Dad of less than one year Matthew McConaughey announced yesterday that he is expecting his second child with girlfriend Camila Alves. I guess all that stuff about pot making you sterile is bullshit. He wrote on his official site

“We have more blessed news to celebrate this Father’s Day that [will] make this time next year double the fun. Levi is going to be a big brother… Yeah, we pulled off the greatest miracle in the world one more time, Camila and I are expecting our second child, bringing more life into the world, making more to live for. The future looks bright as the family grows…. just keep livin, Matthew and Camila.”

The “greatest miracle in the world?” Come on. The mice that live in my pantry just pulled off the greatest miracle in the world like 35 times in the last week alone. I’d say the bigger miracle in all this is that “The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” didn’t result in any attempts on his life. Lucky for him, Tennessee gun laws really got in the way of my doing anything about it.

Kendra Wilkinson and fiance Hank Baskett are expecting their first child.  From People:

The Girls Next Door E! reality star told E! News’s Marc Malkin, “Hank and I are thrilled to announce that we are expecting our first child together. We are touched by the outpouring of support by our family, friends and fans.”

In February, Wilkinson, 23, told PEOPLE: “We always talk about [having kids]. He wants kids so [badly], and I do, too.”

Wilkinson even went so far as to tell PEOPLE that she and Baskett, a wide receiver for the Philadelphia Eagles, were already working on names.

“My first initial is K and my middle name is Leigh, so we were thinking of Kaleigh,” she said. “And he’s Hank Baskett III, so of course I’m going to have a Hank Baskett IV!”

Engaged since November, Wilkinson and Baskett, 26, plan to wed June 27 at the Holmby Hills, Calif., mansion of her former boyfriend, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner.

This poor kid has no hope at all of a normal life.  I mean, even regular kids are dumb as hell and they do stuff like poop on the floor and lick electrical sockets, but this baby’s parents are both so stupid they’re barely functional.  The kid will likely never learn how to talk in whole sentences and will probably spend most of its free time eating bugs and trying to fly.  It could have a fantastic career in the circus, though… not everybody would be so willing to climb inside a bear’s mouth and then set their own hair on fire.

At the “Red Tie Affair” Red Cross benefit in Santa Monica in March:

What the hell?  Listen up, Heidi.  I know you’re knocked up again and so you probably had to pull over on your way to this pediatric AIDS benefit event so you could puke up your breakfast on the side of the road and you’re exhausted and your back hurts and all you really want out of life right now is to lie in bed eating popsicles and watching stupid shit like She’s the Man, but you are a SUPERMODEL.  And not just any run-of-the-mill supermodel, either.  You’re goddamn HEIDI KLUM.  These saggy baggy jumpsuit shenanigans are just unacceptable.

At the “A Time For Heroes” carnival to benefit the Pediatric AIDS Foundation:

Victoria’s Secret sexpot Adriana Lima is reportedly pregnant with her first child. Click the header image for a (LSFW, but still pushing it) pretty good idea where the baby will come from. The NY Daily News says

The stunner is nearly three months pregnant, according to a well-placed source. The gorgeous Brazilian… eloped with NBA beau Marko Jaric on Valentine’s Day of this year.

After coming face first out of Adriana Lima’s vagina, I think it’s safe to say that the rest of your life is all gonna be downhill from there. Poor kid.

UPDATE: Adriana’s rep just confirmed the pregnancy rumors.

Some swimsuit pics and backstage at the Victoria’s Secret fashion show:

He’s been linked to two different Oksanas and dozens of other women, but 53-year-old actor Mel Gibson arrived at the new X-Men premiere with Russian composer Oksana Grigorieva on his arm. Oksana is signed to Mel’s recording label Icon and reportedly two months pregnant with his bastard child. According to the Daily Mail

The Mad Max star appeared at the Los Angeles premiere of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, hand-in-hand with new love Oksana Grigorieva. The 39-year-old Russian singer’s appearance with Mel came as surprising given the fact his £640million fortune is at stake in his upcoming divorce battle.

The actor’s attendance at the premiere was unexpected as he rarely attends Hollywood events.

Even more unexpected was that Oksana appeared to have shanghaied Michael Jackson’s nose and Nikki Cox’s lips without either one of them noticing. I’ve seen CPR dummies with more natural features.

See Oksana’s lingerie pics here.

Former American Idol star Jennifer Hudson is reportedly pregnant with her first child. Page Six says

It looks like Jennifer Hudson is going to be a mommy. The star… is said to be expecting her first child with her fiancé, former “I Love New York” contestant David “Punk” Otunga.

It looks like she’s going to be a mommy? I don’t know what the hell that’s supposed to prove. She’s looked like she was going to be a mommy for the past six years now. It’s called “viscera abdominal fat in the peritoneal cavity.” Page Six might want to look into that.

Performing at the WaMu Theater in NYC:

Victoria’s Secret supermodel Heidi Klum is pregnant with child number four. The Daily Mail says

[Klum's husband Seal] confirmed on stage in New York last night that another child was on the way. The proud father said: ‘Heidi and I are having another baby. I mean, Heidi is doing all the work.’

