Last week at the Venice Film Festival, Madonna made a huge ass of herself when she berated a journalist for giving her a bouquet of hydrangeas — which she apparently “loathes” — without realizing that her mic was still on and that everybody could hear her. So today, she made an incredibly stupid video where she apologizes to hydrangeas for the hurt she might have caused, only it’s a fake apology, because she ends it with “fuck you, I still hate hydrangeas” while stomping on the bouquet.

This stupid bitch doesn’t get it. It had nothing to do with the goddamn flowers. Someone tried to do something nice, and she was a complete cunt in return. For example, if someone handed me a ticket to see her new movie “W.E.,” I wouldn’t throw it on the ground and then make a video fake-apologizing for my hatred of movie tickets. I would say something like, “Thank you for the kind gesture, but I find Madonna an insufferable old cunt, so perhaps you can find a middle-aged queen to accompany you instead.” If there’s one thing we can take from this video, it’s that acting and a sense of humor will forever elude Madonna.

Awfully pretentious for someone who once got nekkid for Penthouse (seen here in the February 2011 edition of Penthouse’s Vintage Special):

A (NSFW) thirty-year old full-frontal photograph of Madonna and what appears to be a small yak is now available to the highest bidder, thanks to Christie’s auction house in New York. People Magazine says

[The] head of Christie’s photography department says Madonna was a financially strapped 20-year-old dancer when she responded to photographer Lee Friedlander’s newspaper ad seeking a nude model. Her fee: $25.

Playboy published six photos from the shoot in 1985, though the one going on sale is “maybe the most explicit one.”

I did the math, and if your date to the senior prom bought you dinner, your puss went for more than Madonna’s did. Hell, if he just bought you a decent corsage. Or if he bought a pack of Trojans and two bottles of Boone’s Farm. Or even a shovel and a bag of lime for the guy you mowed down after those two bottles of Boone’s Farm. You can’t put a price tag on dignity, people!

Topless and therefore tasteful here; puss and therefore pornographic (NSFW) after the jump:

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