A group of spoiled rich teenage girls living in Calabasas were arrested on late last week in connection with the robberies of Lindsay Lohan (here), Paris Hilton (here), Audrina Patridge (here) and Orlando Bloom (here) over the last year. People magazine says
Rachel Lee, 19, Diana Tamayo, 19, Courtney Ames, 18, Alexis Neiers, 18, and Nicholas Prugo, 18, launched into a year-long crime spree in which thousands of dollars of designer clothes, jewelry, bags and other luxury items were taken [from the aforementioned celebrities]. All fingers point to 19-year-old Lee as the alleged ringleader, who had an apparent fascination with Hollywood fashion.
The gang allegedly located the addresses of celebrities using Hollywood star maps and the Internet, and calculated when the stars wouldn’t be home based on their appearance schedules.
Giving the arrests another Hollywood twist, after Neiers posted bail, she was picked up by her sister, Playboy model Tess Taylor, who showed up at the jail early Friday morning with a camera crew in tow. Taylor and Neiers are the subject of a reality show pilot for E!.
My hard-hitting journalistic flair for truth makes it easy to cut through all the “background information” and “facts” in this story and get to what really counts: boobs. Namely, that one chick’s Playboy model sister’s boobs. I can almost smell the Pulitzer from here!
Check out more of Tess naked at Playboy’s Cyber Club (all thumbs NSFW):
Wow, Playboy is really going to the dogs. Your favorite washed up train wreck, wonky-tittied Tara Reid, is reportedly stripping for Playboy! Digital Spy reports,
American Pie actress Tara Reid has allegedly stripped for an upcoming issue of Playboy.
According to reports, the 33-year-old star posed for the cover of the legendary men’s magazine in Santa Monica on October 7.
“She was a bit insecure about her body when they first started,” one source told In Touch Weekly.
“She looked great and finally got into the groove.”
Reid has yet to confirm or deny the claims.
Oh, I get it. It’s for their Halloween issue, right? Right? Please?
The magazine, which appears on newsstands Oct. 16, will feature Simpson in a three-page pictorial that a Playboy spokeswoman described as “sexy” with “implied nudity.” Subscribers, who make up 40 percent of Playboy’s readership, will get a celebrity on the cover rather than Marge.
The Marge Simpson centerfold is “obviously somewhat tongue-in-cheek,” said [the new Playboy CEO]. “It had never been done, and we thought it would be kind of hip, cool and unusual.”
The idea is to attract readers in their 20s — an appealing demographic compared with the average Playboy reader’s age of 35.
As if the last three seasons of “The Simpsons” weren’t proof enough that Matt Groening just doesn’t give a fuck anymore. Thanks for clearing that up for everybody, Matt.
BTW, (NSFW) this is what happened when I googled “Marge Simpson Playboy pics.” I mostly blame you.
Remember when Joe Francis was accused of attacking Playboy Playmate Jayde Nicole at Guys and Dolls back in August? Her lawsuit claimed that Francis assaulted her by “pulling on her hair from behind and violently throwing her to the ground like a rag-doll,” leaving her with a “black-eye, swollen face, bruised ribs, bruised arms and legs, and ripped-out hair.” To which Joe Francis responded
“Jayde Nicole is an absolute and total liar. Her prior statements about the incident are not only slanderous and defamatory, but actionable.
The only thing that Jayde Nicole is famous for is having a tattoo of the word ‘respect’ above her vagina… for which we all know she has none of.”
Yeah, not so much. The security footage from that night clearly shows Francis walking up to Jayde from behind, grabbing a fistful of her hair, then yanking her to the ground and sweeping the floor with her. Exactly like she said. Jesus, Joe Francis is such a faggot. Only vindictive drag queens and women in beer commercials fight like that. I’m surprised his maxipad didn’t fall out in the melee.
One of the leathery old boozebags from the “The Real Housewives of New York City” is about to bear it all in Playboy. I’ll try to contain my squeals of delight. According to Page Six
The magazine is set to publish semi-nude photos of Kelly Bensimon, 40, in its December issue. “It becomes a big deal on the show,” which is currently filming, an insider said. “Kelly is telling everyone that she might be on the cover.”
Word is Kelly’s ex, fashion photographer Gilles Bensimon, took the photos a few years ago. One source said, “They’re sexy, but they won’t set the world on fire.”
No, but you know what WILL set the world on fire? When the outer layers of the sun expand as the hydrogen in the core is consumed during the sun’s stellar evolution into red giant. But that’s not going to happen for another 5 billion years. Maybe by then you’ll actually care that this stupid twat is naked.
Girls Gone Wild douchebag Joe Francis “punched and kicked” Playboy’s 2008 Playmate of the Year Jayde Nicole in an assault at an L.A. nightclub last night. TMZ says
According to [Jayde's boyfriend Brody] Jenner, he and Jayde were at the club celebrating his birthday, when Jayde saw Francis hitting on an ex-girlfriend of his (Francis’), Jenner says “unrelentingly.” Jayde felt he was harassing the woman — whom Jayde and Brody know — and she threw a drink on Francis.
Jenner says Francis then pulled Jayde’s hair, punched her in the face and threw her to the ground and began kicking her. Security broke it up and Francis got dragged away — Brody followed.
Jenner then saw Joe, punched him in the face, and then someone tased him and he fell to the ground. Francis left the scene.
Jayde [says] she will press charges against Francis. Jayde has a black and blue cheek, her face is swollen, she has a bruised left rib and her lower abdomen is sore. Some of her hair also got pulled out.
Wow. Just… wow. Give me a moment to collect my thoughts here. I might need to pace around with my fingers interlocked behind my head. I mean, are we talking about Joe Francis here? The same Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild? Because that Joe Francis is always such a class act. Really, he’s never shown any indication that he has anything other than the utmost respect and admiration for women. This is all just coming straight out of left field.
