Don’t you hate it when you eat something and it all goes to your mons pubis? Ask Naomi Watts. Okay, it’s not that bad, I was just happy to find an opportunity to use the word mons pubis. It makes me feel so educated. I feel like I should be wearing a monacle and twirling my mustache.  I have neglected to wax it for quite a while.

In Barbados with the fam:

I have a pressing question: What sort of undergarments should you wear under a sheer dress? If you’re ex-Disney star Adrienne Bailon, the answer is absolutely-fucking-nothing. Brilliant! Daily Mail reports,

Adrienne Bailon, a former member of the Disney franchise The Cheetah Girls,

did a full-frontal-flash after arriving to an NYC event in a sheer dress without underwear.

Bailon, 28 year-old former ex-girlfriend of reality star Rob Kardashian, exposed both her private parts and much of her derriere in a barely-there frock to the Escape to Total Rewards event.

A strategically placed piece of poufy, beige fabric blew in the breeze, giving gawkers an X-rated view of the singer’s pubic area.

The pop starlet was reportedly “red-faced” when she realized she’d shown more than she meant to, according to the Daily Mail.

Oh horseshit. No one wears a sheer dress with no underwear with a little bit of poufy fabric hanging over your freshly-shorn puss (what a co-inky-dink!) if you’re not cruising for some indecent exposure. When I speed in my car naked from the waist down, I know exactly what I’m doing. What can I say, I have a thing for being cuffed by policemen.

The last two thumbs are NSF:

MediaTakeOut got their hands on some pics that Kanye West’s D-list former girlfriend Amber Rose took of herself elbow-deep in her own puss (thumbs below) and then sent to some guy whose girlfriend found them and released them online. They’ve pixilated her lady bits, but you can still get the gist of the story: naked girl has hand, hand finds naked girl’s vagina, meaningful self-discovery ensues. It’s a tale as old as time itself, a story for the ages. I’m already working on a script.

Edited, but still NSFW:

The interwebs are exploding this morning (and by that I mean a bunch of unemployed 40-something-year-olds who spend all their time looking for nude celebrity pictures are all simultaneously masturbating) to new nude pictures of Vanessa Hudgens. I, of course, am excluded from the pathetic rabble in their perverted exultation. I post these pictures purely to comment on the sad state of today’s youth and their need for exhibition. That being said, you can count on me to post the uncensored pictures when they become available. I’ve been combing the internet for them since the wee hours of the morning.

Also seen kissing Nickelodeon star Alexa Nikolas. It seems the Disney whore factor is catching:

Faggot extraordinaire Perez Hilton posted a picture of a panty-less Miley Cyrus exposing her crotch as she stepped out of a car on his Twitter yesterday, saying:

“If you are easily offended, do NOT click here http://i46.tinypic.com/2zre4pv.jpg Oh, Miley! Warning: truly not for the easily offended!”

And by “the easily offended,” I assume he meant “the police,” because Miley Cyrus is only 17 years old, which would make pictures of her vagina very illegal under current child pornography laws. Except, upon further investigation, she actually IS wearing underpants. The dress she’s wearing is white, and you can totally see the outline of her knickers through the material (I took the liberty of circling it for you in the photos below). And just like that, the chance for Perez Hilton to spend the next six months in prison slips through the fingers of the American justice system like so many handfuls of Astroglide. I guess we’ll have to settle for him living inside the prison that is his own heart, just like the retard in “Sling Blade.”

Naomi Campbell did her best Britney Spears impression as she danced it up underpants-less in a St. Tropez nightclub with boyfriend Vladimir Doronin, flashing her snatch for all the waiting paparazzi to see. Although I can’t say for sure that’s her vagina. It could be a charcoal briquette next to a piece of bacon fat or maybe just part of her left teste. Only Naomi’s gynecologist knows for sure!

Most of these (including the super closeups I made just for you) are NSFW:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin