Paris Hilton put on her best Village People-themed leatherwear for a birthday performance with the Pussycat Dolls in Vegas over the weekend. Birthday party number three for the heiress included such hits as “Paris ripping off (NSFW) Dita von Teese” and “More wonky eye than you could shake a dick at.” If you weren’t lucky enough to be in the crowd at Pure Sunday night, just imagine you gave a Clydesdale a barium enema, put him in two-inch stilettos and a leather hat and instructed him to dance without emptying his bowels all over the floor. It’s almost like you were right there in the front row!

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