If you have a birthday coming up, I have the perfect thing to make your soiree a success: a cake made in your own conceited likeness! Like the vanilla rum flavored portrait made for Eva Longoria’s 33rd birthday. Star Magazine says

A baker and an artist [from Edda's Cake Designs] worked on the cake for three hours using a photo supplied by Eva’s camp as inspiration.

You know, it might have been a little simpler for Eva to rent a booth with one of those plywood cut-out holes they used to have at old-timey fairs. Then she could just stick her ass through the hole and let all the guests line up and take turns kissing it. Of course, there’d have to be a mirror inside the booth, too, so she’d never have to take her eyes off herself during the gratuitous ass-kissing. Hmmm… maybe it’s a little more complicated than I realized. Well, you can’t go wrong with good old-fashioned kick in the puss and a “I hope you die in a fire, you stupid cooze!” bellowed out of a megaphone. I know it definitely made my grandmother’s 80th birthday an affair to remember.