Kelly Brook’s boobs are slated to be a presenter at the “Heels That Heal” charity auction next month. The Daily Mail says

Kylie Minogue is selling her Giuseppe Zanotti heels, Cheryl Cole her fuchsia Rupert Sanderson pumps, Leona Lewis her Stella McCartney strappy sandals and Davina McCall her Carvella platform wedges [in the hopes of raising over] $1 million to fund research into women’s issues.

And judging from these pictures, “women’s issues” mostly entail things like “attempting to breathe after shoehorning your tits into a latex dress” and “not choking on your hair extensions when they crank up the wind machine to ‘full-force gale.’” I hope one million is enough to cover it.

Vintage Ralph Lauren modeling pics:

You know how I always said that Megan Fox should shut her damn trap already and just stuff a sandwich in that stupid cock-holster of hers? Um, I just changed my mind. Gross.

Filming a SNL promo (video of which you can watch after the jump) with Andy Samberg:

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Megan Fox loved getting her lezzie on with costar Amanda Seyfried in the new Diablo Cody movie “Jennifer’s Body,” but Amanda was obviously intimidated by making out with someone so unbelievably hot and rife with raw insecurity sexuality. At least that’s the way Megan saw it. She told Us Magazine

“I felt more comfortable kissing [Amanda] in the movie than kissing any of the other people that I had to kiss. [But] I think she was extremely uncomfortable. I don’t think that — I know that. She was not comfortable and there was a lot of laughing — like, giggling fits that happened in between takes.

[But] I’m pretty sexy in it.”

Because God forbid anybody think anyone other than Megan Fox is sexy in this movie. Especially not Amanda Seyfried. Only Megan can be confident in her sexuality! That’s kind of her schtick, you know? So is being insipid, over-compensatory and one-dimensional — and I’m not just talking about Diablo Cody’s screenplay! Ba-dum chish!*

^{* That’s TWO in one day! I better go lay down now before I hurt myself.}

Even more Jennifer’s Body stills:

Q: What do Polacks call toilet seat protectors?
A: Bibs

Q: How can you tell if your Cosmo is Polish?
A: It’s got Megan Fox on the cover but only one picture of her in it… and it’s in Braille.

In Polish Cosmo (first thumb); the rest are HQ stills from “Jennifer’s Body”:

Now you, too, can have that Chernobyl glow, thanks to Lindsay Lohan’s new line of self-tanner “Sevin Nyne.” People Magazine says

“I have tried every product on the market and never found something that I loved [until I met spray tanner Lorit Simon]. She had an amazing tanning formula that over the years we continued to perfect,” Lindsay reveals of the partnership. “It was important to me to have a natural product that didn’t have a lot of dyes and chemicals. Our product has goji berry extract which has antioxidant properties, it has a natural golden color, it doesn’t streak and smells delicious — not like a typical tanning product.”

The $35 spray will become available exclusively in Sephora stores on the first of May — with an early web launch on Sephora.com on April 15.

And, judging from the promo ads, it also erases freckles while broadening your jaw line! I’m sure it also works as a long-lasting penile numbing agent to prolong sexual encounters, and when huffed, produces a buzz similar to that of inhaling VCR head cleaner. Lindsay Lohan’s not going to just put her name on anything, you know. It has to be a product she can stand behind. Or at least get in front of on all fours.