He might look like some kind of giant mole-man who used a pick-ax to put out a fire on his face, but he still gets to get inside Heidi Klum, and you don’t. Saying he’s better than you is like saying a Lamborghini Murcielagoi is better than the unicycle with a bent rim you found stuffed in the dumpster after the carnies left town.

Obligatory family photos:

Oldie but goodie Arena Magazine outtakes:

NSFW artsy nudes:

Amy Winehouse’s estranged husband Blake Fielder Civil reportedly impregnated the stunning beauty seen above while the two were in rehab for heroin addiction. The Daily Mail says

Gillian Morris, 31, told the News of the World that Blake seduced her at the Phoenix Futures Rehab Centre in Sheffield and “we had a secret fling.”

The mother-of-two, who was undergoing treatment for heroin addiction, said he was shocked when he found out but he “has vowed to stand by me and raise the child” and she is now planning to keep the child, [adding] “I was surprised how supportive he was. I don’t think he’d say he’ll stand by me if he didn’t mean it.”

Oh, I’m sure he meant it. Really, if there’s one person in the world whose word you can definitely trust, it’s a married man with a crippling opiate addiction who’s sticking it to you in the janitor’s closet at the court-ordered rehab center you’re both attending. I’m pretty sure they even use Blake’s porkpie hat during swearing-in ceremonies when they’re running short on Bibles.

Amy terrorizing local kiddies in St. Lucia:

Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. are expecting, according to People:

Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. are expecting their first child together, a source close to the couple confirms exclusively to PEOPLE. “They’re very excited,” says the source, adding that the actress, 31, is due in the fall.

Gellar, who has been married to Prinze, 33, for six years, will next shoot the HBO pilot The Wonderful Maladays, for which she serves as an executive producer. Prinze recently shot the comedy pilot No Heroics for ABC.

You know, I willingly watched the first of those Scooby Doo movies, but I was drunk as anything at the time and I still thought it was godawful.  And while I liked “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” a lot, let’s face it, Sarah Michelle Gellar hasn’t really mattered in at least five years.  I don’t think Freddie Prinze, Jr. ever mattered at all.  It’s great and whatnot that these two seemingly happy campers are spawning, but unless this thing is a girl and someday ends up being cast as the new Slayer (and doesn’t fuck it up), then I couldn’t really care less.

I do, however, have this to add:

Buffy: Did Mr. Whitmore notice I was tardy?

Xander: I think the word you’re searching for is absent.

Willow: Tardy people show. And yes, he did notice, so he wanted me to give you this. [hands Buffy an egg]

Buffy: As far as punishments go, this is fairly abstract.

Willow: No, it’s your baby!

Buffy: Okay, I get it even less.

Xander: You know it’s the whole sex leads to responsibility thing, which I personally don’t get. You gotta take care of the egg, it’s a baby. You gotta keep it safe and teach it Christian values.

Willow: My egg is Jewish.

Xander: Then teach it that dreidel song.

Adult film star Jenna Jameson gave birth Monday morning to twin boys. Us Weekly says

Being able to give birth to two healthy babies is joyful for Jameson, a self-proclaimed devout Catholic. “It was all in God’s plan,” she told Us two years ago.

You remember God’s plan. It’s in the Bible. Right under “thou shalt not do black guys, neither do you anal” and “remember the wiener and keep it lubricated.”

Vintage mommy:

I’m back, bitches! That’s right — your beloved Abby is behind the wheel again, bigger and better than ever. Not that I was all that good before, really. It’s all relative. Just like date night at Miley Cyrus’ house. Zing!

Anyway, in super boring you’re-telling-me-they-actually-have-sex news, Nicole Richie is pregnant again. Joel Madden wrote on Good Charlotte’s website

I am so happy to tell everyone that Harlow is going to be a big sister! God has truly blessed my family. Hope your all feeling as good as i am right now………

You know, they never actually come out and say which one of them is pregnant, but I’m pretty sure it’s Nicole. From what I remember from health class, being a gigantic vagina isn’t enough to actually gestate a fetus. You really needs womb for that.

At the Art of Elysium’s 2nd Annual Black Tie Charity Gala:

Admist all the talk about her being pregnant, Kate Moss has come out and said that she is NOT pregnant, but has only put on a few pounds. The Sun reports,

The model, 35, who was rumoured to be due in August, said she was wearing bras for the first time.

But she feared her boyfriend, The Kills rocker Jamie Hince, 39, might not like her new B-cup shape.

Kate said: “Even my friends are phoning me up and saying, ‘Are you pregnant?’

“No! I just put on a couple of pounds and they went in the right place. Isn’t it weird?”

The mum of one, who is launching a range of undies for Topshop, added: “It’s great timing for my lingerie collection. I am a woman now.

“My boyfriend might not like them. I’m a bit worried.”

Bigger boobs, ay? So is she growing a third boob in her abdomen? She and Lily Allen and her third nipple should go and join the circus together. I have no idea to believe anymore. I think it’s a bit strange that she’d be talking to the media about her boobs being bigger and not knowing if her boyfriend would like them or not. And what’s up with that? Is he one of those sick bastards who’s into women who have the bodies of 12 year old boys or what, and now won’t be into her now that she’s “a woman”?

Kate and her boob triadsharing a pantsuit in London: