I’ve heard of icing your nipples, but this shit is ridiculous. Petra Nemcova could probably bore holes into a two-by-four with those things. I imagine your average man would pick her over a Philip’s head any day of the week. Besides, it’s not like you can have sex with a screwdriver. At least not with the pointy end, anyway. Trust me, that’s one mistake I won’t have to make twice!

NSFW in the April issue of D Magazine:

If you’ve always wondered what Eddie Munster would look like with long hair and red lipstick, wonder no more. And if you’ve always wondered what Eddie Munster would look like with long hair and red lipstick, you need to stop masturbating while watching TV Land and move out of your mother’s basement already. Weirdo.

Petra Nemcova at Marie Claire Presents A Screening Of “Holly” August 5th:

Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn’s divorce has been called off courtesy of a dismissal filed and granted on Tuesday. Us Weekly says

[Sean had] originally filed divorce papers December 7… but the petition was dismissed December 18. On December 21, [Robin] filed her own request for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences.

[After the dismissal was granted], the pair hit an Eddie Vedder concert in San Francisco, where Penn… dedicated a song to his wife, 42, on stage for her birthday.

I’ll have been married six years this July, so I’m pretty fluent in the language of the successful marriage. It’s all about the give and take. It’s knowing when to say “Don’t get up; Let me bring you another beer” or “How about I start leaving the toilet seat up instead of always making you put it down” or “Hey, why don’t you go down to the lobby and bone some Russian models while I cry alone in our hotel room?” That’s what marriage counselors call “compromise,” from Latin compromissum, meaning “you signed a prenup, sweetheart.”

Another model Sean porked earlier this year at the Food Bank’s Can-Do-Awards Monday: