Jennifer Butler-Murray claimed last week that husband Bill Murray’s violent temper and out-of-control drinking were the impetus for her to sue for divorce, but — strangely enough — Bill isn’t the one the neighbors are calling the cops on. According to a report filed with the Sullivan’s Island Police Department (via The Ny Post):

On March 17 of this year, Butler-Murray allegedly got drunk and two of her kids ran over to a neighbor’s house for help. [The investigating officer wrote, "The children] informed me that their mother had been drinking heavily and had [become] physical with them,” the report said.

The report said Bill Murray was in California at the time.

The real victims in all this are the children. So much fodder for “your momma” jokes and so many, many months in a calendar school year.

_{EDITOR’S NOTE: The woman in the photograph above is NOT Jennifer Butler-Murray. The woman pictured is actually the devil.}

Sam “Piss on Your Dead Mom” Lutfi and Britney Spears had a huge fight last night outside the gates of her Summit home over her relationship with Final Pixx photographer Adnan Ghalib. The public screaming match ended with her storming out of the car and down Muholland Drive barefoot, clutching her rat of a dog and bawling while she called Adnan to come pick her up. OK! Magazine says

Adnan told the pop star to go home and he’d meet her there. He tried to punch in the security code to the gate [when he arrived], but it didn’t work. He then reportedly called the house but Britney didn’t answer. Now OK! has learned that it was Sam who changed the gate code and disconnected the numbers to Britney’s six cell phones and her house phone. Frustrated, Adnan then asked the security guard let him in, but the guard told him he was under strict instructions from Sam not to let Adnan past the gate.

Adnan later told a paparazzi photographer that Sam was sending him threatening text messages, calling him a “manic trigger” and telling him, “If you continue to have any contact with her, you’ll kill her.” At 9:00 p.m., Britney reportedly jumped in her Mercedes and went speeding down Coldwater Canyon Drive with 15 to 20 paparazzi in tow. She abandoned her car in the San Fernando Valley sometime around 10 p.m. and jumped into Adnan’s car.

With TMZ adding:

The LAPD were called to the scene to contain the paparazzi crush that was trying to shoot the fight.

Curiously, a similar incident went down at Seabreeze Vista trailer park in Inglewood last night around ten-thirty p.m. Elwood “T.J.” Thompson, 19, and brothers J.T. and P.J. Rogers were arrested outside a mobile home belonging to Vicky Jo Tanner and Marlene Mayburs, both exotic dancers at T.J.’s Bare ‘N’ Legal Barbeque Buffet. All charges against Thompson were dropped once it was discovered Tanner set the fire herself and was never in fact pregnant. Mayburs and Rogers were arrested for public intoxication and indecent exposure and possession of a controlled substance without a prescription. I swear, it’s almost like Britney’s looking in a goddamn mirror or something!

UPDATE: TMZ is reporting that Britney’s parents and sister all came down to L.A. last night to stage an “intervention” on her behalf. Yep, looks like that went just swimmingly!

Tears of a clown:

The cops, a firetruck, two ambulances and a police helicopter all showed up on the scene last night when a visibly fucked-up Britney Spears refused to hand over the children to Kevin Federline at the appointed time. That means finally — the breakdown is fucking here! Woo! We’re really doing it, aren’t we, Harry? People magazine reports

Britney Spears was rushed to a Los Angeles hospital over night after police were called to her Studio City home. At around 8 p.m. police responded to a call “about a custodial dispute regarding Britney Spears’s children,” said LAPD officer Jason Lee. “While officers were on the scene, they observed Ms. Spears under the influence of an unknown substance,” Lee added. “She is now being taken in for an evaluation, more than likely to a hospital. There were no reported injuries to anyone involved including the children.” At one point, Spears was seen being taken to an ambulance on a gurney.

Ooh, it’s almost like waiting for a big fireworks display to go off! Hmm… well, maybe more like waiting for a tractor trailer full of pigs to overturn on the highway during rush hour. Still exciting, isn’t it? Further bulletins as events warrant!

UPDATE 1: Us Weekly says that Spears was designated a “special needs” patient, meaning “they have either overdosed or tried to commit suicide… we watch them so they don’t hurt themselves and watch the people who come visit them to make sure they don’t pass anything to them.” But a staff member at Cedars-Sinai noted “nobody wanted to be Britney’s monitor last night… we got a call to go have someone sit with her, [but] none of us wanted to.” There were, of course, plenty of volunteers for the bed pan emptying and bed sore draining. Just not for the hanging out with Britney Spears.

UPDATE 2: Another source tells Us Weekly “They had to strap her down like a mental patient and she was going between laughing and hysterics… [it was] a total psychotic breakdown. She just went crazy.”

The crazy unfolds (via the Daily Mail):