Here are some great pictures of Miley Cyrus performing for thousands of her impressionable little tween fans and their idiotic parents. I still can’t believe that her parents, her DAD especially, is fine with his little girls dressing like tramps. I dunno, there may be something weird going on there. I won’t be surprised if later down the line if Miley reveals that she had a “very close” relationship with her dad. Yuck.
Adam Lambert wants you to know that’s he not sorry about his controversial performance at the American Music Awards Sunday night; he’s sorry for you and your pathetic close-minded hate-mongering square-iness that can’t look true artistic greatness in the eye and accept it for what it is. He told Access Hollywood
“I’m not an artist that does things for every single person. I believe in artistic freedom and expression, I believe in honoring the lyrics of a song. If [my performance is] edited [for west coast viewers], that’s discrimination. There’s a big double standard, female pop artists have been doing things provocative like that for years, and the fact that I’m a male, and I’ll be edited and discriminated against.
People are scared and it’s really sad, I just wish people could open their minds up… it’s really not that big of a deal.”
Simulating oral sex and S&M isn’t pushing the envelope musically. It’s just a trite and pedestrian attempt at disguising crap as art. You really want to cross boundaries, try working free form jazz and the spoons into a couple of your songs. Now that would be a true testament to talent!
Crack might be “wack,” and crack might be “cheap,” but judging by her X Factor performance on Sunday night, Whitney Houston is back to basin’ again (FF to the 4:00 mark for the especially crack-y stuff). Star Magazine says
The admitted drug user’s bizarre appearance on Britain’s The X Factor raised eyebrows Sunday, as she nervously struggled through her song “Million Dollar Bill,” and seemed disoriented during the interview afterward.
When asked by the host when her album was to be released, Whitney paused and stared at the ground before stammering, “Yeah, the um…the album? It should released this weekend or next week sometime. I’ll be back here in April for the tour.”
When [the host] asked her what she thought of the talent, Whitney again looked at the floor for the answer. “I thought that they were…um…how do I put this? Really good.” Then she fiddled with her nose and added, “So that’s um…they’re young.”
Jesus Christ she’s freakin’ twitchy! All that’s missing is a herkie into a pile of folding chairs and a nervous smelling of the fingers she had shoved under her armpits during her Meredith Baxter-Birney monologue and she could be the old black version of Mary Katherine Gallagher.
Heidi Montag’s performance at the Miss Universe pageant last night sucked bigtime (see above), but apparently this was no surprise to pageant insiders. According to TMZ
Sources tells us pageant peeps are concerned that Heidi just can’t pull it off. We’re told “she’s lip-syncing and can’t remember the lyrics” (to her own song!!!), “looks like a trainwreck,” and “she can’t dance.”
Which might explain why NBC shot her performance from thirty feet away with the rapid-angle-change and the occasional 2 second closeup (usually while her hair was in her face), or why they only aired a total of 1 minute and 12 seconds of a 3-minute-34-seconds-long song. Yahoo News says
NBC, which broadcast the event in the Bahamas live, blocked out more than half of her performance as they introduced the 15 finalists.
You can get big fake tits, a nose job, dye your hair blonde and not take off your clothes for Playboy, but that still won’t change the fact that you look like a moose in the final throws of a epileptic seizure when you dance. Or that from the right angle, you look like Willem Dafoe in drag in “Boondock Saints.” Epic FAIL.
Ever wanted to know what Britney Spears would look like if she were a twice-divorced 56-year old brunette with cerebral palsy? Paula Abdul’s “I’m Just Here For The Music” performance on American Idol last night ought to pretty much answer your question.
Eva Mendes channeling Raquel Welch because she’s not a senior citizen in a corset:
Since I’m running this road show today, you kids know what that means… Lily Allen Cutewatch ‘09 marches on! Lily continues to cause me pain by providing me with no new pictures today, but nothing can dampen my affection for everyone’s favourite former hot mess and current sprightly charmer. Besides, I can overcome this heartache-causing obstacle by simply posting pictures from earlier this week, because I am super resourceful like that. Lily performed at The Academy in Dublin on Monday (to very favourable reviews, I might add), and of course she looked adorable even though she was wearing what is essentially the bastard offspring of a tutu and a lampshade, with some elements of a mop head or an upside down turban thrown in for good measure. If she ever shows up someplace in footie pajamas, it will pretty much be the best day of my life. Quit holding out on me, Lily!
Performing live at The Academy in Dublin on Monday:
SUPER ADORABLE UPDATE — Here’s Lily later in the show, after a not-insignificant quantity of wine. She kicked off her Louboutins and scampered about in stocking-feet for a bit, then put on a pair of Reeboks (possibly just as much for safety as for comfort):
Good news, Paula Abdul fans — she’s making her comeback, and it’s gonna be big! And no doubt embarrassing! TV Guide says
A tipster tells me that the American Idol judge, who hasn’t released an album of new material since 1995, is in talks to perform… during the network’s Super Bowl XLII telecast!
According to my source, the onetime Laker Girl is already in rehearsals for the video to her duet with Randy Jackson, the first single from his upcoming Music Club Vol. 1 CD. If the Super Bowl deal goes through, she would likely use the same choreography during her Feb. 3 Astroturf comeback.
If you haven’t already, go ahead and watch the above clip of Paula attempting to hawk her jewelery on QVC. If it’s any testament to the kind of live performance we can expect to see on game day (the 35 second mark’s the real highlight), then we’re in for a real treat. Like “shooting a rhinoceros full of tranquilzer darts and letting him stagger around a stage three lines behind on the lipsyncing and flailing his appendages like a windmill in a tornado” kind of treat. Usually you only see those kinds of performances at a hospital for the mentally ill or in a cardboard box housing a vagrant. I can’t make any promises that this one won’t smell like urine and cheap booze, too.