Have you ever heard of Monet? Cezanne? Van Gogh? Morons. Heidi Montag Pratt’sPlayboy spread makes those look like clumsy fingerpaintings.Digital Spy reports,
Spencer Pratt has claimed that his wife Heidi Montag’s Playboy shoot is “beautiful art”.
The reality TV star spoke out about his partner’s photographs in the adult publication at last week’s G.I. Joe Hollywood premiere.
“[The photos are] beautiful art,” he told Access Hollywood. “Not, like, Picasso art - real beautiful art, you know what I’m saying?
“[Playboy] kind of had a vision… and we brought in Matthew Rolston, who is a very well-known, amazing photographer. So, it’s more art.”
The Hills star poses for the cover in a bikini with the Playboy bunny logo tanned on her stomach.
Speaking about Montag’s figure, Pratt added: “See her powerful curves. They are powerful! It’s an honour. I feel like I did something great, like I should get a trophy!”
Montag’s Playboy issue is published on August 14.
Personally, I’d like to see Heidi’s body abstracted into little bits like Picasso’s women, wouldn’t you?
At the G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra premiere, where for some reason she’s brought along her Playboy. Good god, does she sleep with it under her pillow, too?
Although it’s been rumored that she’s been on her deathbed for weeks, actress Farrah Fawcett was read her last rights Wednesday night. The NY Daily News reports
A priest was summoned [last night] to the Los Angeles hospital where the 62-year-old is being treated.
Those keeping vigil in the intensive care unit included longtime love Ryan O’Neal, who has been with [her] constantly since she was hospitalized two weeks ago.
The actress was diagnosed with [anal] cancer in 2006.
Risk factors for anal cancer include having multiple sex partners, engaging in anal sex and smoking cigarettes, so by all accounts I should have been dead five years ago. I guess I’m what you’d call a “miracle of science.” You have to admit, it sounds a whole lot better than “dirty no-good whore.” My mom doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about.
UPDATE I:People Magazine is reporting that Farrah died at 9:28 a.m. PST this morning at St. John’s Heath Center in Santa Monica. Our condolences to her family.
UPDATE II: Astute reader Helluvadrug pointed out that half of these pictures are actually Bo Derek. In my defense, the pictures are 30 years old and really grainy and I’ve been drinking since 9 a.m. And they still have boobs, so don’t yell at me. I hate it when we fight like this.
UPDATE III: Couldn’t find her 1978 Playboy spread any effing where, so here’s her 1997 Playboy shoot instead. You can still see Bo Derek nekkid after the jump.
I don’t know who Olivia Munn is or what she does per se, but the words near her tits reference the term “G4,” and my vast knowledge of the current political landscape would suggest she’s either a spy for the G4 leadership core of the World Trade Organization’s G20 trade bloc, or else she’s a Serbian G4 Super Galeb pilot-in-training. Either way, it’s pretty clear she poses a real threat to American security. Why else do you think they’d make her strip down and take pictures of her like that? And to think, you commies actually made them shut down Abu Ghraib! I bet you’re thanking George Bushnow, aren’t you?
Back in April, there were reports that Heidi Montag was in negotiations to pose nude for Playboy. It appears that for once in her worthless life, one of the publicity-mongering rumours she started was actually true. From People:
Heidi Montag has gotten a lot of exposure lately – but the newlywed is about to get even more: She has posed for the September issue of Playboy, PEOPLE has confirmed.
The reality star was most recently stirring up drama on I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here, shot in Costa Rica, where she was briefly hospitalized. In April, she married her Hills costar Spencer Pratt.
Details of her Playboy photos are, um, scant: “There is nudity. It’s tasteful – she had a lot of fun with it,” says a second source. A rep for the magazine had no comment, and Montag’s rep was not immediately available to respond to questions.
Whatever. Listen, I know Heidi Montag is gross and plastic and has a really weird chin and looks like she’s mid-seizure every time she makes a “sexy” face, but this could be sooooo much worse. I mean, whoring for money is the only marketable skill Speidi actually has, and just think — it could be Spencer’s creepy platinum nethers going on display. Heidi doesn’t seem so bad, all of a sudden, huh? Maybe that’s the magic of their relationship… Heidi stays with Spencer because he makes her seem almost tolerable in comparison.
Heidi Montag writhing around on the beach in her “Blackout” video:
Kendra Wilkinson and fiance Hank Baskett are expecting their first child. From People:
The Girls Next Door E! reality star told E! News’s Marc Malkin, “Hank and I are thrilled to announce that we are expecting our first child together. We are touched by the outpouring of support by our family, friends and fans.”
In February, Wilkinson, 23, told PEOPLE: “We always talk about [having kids]. He wants kids so [badly], and I do, too.”
Wilkinson even went so far as to tell PEOPLE that she and Baskett, a wide receiver for the Philadelphia Eagles, were already working on names.
“My first initial is K and my middle name is Leigh, so we were thinking of Kaleigh,” she said. “And he’s Hank Baskett III, so of course I’m going to have a Hank Baskett IV!”
Engaged since November, Wilkinson and Baskett, 26, plan to wed June 27 at the Holmby Hills, Calif., mansion of her former boyfriend, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner.
This poor kid has no hope at all of a normal life. I mean, even regular kids are dumb as hell and they do stuff like poop on the floor and lick electrical sockets, but this baby’s parents are both so stupid they’re barely functional. The kid will likely never learn how to talk in whole sentences and will probably spend most of its free time eating bugs and trying to fly. It could have a fantastic career in the circus, though… not everybody would be so willing to climb inside a bear’s mouth and then set their own hair on fire.
At the “Red Tie Affair” Red Cross benefit in Santa Monica in March:
