Police removed actress Mischa Barton from her Hollywood home yesterday after suffering from what friends describe as an acid flashback “freak out.” According to Us Magazine
“We responded to her home last night on a medical issue,” Officer April Harding tells Us. “We assisted… [and] she was removed from her home.”
A source tells Us Barton called the police herself after having a “freak out.”
Her people are calling it a “medical non-emergency” and implying she left of her own accord, but the fact remains that the officer used the word “removed” in describing her departure from her house. Nothing good ever gets “removed.” You remove a stain or a wart or a hobo from the grill of your car or “The O.C.” from your fall lineup three fucking years ago. Why are we still talking about this bitch again?
UPDATE: According to MSNBC, Mischa is under a 5150 hold — the very same hold used on Britney Spears last year when she went batshit insane — at Cedars-Sinai Hospital in L.A. Ten bucks says she tried to kill herself by overdosing on sad pills. Actors. So fucking predictable!
After being physically “escorted” out of the bathroom at Whisky Mist earlier this month:
Lindsay Lohan had a pretty low-key weekend, first having a warrant issued for her arrest for violating her probation on Friday, then partying until four in the morning and fucking a famous octogenarian on Saturday, and finally coming home Sunday morning to destroy property during a lovers’ quarrels with girlfriend Samantha Ronson. People Magazine says of Friday’s events:
Lindsay Lohan’s attorney says [the arrest warrant] stemming from [Lindsay's] 2007 DUI conviction was “born out of a misunderstanding which I am confident I can clear up next week.”
And of Saturday:
Lohan’s latest legal woe followed a night of partying that included a bizarre late-night visit to the Hollywood home of actor Jack Nicholson. Around 1:45 a.m., Lohan showed up outside actor Nicholson’s house on Mulholland Drive. The group was eventually let in, and Lohan remained inside until a bodyguard picked her up about 4:30 a.m.
And of Sunday:
Lohan’s bodyguard then brought her to Sam Ronson’s house, where Ronson showed up at around 11:30 a.m. Later in the day, a loud disturbance was heard at the house, including the breaking [of a] window. Police cars arrived at the house shortly afterward.
The only true crime in all this is whatever the hell Lindsay did to her lips. Either Sam Ronson punched her square in the mouth during the fight, or Lindsday Loan got an upper lip full of Juvederm. Or maybe eating Sam Ronson’s puss is the equivalent of locking lips with a car battery. How the hell should I know. What am I, psychic?
Election officials have publicly humiliated actor Tim Robbins after it was discovered that his little Election Day tantrum was his own stupid fault. It would seem that Captain America attempted to vote in the wrong polling place, which he might have realized earlier had he actually bothered to vote in any election in the last four years. According to the NY Daily News
Records showed Robbins moved in 2004 and filed a new registration. His proper polling site was in the Andrew Heskell Library on W. 20th St., where Robbins’ name was in the poll book.
“It would appear,” Robbins was informed in a letter from [the] Manhattan election commissioner, “that your voting experience was less than positive because you simply went to the wrong poll site.” The letter noted that Robbins might not have made his mistake had he voted “in any recent election.”
You know, it’s moments like these that reaffirm what I do for a living. Bashing the celebrity emperor and his self-righteous new clothes can be so fulfilling on so many levels. Of course, so can buying a megaphone and using a pig’s heart to paint the words “Tim Robbins is a Twat” on his apartment building front door, but police always seem to want to get involved in that sort of process.
Tim Robbins got his pinko panties in a twist while attempting to vote in New York yesterday afternoon after being informed that his name was not listed on the official register. Rather than just fill out a provisional ballot and cast his vote on paper instead of the machine, Robbins began screaming and accusing poll workers of trying “intimidate him so he wouldn’t vote.” He made such a stink that cops were called to the scene, and eventually resorted to marching into the City Board of Elections to obtain proof that he was in fact registered to vote at that location.
Long boring story short — it took five hours, two cops, and a court order for him to cast his stupid vote. But don’t you dare think it’s all about him. Oh, no. He told MSNBC
“The fact that there’s some kind of attention being paid to me — what should be the real story is there are many like me who did not have the time to do what I did. A lot of people went to their polling places and wound up not being able to vote, or they had to cast affidavit ballots. This is info the poll workers should have had. This didn’t just happen to me, it happened to a significant amount of people.”
[Regarding reports that he caused a ruckus]: “I was non-confrontational … I just asked the polling person, ‘Are you trying to intimidate me to leave because I have a right to vote and right to an explanation if I can’t.’”
Jesus fucking Christ. It’s not like they told him he couldn’t vote. They just told him he had to use a paper ballot. You’d think they’d turned a fire hose on him and held his wife at gunpoint or something. I, on the other hand, show up to vote and get turned away and nobody bats a fucking eye. Oh, so you blow chunks on a voting machine once and you’re suddenly banned for life now? Is that how it goes? Flash your tits at a couple of poll workers and instantly forfeit your rights? Show up with a gun and a megaphone and create a “hostage situation” and “incite a riot” and “assault a police officer” now your vote magically doesn’t count? You want to talk injustice, Tim Robbins, you’ve got my number. And if you don’t, it’s written in a number of bathroom stalls in west Tennessee bars. Call me.
