If I had an ass like Paz Vega’s, I’d never fucking wear pants. And I’d enter every room ass-first. I’d decorate it with Christmas lights and oil it three times a day and charge people a dollar to make a wish on it. The rest of the time I’d just stand in front of a mirror admiring it from different angles.
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
The 53rd Annual Grammy Awards were last night, so of course Lady Gaga had to outdo herself and think of some new way to garner attention. So naturally she showed up in an egg carried aloft by some plastic-clad fucktards, and later revealed herself to be some sort of alien hybrid with pointy prosthetic shoulders. My only question is: How do we kill it? The answer of course is to nuke the entire site from orbit; it’s the only way to be sure.
If you’re interested in who won what, click here for the full list of award winners. Or, you can just check out what everyone was wearing.
More pictures after the jump:
When I’m holding out my swimsuit bottoms so I can admire my own genitals in public like Paz Vega here, I usually try to make more of a “surprised” face. Then I like to squint and crane my neck a little closer, fan myself in disbelief before elbowing the person next to me and exclaiming, “Hey, buddy — get a load of that beaver!” Of course, it helps to actually have a semi-aquatic rodent in your drawers. The YMCA staff can’t ask you to leave that way. They have to call animal control first, which buys you a good ten or fifteen minutes before the guys with the tranquilizer guns show up and ruin everybody’s good time.
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