I don’t know what the hell she’s done to her face, but Kim Kardashian doesn’t even look human anymore. It’s like she’s a Moxie girl come horribly to life. Like Chucky, but with fake tits and lash extensions.
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures, Bauer-Griffin Online
It seems that some people were very offended when Black Eyed Peas bandleader Will.i.am joined Nicki Minaj onstage at the VMA’s pre-show last night with his face painted black. Will.i.am, you’ll note, is already black to begin with. Us Magazine says:
“Will.i.am. wearing blackface!? What a racist!” fakeart123 tweeted.
Adds TSCMoncton, “Anyone notice that Will.i.am painted himself in blackface? I sure hope there’s some kind of meaning behind a stunt like that.”
Blackface — which first gained popularity during the 19th century — typically promotes racist stereotypes toward African Americans.
In addition to his face paint, Will.i.am wore head-to-toe black (including a shiny hair piece in the shape of a side-mohawk).
“Will.i.am just sent us back 1,000 yrs… Really sir, #Blackface in front the grey ppl!” IAm_Danie wrote of his appearance.
Um, once again, Will.i.am is black. He is a BLACK. MAN. Seriously, am I taking crazy pills here? Has the whole goddamn world gone insane?
There were lots of celebrities doing the red carpet thing at the MTV Video Music Awards last night. Like “Twilight’s” Ashley Greene, who looked fantastic. She’s like some kind of sexy present in that dress. And speaking of sexy presents, my birthday is coming up, soooo… if any of you were wondering, this is exactly what I want. But I want the one with the real kung-fu grip. And also any cowgirl/sexy nurse accessories she might come with.
TONS more red carpet pics after the jump:
Katy Perry:
Ke$ha:
Lady Gaga:
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures, Bauer-Griffin Online
Breakout your best firecrotch jokes — Lindsay Lohan has returned to her roots. The Daily Mail says:
Perhaps Lindsay Lohan wanted to wash the past few months right out of her hair.
This morning, the 24-year-old actress stepped out in Los Angeles sporting a brand new strawberry blonde hair do.
Her red hair complemented her green studded hoodie, black leggings and black boots as she visited a court house in the Santa Monica area of Los Angeles to undergo a mandatory drug test.
Seriously, does anybody really give a fuck what color Lindsay Lohan’s stupid hair is? So instead, enjoy this awesome video of some chick getting nailed in the face with a watermelon on “Amazing Race.” The only thing that would make it better is if it were Lindsay Lohan.
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
This picture of Christina Hendricks is from the December 2007 issue of GQ, but it’s just making the rounds today because of a little photoshop anomaly that nobody happened to catch until now. See if you can guess what it is. Hint: it’s not her boobs. They’re there. I checked. And then checked again. Nine MSN says:
Look very closely…
Seriously, where the hell are her legs?
We can only assume that the GQ Photoshop artist was so distracted by certain other areas of Christina Hendricks’ body that they forgot all about the rest of her!
It’s the entire lower half of her body that’s missing, and it only took us three years to catch it. That got me thinking — maybe we should rethink our entire approach to invading the Middle East. Instead of sending in troops to protect our oil interests, we should send in big-tittied double amputees in low cut tops. It’ll be another three years before they’ll even notice we’re there. Now that’s the kind of foreign policy I think we can all get behind! Remember to vote boobies in your November elections.
In the September 2010 issue of British GQ:
Because she’s such a paragon of impeccable taste and effortless style, Jessica Simpson has been announced as the surprise guest judge for the final round of this season’s Project Runway. Us Magazine says:
A beaming Simpson joined host Heidi Klum, and hard-nosed judges Michael Kors and Nina Garcia on the runway in NYC’s Lincoln Center on Thursday for the taping of the season finale’s fashion show.
The star, 30, wore a shimmery Michael Kors frock for the big event.
Simpson debuted her own “Show Me Your Blues” Jeanswear collection on Tuesday.
I think they meant to say “LaGuardia,” not “Lincoln Center,” because they probably had to use a real runway instead of a catwalk this time. When you’re as big as a goddamn 747, you need enough room to taxi and turn yourself around completely. It’s not like she can just change direction without the help of tow and pushback tractors and a couple of guys with waving brightly-colored sticks.
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
Miley Cyrus added to her “love” ear tattoo and “just breathe” rib cage tattoo with an equally-inspired heart tattoo on her pinky finger this week. Maybe nobody told her above-the-knuckle tattoos are usually reserved for the convicted felon and the gang member. At least Joaquin Phoenix had the good sense to do his with a pen. Dumbass.
Dressed like a goth soccer player with her brother Braison:
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
PHOTO CREDIT: Star Magazine
I know there’s been one question that’s been eating at you for weeks now — did Julia Roberts get breast implants? Let’s ask someone who’s never treated her for their expert medical opinion! Star Magazine says:
“It does look like she had a breast augmentation; they look significantly larger now,” observes Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Dr. Stuart A. Linder, who does not treat the actress.
“She was probably a 34A or small B, and now she looks more like a nice, full C cup,” Dr.Linder tells Star. “Her breasts have more projection, and she certainly fills in her bathing suit much, much better.”
Aw, he can’t tell shit from that picture. She might have just gained some weight is all. Her suit might be padded. She might have stayed underground for the last six months, hidden from the sun’s evil rays, and her skin is just reflecting more light back to your eye in some kind of ultra-pale person trompe l’oeil. We’ll have to ask her fellow mole-people next time one of them surfaces. Rumor has it they already made her their queen.
At the “Eat, Pray, Love” premiere:
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was on his way to practice at Gillette Stadium in Boston this morning when he was involved in a serious car accident. Radar Online says:
Eyewitnesses told Boston TV station WHDH that the football star had a green light and the mini-van allegedly ran a red light, leading to the collision.
Officials said that the equipment known as the “jaws of life” was used at the scene on one of the vehicles involved.
Brady — who was described as being shaken, banged-up, and possibly having whiplash — refused to be taken to the hospital, but the driver of the other vehicle, reportedly a mini-van, was taken to the hospital.
Thank goodness he’s okay. I wouldn’t want anything to get in the way of his riding the coattails of his receivers or looking for a flag every time he gets hit. Stomping off the field crying isn’t something they can just teach you in practice, you know.
With wife Gisele and their new baby:
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures, Bauer-Griffin Online
Playboy has forged into uncharted masturbatory territory with a 3D pictorial of World Cup chick Larissa Riquelme. Ooh, 3D. Funny, I thought real girls were already in 3D. Maybe if you spent less time building your badger-human hybrid character’s geomancing powers and modifying your slot cars, you’d find out what it was like to have someone beside you touching your wiener.
Just think how cool you’d look jerking it while wearing a pair of 3D glasses (NSFW):
I bet when Jessica Simpson hauls ass, she has to make two trips. Maybe they should put the Lane Bryant closer to the Häagen-Dazs next time.
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
Halle Berry was caught sucking face with her “Dark Tide” costar and notorious rake Olivier Martinez in his hometown of Paris this weekend. People Magazine says:
The duo spent Sunday afternoon combing through the streets arm in arm, taking in a pit stop at the Paris flea market.
“They had their arms around each other as they walked,” an onlooker [says]. “They were both smiling and laughing Their body language was very flirtatious. They definitely seemed like a couple.”
The two sped off on Martinez’s motorcycle before dining at the intimate Casa Bini restaurant. After dinner, the couple stopped along a narrow street and kissed in a doorway for two minutes, says an onlooker.
I stopped feeling sorry for Halle Berry a long time ago. There are plenty of guys around who would treat her good, but it’s not the professional athlete or the male model or the French model-turned-actor. She sets herself up for heartbreak. Look, if you don’t want to get cut, then don’t play with knives. Or Reese Witherspoon’s chin, for that matter. That thing could slice you open like a damn Ginsu. But I bet it’s great for zesting oranges and other citrus fruits!
Halle in a bikini, just because:
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
