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It seems to be physically impossible for David Arquette to shut his stupid piehole about his and Courtney Cox’s “trial” separation, because he phoned into Howard Stern’s radio show for a second time yesterday to tell the world that they didn’t have a prenup and that he cried after having sex with another woman. The Daily Mail says:

Arquette [revealed that] the couple didn’t have a prenuptial agreement, meaning Arquette could get half of Cox’s fortune, which he said is worth around $100 million dollars.

The actor [also] revealed that he slept with a blond Australian he met at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. He went on to claim that it wasn’t a great or satisfying experience, explaining it lacked “that emotional love that I always had with Court.”

“After the first girl I slept with… a few days later, I was, like, crying,” he confessed. “It was the end of all the intimacy I shared with my wife. It was like a new thing. It was like… putting that away.”

I don’t understand all the hullabaloo. So he cried after sex. Big deal! I always cry after sex. And usually during. And then again when I’m in the shower scouring my genitals with Pinesol and reciting I Corinthians 6 verses 18-20.

Not only does Larry King NOT have a prenup with estranged wife Shawn Southwick, he also signed away the rights to his Beverly Hills mansion and two homes in Utah five years ago (that would be the first time Shawn accused him of boning her sister). TMZ says of the non-existent prenup:

Sources tell us Larry — who was married 7 times before tying the knot with Shawn — did not demand a prenup. As one source close to the situation [said], “She is a tall, good-looking blonde and that pretty much explains it.”

In California, earnings accumulated during a marriage are split 50/50. Larry’s net worth is reportedly estimated at $144 million.

And of the homes he signed over to his estranged wife:

Several years ago Shawn accused Larry of having an affair with her sister, Shannon Engemann. Shawn threatened to leak the story to the media unless Larry signed a document giving up his interest in their Beverly Hills estate, along with two other homes in Utah.

Larry took the document to his attorney, who ordered him not to sign it. Larry [then] went to Shawn’s lawyer, and that attorney eventually gave Larry the green light to sign the agreement.

Larry will try to undo the agreement in divorce court [by claiming] “undue influence” — that Shawn bullied Larry into sitting down with a former partner of her lawyer who told him it was okay to sign the agreement.

When Larry asked his lawyers what legal position he should take regarding undue influence, his attorneys reportedly said, “bent over with your ass cheeks spread, you dumbass.” They were married for thirteen years. Dude is completely fucked.

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Everyone’s speculating on the state of Tiger Woods’ marriage (there’s even a site where you can bet on how long it lasts), but I can personally guarantee you Elin Nordegren isn’t going anywhere. Not for five more years, anyway. According to Us Weekly

The reason Nordegren isn’t leaving her 33-year-old pro golfer husband [is the] “hefty seven-figure amount” of money promised to her if she stays.

The couple have been married five years, and according to their current agreement, they need to remain married for 10 years in order for Nordegren to collect a divorce settlement of $20 million.

[But per her demands], the updated prenup would likely be revised with a shortened marriage timeframe and a higher dollar amount.

Isn’t putting a price tag on love was considered prostitution by most courts of law? That’s how the arresting officer explained it to me, anyway. Bastards.

UPDATE: The Daily Beast is reporting that Elin will be awarded $80 million if she sticks it out with Tiger for another 7 years. Given that figure, you could do the math and you’d realize that Tiger spent $26.5 million a piece on each of the three women he banged. $26.5 million. Talk about overpaying! I have a hunch he could’ve had that Jaimee Grubbs chick for fourteen bucks and a case of Schlitz Malt Liquor.

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