.  Are they leggings?  Why don’t they fit properly?  Moreover, why the shit are they translucent?  They can’t be footless tights, because first of all who the hell would actually wear footless tights and secondly, they’re all Saggy Baggy Elephant on her legs.  What the hell ARE those things?  Is this performance art?  Is it a one-woman act based on The Saggy Baggy Elephant?  I would’ve thought that would require wearing more grey, and I don’t understand the sequins AT ALL.  I hate this woman already, and I had never heard of her until 90 seconds ago.

In other news, Paul McCartney is seriously starting to resemble Droopy Dog.

Divorce negotiations between Paul McCartney and PegLeg the Gold Digging Skank have collapsed, and it looks like the two are headed for a public court hearing. From The Daily Mail:

“The whole thing broke down without agreement. A trial date has been set for February next year and that is where we are heading.” A major sticking point is said to be Sir Paul’s demand that Ms Mills, 39, promised not to speak about their four-year marriage.

It is understood McCartney, 65, offered her £50million, including a lump sum of as much as £30million, plus an annual income for their daughter Beatrice. But Ms Mills, it is thought, was willing to accept as much as £15million less - provided she was free to discuss their relationship.

Ever wonder what Heather Mills does when she’s not lying and extorting? Well, I have it on good authority that she volunteers at childrens’ hospitals. Yep, I heard she even brings in puppies for the dying children. But instead of lettings the kids hold and play with the puppies, she just stands in front of them and kills the puppies with her bare hands — just squeezing the little necks until their little puppy eyeballs pop right out of their heads! Then she goes around and collects the tears in a jewel studded chalice. I think it’s got something to do with the tears of dying children being good for the complexion.

More of Stumpy McShitface in Vegas last summer, after the jump.

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