Jennifer Love Hewitt has jumped on the pole dancing class bandwagon, seen here leaving the Sheila Kelley S Factor class in Encino, CA.  It really seems to be the new trend, doesn’t it? But I was doing it way back in elementary school when I discovered they had installed one in the new playground. I never could figure out what the big fuss was.  If my little boy classmates wanted to spend their lunch money on me, that was their problem, not mine.  School principals are so narrow-minded. They called it “indecent and a disgrace to our fine institution”, I called it crushing my entrepreneurial spirit. Bastards!

Billy Ray Cyrus just doesn’t understand why daughter Miley’s pole dance at the Teen Choice Awards earlier this month was such a big freakin’ deal. It’s just a 16-year old in hot pants squatting around a pole, and besides, if there’s anything Hollywood has taught us, it’s that hypersexualizing teenage girls always has a happy ending. Just ask Britney Spears! He told Us Magazine

“You know what? I just think that Miley loves entertaining people,” he [says] of his 16-year-old daughter, who swirled around a pole attached to an ice cream truck during her performance of “Party in the USA” Aug. 10.

“I always tell her to love what you’re doing and not worry so much about opinion. I give my kids a lot of freedom. I think it’s important.”

Trish and Billy Ray really should’ve named her Fancy instead of Miley. They already put her in a dancin’ dress (okay, dancin’ shorts) and whored her out uptown. “Just be nice to the gentlemen, Fancy, and theyll be nice to you!” It’s almost like Reba McEntire wrote that song just for her.

Whoring out her new Max Azria line for Wal-Mart:

Here’re pictures of Miley Cyrus last night at the Teen Choice Awards, making another great public image move. There’s all sorts of arguments going on about whether she really was using the pole as a dancing prop or just something to keep her balance, but that just sounds stupid. Unless there’s colored ribbon coming out of the top and those trampy backup singers are singing “Here We Go Round the Maypole”, it’s a fucking stripper pole!

I find that asking people if they’d like to see pictures of Brooke Hogan pole dancing is a lot like asking people if they’d like you to pour hot tar into their nostrils. Pretty much a resounding hell no. But find her attractive or not, you still have to admit she’s got that certain “je ne sais quoi ” about her. “Je ne sais quoi ” of course from the French meaning “the affect and constituion of a large ox.” Seriously, I’m surprised she doesn’t have a cart strapped to her back and a ring through her nose in these pictures.

Brooke performing at a Calle Ocho in Miami with her father in the audience: