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Carey Mulligan in Flaunt Magazine

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Carey Mulligan is almost unrecognizable in a series of wigs in next month’s Flaunt magazine, where she plays the part of a pilgrim from the future who visits a Tostitos factory in a hat that looks like a giant raspberry. Apparently Tim Burton is designing clothes now.

Gisele Bündchen Replaces Beyoncé as the Face of H&M

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Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bündchen and her umlaut are replacing singer Beyoncé and her accent mark as the new face and diacritical of retail giant H&M (check out Gisele in the June edition of French Vogue in the gallery above). The NY Daily News says:

With a blockbuster campaign for Chanel’s Les Beiges cosmetics line already under her belt, Bündchen has just landed another major deal, as the face of H&M’s Fall-Winter 2013 advertising campaign.

The 32-year-old mother of two has been spotted on-set for the Swedish label in West London wearing a number of looks from the brand’s upcoming collection.

For super trendy stuff that you know you’re only going to wear for a season or two, you can’t beat H&M — it’s cheap and poorly made, but it’s affordable. Which, incidentally, is exactly what it says on Tara Reid’s resume. It’s important to know your your target demographic.

Carey Mulligan in Lanvin at The Great Gatsby Premiere and Other News

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Carey Mullingan at The Great Gatsby Premiere

When in doubt, go with a red dress. It’s number three in my Ten Fashion Commandments, right after “Thou shalt not wear harem pants” and “Thou shalt have no truckers’ hats before me.”

And she looked over the internet, and saw that it was good:

Vanessa Hudgens can balance on one foot, bringing her total number of talents to two. (Moe Jackson)

If you need ideas for Mother’s Day, look no further! (Modavanti)

Lindsay Lohan was seen crying hysterically before going to rehab, then going to rehab, then leaving rehab, then going to a new rehab. Everything with this woman is ten times harder than it has to be. (Celebitchy)

You know you’re lame when even Tara Reid hates you. (Celeb Slam)

The children are STILL not our future, take 4,394. (Huffington Post)

Everyone will be expecting margarrrrritas at your Cinco de Mayo bash, so here’s a handy list of Mexican libations you can serve instead. (Mandatory)

The new Wolverine trailer is out, and I fall in love with Hugh Jackman all over again every time I watch it. (Pajiba)

But I’ll be honest, this video of Ryan Gosling made me reconsider my love for Hugh Jackman for a moment. Fortunately, our love proved strong enough to weather the storm. (Jezebel)

Why couldn’t Aaron Eckhart share a bathroom with Nicole Kidman? I guessed “because he walked in on her in the middle of a colonic,” but I was wrong. (Evil Beet)

And speaking of colonics, Gwyneth Paltrow and Leonardo DiCaprio are supposedly big fans. (BG)

I have had dates that ended exactly like this. Only they weren’t as cute or well-spoken as the otter. (Hollywood Rag)

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Miley Cyrus in V Magazine

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Miley Cyrus’ shoot for V Magazine is one of the most desperate, contrived, awkward, disingenuous attempts at sexy I’ve ever had the misfortune of seeing. Every last shot is cringe-worthy. But my life coach says I need to embrace the positives and look for the good in things, so instead of burning her, I’m supposed to say something nice. And after twenty minutes of staring blankly at the screen, “it looks like she’s finally growing into that face” was the best I could come up with. Personal growth and development take time.

Kim Cattrall at the Oliver Awards and Other News

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Kim Cattrall Olivier Awards

56-year-old Kim Cattrall wore a vintage cobalt blue one-shoulder gown at the Olivier Awards in London earlier this week, and while the color of the dress is fantastic, it’s the only thing about it I like. The one long sleeve looks like a clunky afterthought and all that extra fabric at the bottom makes it look like someone pinned a set of satin drapes on her. Frankly, my dear, Scarlett O’Hara did it better in Gone with the Wind.

As God as my witness, you’ll never go hungry for internet gossip again:

Catherine Zeta-Jones enters a thirty-day treatment for bipolar disorder. (Celebitchy)

Because everybody has a little Pretty in Pink Andie Walsh inside them. (Modavanti)

How NOT to steal gas: the video! (Mandatory)

This seven minutes of Tila Tequila palpating the air is supposed to be proof of her “superhuman ability to create energy balls and shoot sparkles from her fingertips.” Seriously. (Hollywood Rag)

Bar Refaeli might have been fired from Victoria’s Secret, but she’s still modeling bikinis for Instagram. (DS)

Michael Jordan got married, which sounds like the name of a touching comedy-drama set in small-town America. (Daily Stab)

Ryan Seacrest is gay: the vague, inconclusive proof! (BG)

The Backstreet Boys reunite on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, because they haven’t built a Hollywood Walk of Blights of the Music Industry. (Hollywood PQ)

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