Lindsay Lohan continued her oh-so-subtle promotion of the smokeless tobacco product Arriva yesterday by walking around with the box strategically placed to reveal the brand name. Hard up for cash after a string of flops and multiple trips to rehab, the Firecrotch has resorted to paparazzi-centered product placement to earn her coke money. I can’t imagine Arriva will see any real increase in sales, though, considering when she’s not playing billboard whore, she’s usually smoking cigarettes or putting out cigarettes or lighting cigarettes. It’d really make more sense to try to secure a spot as the unofficial face of Lifestyles brand condoms or RU-486. Now that the public could probably swallow. Pun intended!

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Lindsay Lohan isn’t just a whore in the literal sense of the word; she’s also famous for shamelessly staging photo ops to earn a quick buck. Like here, where she’s carting around a package of Arriva smokeless tobacco, just like she’s coincidentally been photographed doing all week long. Smokeless fucking tobacco. That sounds like something you might buy at Chimney Rock, along with a couple of backup wagon axles and maybe another ox, but then you get dystentery and cholera and lose most of your supplies in the Columbia River. Yep, that damn Oregon Trail will fuck you every time. That’s why I mostly stick with Carmen Sandiego and Dig Dug.