George Clooney’s latest piece of ass Elizabetta Canalis allowed PETA to release unretouched nude photos of her for their latest anti-fur campaign. The Daily Mail says:

The 32-year-old model and TV host stripped off for the charity’s latest anti-fur adverts in which she posed completely naked in front of a simple blue background.

‘I think this is the best reason why I got naked in my life,’ Elisabetta said.

That is a good reason to get naked. As opposed to getting naked because — oh, I dunno… let’s say because you’re so drunk you’ve soiled yourself and your husband refuses to let you in the house unless you hose yourself down in the front yard first. Now that would be a bad reason to get naked. I learned that lesson the hard way last Cinco de Mayo.

Academy Award nominee Taraji P. Henson is the latest celebrity to strip down for PETA’s tired-ass “I’d Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur” campaign. The caption says that she is “comfortable in her own skin,” which is a good thing, because she’s clearly not comfortable in her own hair. If that weave were any more obvious, it’d still have the price tag and a Korean woman attached.

At the premiere of Karate Kid last summer:

PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures

Oh goody! Rihanna’s new perfume has landed the seal of approval by PETA. She should celebrate by eating a burger! Says Digital Spy,

Rihanna’s new fragrance Reb’l Fleur has been approved by animal rights activists at PETA.

The singer, whose scent will be available from January 25 in the US, has been praised for refusing to use a corporation that tests products on animals.

PETA senior vice president Dan Mathews sent the 22-year-old a big bouquet of flowers to thank her for considering animals.

He told WENN: “Rihanna’s decision to team up with Parlux is as kind to animals as her music is to your ears.

“By renouncing animal tests, Parlux is proving that beauty doesn’t have to have an ugly side.”

Yeah yeah, except I’m pretty positive those places that don’t do animal testing are using the knowledge gained by others who have. If they really want to be completely animal-friendly, they shouldn’t stand on the shoulders of others and then turn around and point self-righteous fingers. They should start at the very beginning and use humans like Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan and Snooki as their test-subjects. It’s about time they made themselves useful.

Going to Fred Segal:

Photo source: Fame Pictures

It’s fitting that a man with enough foresight to legally change his name to his Bengals uniform number (in Spanish, no less!) would also be wise enough to champion animal rights by holding a LEATHER FOOTBALL in front of his wang. Those tattoos of his must double as irony-repellent.

Kim Kardashian can’t resist posting pictures of herself with her tits hanging out, so of course this photo went up on her Twitter page yesterday. But this time, people seemed less interested in her fake boobs and more concerned about the poor cat dangling five feet off the ground. PETA said in a written statement

“Kim Kardashian… mistakenly thinks that because a mother cat picks up her kittens by the scruff of the neck that a supportive hand under the rump isn’t needed.”

But Kim was quick to defend her photo, writing on her official blog:

I have been getting negative comments regarding the way I was holding the kitty, but rest assured, the owner and vet were on set and showed me how to pick him up. The cat was not harmed in any way and is perfectly fine! I love animals and would never do anything to harm any animals.

And in her defense, I’m sure when she sees something black, she instinctively feels she has to get underneath it. We can’t fault her for that. It’d be like getting mad at a retard for having an extra 21st chromosome.

Shopping in Sydney in — you guessed it! — a skin-tight minidress:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

It’s not news that PETA is made up of a bunch of radical, deranged lunatics who act first and ask questions later, but this is hysterically inept, even for them.  They used an unauthorised picture of Michelle Obama, First Lady of the United States, in their latest idiotic anti-fur ad.  From People:

The latest ad, titled “Fur-Free and Fabulous!”, surfaced today picturing First Lady Michelle Obama– alongside Carrie Underwood, Oprah Winfrey and Tyra Banks– without the White House’s knowledge. When contacted, Semonti Stephens, a spokeswoman for the First Lady, tells PEOPLE of the ad campaign: “We did not consent.” As far as Mrs. Obama’s feelings about the PETA cause in general, Stephens says only, “Mrs. Obama does not wear fur.” PETA’s response? “The fact is that Michelle Obama has issued a statement indicating that she doesn’t wear fur, and the world should know that in PETA’s eyes, that makes her pretty fabulous,” the organization’s president Ingrid Newkirk told the press.

Oh sweet Jesus, PLEASE tell me this means the Secret Service gets to set PETA on fire.

On an unrelated note, what the HELL is going on with Tyra Banks in that photo?  She looks five times more like an alien than she usually does.  Her skin isn’t even a regular human colour.  She’s mauve!  Can the Secret Service set her on fire, too?  Better safe than sorry, and whatnot.

