A behind-the-scenes video of the 2008 pilot for the never-picked-up puppet show created by rapper Rhymefest, Kanye West and the guy who produced “Crank Yankers” found its way online today, and it’s instantly apparent why Comedy Central passed. The only thing it had going for it was a guest appearance by Kim Kardashian in a Princess Leia slave costume, but even that’s disappointing. She just looks lumpy and disgusting. She’d have made a much more convincing Jabba with only half as much makeup.

Former “America’s Next Top Model” winner Adrianne Curry was reportedly groped by a drunk guy outside of a Star Wars convention over the weekend. See if you can guess what she was wearing. Hint: it wasn’t a Bib Fortuna costume! TMZ says:

Curry called police around 3:00 AM on Sunday to report the incident that allegedly went down in front of the hotel where the Star Wars expo was going down.

The officer who arrived claims he “came in contact with the male as he lay in the bushes at the entrance to the hotel.”

[A witness] said the suspect “attempted several times to fight several other people as they stood outside waiting to be picked up for the Star Wars convention.”

The man was eventually arrested for disorderly intoxication.

Curry later Tweeted, “cops are here..molesting pervert drunk in the back of their car…going to bed … i cannot believe last night happened….love starwars…but ready to leave.”

Of course she was pissed. The guy did it all wrong. You don’t just beeline straight for the puss like a damn Tusken Raider on a krayt dragon. You’re supposed to run your tongue over your lips and say, “Soon you will learn to appreciate me” in guttural Huttese and laugh menacingly. Fucking amateurs!

Because her entire career is bantha poodoo:

Lingerie model Kelly Brook pays homage to some of the film industry’s most famous bikini scenes in a sexy photo shoot for Total Film magazine. She does Raquel Welch in “One Million Years B.C.,” Brigitte Bardot in “A Very Private Affair,” Sophia Loren in “The Millionairess,” and of course, everyone’s favorite Huttese sex slave Princess Leia in “Return of the Jedi.” Don’t get me wrong — Kelly Brook is absolutely gorgeous — but sometimes you just can’t improve on the original. The only way you’re gonna make those scenes better is reshooting them in anatomically correct 3D.

What I wanna know is, what’s Huttese for “boobies?” I checked my Tattooine pocket dictionary and couldn’t find it anywhere. All I could find was a list of informal greetings and like seven different terms for the word “virgin.” Frankly, that doesn’t help me here at all.

Adrianne Curry using the force at Comic-Con (via Twitter):