Jennifer Butler-Murrayclaimed last week that husband Bill Murray’s violent temper and out-of-control drinking were the impetus for her to sue for divorce, but — strangely enough — Bill isn’t the one the neighbors are calling the cops on. According to a report filed with the Sullivan’s Island Police Department (via The Ny Post):
On March 17 of this year, Butler-Murray allegedly got drunk and two of her kids ran over to a neighbor’s house for help. [The investigating officer wrote, "The children] informed me that their mother had been drinking heavily and had [become] physical with them,” the report said.
The report said Bill Murray was in California at the time.
The real victims in all this are the children. So much fodder for “your momma” jokes and so many, many months in a calendar school year.
EDITOR’S NOTE: The woman in the photograph above is NOT Jennifer Butler-Murray. The woman pictured is actually the devil.
Sam “Piss on Your Dead Mom” Lutfi and Britney Spears had a huge fight last night outside the gates of her Summit home over her relationship with Final Pixx photographer Adnan Ghalib. The public screaming match ended with her storming out of the car and down Muholland Drive barefoot, clutching her rat of a dog and bawling while she called Adnan to come pick her up. OK! Magazine says
Adnan told the pop star to go home and he’d meet her there. He tried to punch in the security code to the gate [when he arrived], but it didn’t work. He then reportedly called the house but Britney didn’t answer. Now OK! has learned that it was Sam who changed the gate code and disconnected the numbers to Britney’s six cell phones and her house phone. Frustrated, Adnan then asked the security guard let him in, but the guard told him he was under strict instructions from Sam not to let Adnan past the gate.
Adnan later told a paparazzi photographer that Sam was sending him threatening text messages, calling him a “manic trigger” and telling him, “If you continue to have any contact with her, you’ll kill her.” At 9:00 p.m., Britney reportedly jumped in her Mercedes and went speeding down Coldwater Canyon Drive with 15 to 20 paparazzi in tow. She abandoned her car in the San Fernando Valley sometime around 10 p.m. and jumped into Adnan’s car.
The LAPD were called to the scene to contain the paparazzi crush that was trying to shoot the fight.
Curiously, a similar incident went down at Seabreeze Vista trailer park in Inglewood last night around ten-thirty p.m. Elwood “T.J.” Thompson, 19, and brothers J.T. and P.J. Rogers were arrested outside a mobile home belonging to Vicky Jo Tanner and Marlene Mayburs, both exotic dancers at T.J.’s Bare ‘N’ Legal Barbeque Buffet. All charges against Thompson were dropped once it was discovered Tanner set the fire herself and was never in fact pregnant. Mayburs and Rogers were arrested for public intoxication and indecent exposure and possession of a controlled substance without a prescription. I swear, it’s almost like Britney’s looking in a goddamn mirror or something!
UPDATE: TMZ is reporting that Britney’s parents and sister all came down to L.A. last night to stage an “intervention” on her behalf. Yep, looks like that went just swimmingly!
The cops, a firetruck, two ambulances and a police helicopter all showed up on the scene last night when a visibly fucked-up Britney Spears refused to hand over the children to Kevin Federline at the appointed time. That means finally — the breakdown is fucking here! Woo! We’re really doing it, aren’t we, Harry? People magazine reports
Britney Spears was rushed to a Los Angeles hospital over night after police were called to her Studio City home. At around 8 p.m. police responded to a call “about a custodial dispute regarding Britney Spears’s children,” said LAPD officer Jason Lee. “While officers were on the scene, they observed Ms. Spears under the influence of an unknown substance,” Lee added. “She is now being taken in for an evaluation, more than likely to a hospital. There were no reported injuries to anyone involved including the children.” At one point, Spears was seen being taken to an ambulance on a gurney.
Ooh, it’s almost like waiting for a big fireworks display to go off! Hmm… well, maybe more like waiting for a tractor trailer full of pigs to overturn on the highway during rush hour. Still exciting, isn’t it? Further bulletins as events warrant!
UPDATE 1:Us Weekly says that Spears was designated a “special needs” patient, meaning “they have either overdosed or tried to commit suicide… we watch them so they don’t hurt themselves and watch the people who come visit them to make sure they don’t pass anything to them.” But a staff member at Cedars-Sinai noted “nobody wanted to be Britney’s monitor last night… we got a call to go have someone sit with her, [but] none of us wanted to.” There were, of course, plenty of volunteers for the bed pan emptying and bed sore draining. Just not for the hanging out with Britney Spears.
UPDATE 2: Another source tells Us Weekly “They had to strap her down like a mental patient and she was going between laughing and hysterics… [it was] a total psychotic breakdown. She just went crazy.”