A new PETA ad featuring Playboy cover girl and a “Dancing With the Stars” regular Joanna Krupa in nothing but a crucifix has got the Catholic church all up in arms. Fox 411 says

Krupa is seen topless and bottomless in the latest spot by the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, her private parts covered — barely — by a large, well-placed metallic crucifix.

“It’s totally inappropriate,” the Catholic League President said in a statement. “The fact is that cats and dogs are a lot safer in pet stores than they are in the hands of PETA employees. Moreover, pet stores don’t rip off Christian iconography and engage in cheap irreligious claims.”

I’m glad that the Catholic Church is finally expressing outrage over something that merits this kind of attention. Crucifix-covered vaginas are so much more socially impacting and significant than, say, a chronic instances of child molestation at the hands of the practicing clergy. Good on the Catholic Church for finally taking a stand on the important issues.

Joanna on her way to DTWS:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

^{Click images for NSFW versions}

I’m glad PETA has finally seen the light and done something that can actually resonate with the non-psychotic-and-hopelessly-misguided rest of us normal people. We could give a shit about the way the Colonel fries his chicken or how many crepuscular rodents have to die to make one floor-length chinchilla coat, but we really, really care about boobs. In fact, the only thing we seem to care about more than boobs are vaginas. 260 million pages of archived erotic content can’t be wrong!

Keely from the back:

Some chick you’ve never heard of before from the “Twilight” series got naked for this PETA ad (click header for NSFW version). Try not to wet your pants from excitement. The NY Daily News says

Expressing solidarity with all things cute and cuddly, 19-year-old Christian Serratos appears in the woods of what looks like none other than Forks, Washington. This appearance makes Serratos the youngest person to pose naked in a PETA ad.

So talking about taking pictures of increasingly younger naked teen girls is okay now? That’s good to know. My parole officer is always acting like it’s some kind of social faux pas to bring it up in dinner conversation. Only his words were more like “direct violation of Federal Child Exploitation Laws” and “felony charge and a minimum of five years in jail.” That guy really needs to get with the program.

At the Nylon magazine launch party a few months back:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

“Dancing with the Stars” Karina Smirnoff is a five-time U.S. National Dance Champion, World Trophy Champion, and Asian Open Champion, as well as the “first woman to ever make the British Professional Final with three different partners.” Well, I once had sex with three different partners in Great Britain. And they assured me they were professionals. A butcher, a baker, and a candlestick maker, as I recall. PETA tried to act like that didn’t count. Hypocrites!

Showing off her engagement ring (before they called off the wedding earlier this month) in a bikini:

Owain Yeoman? Ever heard of him? I haven’t. He’s on Kitchen Confidential, which I’ve never seen, and on some other show called The Mentalist. Okay, whatever. He’s the latest to jump on the PETA crazytrain. The caption on this photo reads,

The Mentalist star Owain Yeoman strips off to show his abs in the latest ad for PETA, and proudly states: “I am Owain Yeoman, and I am a Vegetarian.” The actor says his wife effectively tricked him into vegetarianism by serving up ‘faux turkey’ but pretending it was the real thing – and he has been a convert ever since. “The fact that the meat on my plate was once a living, breathing creature became something I could no longer ignore or justify as food. As someone who felt they were a confirmed meat-eater, I guess ultimately if I can do it, then anyone can,” says Yeoman. “It’s a really easy choice to make. And it’s a humane choice to make.” The ad is part of PETA’s new series of vegetarian testimonials that star a growing list of celebrities. In a TV ad, Yeoman says: “It doesn’t take a ‘mentalist’ to realize that eating meat just doesn’t make sense anymore.” And in another, he says: “It’s not healthy, it’s devastating to our planet, and it means a cruel, painful death for literally billions of animals every year.”

If he really felt bad about eating animals, you’d think that he’d go whole hog (ha) and hate anything that even resembled animal, whether in look or taste. I mean, if you really think meat is murder, then why would you want to try to make your food kind of taste or mimic its living, breathing counterpart? Come on, you veggies, if you’re going to be a zealot then do it right! Don’t try to disguise your tofu as anything other than what it is–a cold, white, slimy blob. Hey, kind of sounds like my ex.

PETA advocate Pamela Anderson was on hand at the grand opening of the Sapphire’s new strip club/steakhouse in New York yesterday, but not on behalf of the innocent cows who had to die for you to get that boner/beef steak combo — she was just there collecting a paycheck. Is that Colonel Sanders I hear laughing in the background? She might rather go naked than wear fur, but I guess she’d also rather cash in on cow murder than be poor. I’d like to see PETA put that one on a poster. Never have the words “strip steak” and “tenderloin tips” been so fraught with sexual innuendo and personal compromise!