Terry Richardson drinks tampon tea. You don’t even want to know. Well… yes you do. (CelebNewsWire)

The best celebrity ass compilation ever! (Caveman Circus)

Heidi Montag stole Mickey Mouse’s pants. (Celebrity Odor)

Brooke Hogan is why the word “cankles” was invented. (The Grumpiest)

Are Coco and Ice-T swingers? All signs point to yes! (CityRag)

A Basic Instinct reunion: see how gravity always wins. (Seriously? OMG)

If you’re still conscious when you walk out of the trash humping experience, the only thought your mind will be able to hold is this: “What the fuck just happened?” Kinda like your freshman year. (Pajiba)

It’s a thunder-thigh-off: Beyonce joins Alicia Keys onstage! (Moe Jackson)

Sarah Jessica Parker might be ugly as sin, but damn if she doesn’t have nice legs. (Hollywood Rag)

Heidi Montag fires her psychic manager. But he already saw that coming, right? (Litely Salted)

Behind the scenes at Kim Kardashian’s 2011 calendar shoot! (Anything Hollywood)

And speak of Kim, here she is wrapped in 47 yards of purple ace bandages. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Lady Gaga gets sued for $35 million by an ex-boyfriend. (Holy Moly)

Katherine Heigl’s dress breaks in the middle of her award acceptance speech! Even her clothes fucking hate her. (Bricks and Stones)

Robert Pattinson can’t hold his liquor. Pussy! (Allie is Wired)

Hayden Panettiere’s sexiest outtakes. (Glamzilla)

Eva Mendes suffers and embarrassing wardrobe malfunction. (Glamcrunch)

Hugh Hefner’s latest piece of ass is only slighter hotter than the Ikki twins. (The Dirty)

Want to see Michelle “Bombshell” McGee topless? Of course you do! Here you go. (CelebSlam)

Pam Anderson continues making the case for photoshop. (The Blemish)

Taylor Momsen actually looks kinda hot on the cover of Most Wanted magazine. (Moe Jackson)

The MILF-iest MILF who’s ever MILF-ed: Stephanie Seymour in a bikini. (Hollywood Rag)

Michelle Branch flashes her tramp stamp. (UseMyComputer)

Kristen Stewart goes braless at The Runaways premiere. (Holy Moly)

In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, Holly Madison’s cleavage. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

So Britney Spears and Jason Trawick didn’t break up? Because here they are shopping together at Party City. (Socialite Life)

Demi Moore looking beautiful on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar. (popbytes)

Kat von D is a redhead now! Eat your heart out, Jessica Rabbit. (CelebSmack)

Miley Cyrus quits this bitch. (Litely Salted)

Porn star Joslyn James releases more of Tiger’s sex texts to the media. (CelebJihad)

Marisa Miller’s armpit, or an emergency backup vagina? You decide. (The Dirty)

Angelina and Johnny Depp take a boat ride in Venice — but Johnny’s smiling and you can’t see Angie’s head. I’ll let you do the math on that one. (Hollywood Rag)

All aboard the crazy train — Britney Spears has broken up with her sane and stabilizing boyfriend. (Celebitchy)

Anne Hathaway should never, ever, EVER go au naturel. The end. (UseMyComputer)

Candice Swanepoel does Esquire’s 50 Songs You Must Masturbate Listen to Before You Die. (Moe Jackson)

For my ass connoisseurs, meet Jamie Koeppe — fitness model and ass extraordinaire. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Meet the woman now accused of breaking up Kate Winslet’s marriage. (Holy Moly)

Michael Lohan must have a heart after all, because it attacked itself yesterday afternoon. (Socialite Life)

Rose McGowan is still alive. And still looking like she escaped a burn unit. (Derek Hail)

Nicole Sullivan looks like absolute shit now that she’s lost thirty pounds. It’s like an alien and a praying mantis were spliced together with a truck stop prostitute. (LitelySalted)

Ha ha — CSI’s Gary Dourdan got his ass beat by a girl! (TMZ)

If you’re a Twilight Zone fan, you’ll like this clip, even though it’s got Jude Law in it. (Celebrity Odor)

Shia LeBeouf on the cover of GQ. (Right Celebrity)

Fratboys strip for Ke$ha: the video. (OMG Blog)

BREAKING NEWS: Tiger Woods will make his triumphant return to golf at the Masters next month. Excuse me while I weep tears of who-gives-a-shit. (NY Daily News)

Mark Walhlberg’s six-pack has gone the way of the dodo. (Hollywood PQ)

Katie Price launches an “edible toddler makeup” line. Time to stock your unmarked white vans, pederasts! (Holy Moly)

Celebrity catfight: Justin Bieber vs Nick Jonas! (CelebJihad)

Meet Donna Simpson, the lady who’s voluntarily eating herself into “The World’s Fattest Woman.” (Celebrity Smack)

Brooke Burke’s hair looks like an extra from a Poison video. (CelebSlam)

“Modern Family’s” Sarah Hyland does the whole “frolicking on the beach in Hawaii” thing so popular with celebs these days. (The Blemish)

Why is Jessica Simpson dressed like Zach Galifianakis in “The Hangover?” (CityRag)

Francia Raisa went rollerblading, and I’ll guaran-damn-tee it’ll be the best thing you’ll see all day. (Moe Jackson)

She wears short skirts… Taylor Swift wears granny panties. Song’s not so catchy that way, is it? (CelebNewsWire)

Jessica Simpson finally manages to pick out a dress that doesn’t make her look like a defensive end. (Hollywood Rag)

Mischa Barton looks like a hippie on a bad acid trip. (UseMyComputer)

David Beckham is out of the World Cup with a serious injury! And no, it has nothing to do with his hair. (Socialite Life)

British glamour model Rosie Jones shows us the goods. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Ha ha ha — Spencer Pratt kicked off “The Hills!” Only he claims he quit to fight cyber terrorism. Riii-ight. (Litely Salted)

“She’s Out of My League” could have been fished right out of a first year film student’s crapper. (Pajiba)

DWTS’ Cheryl Burke shows off her bikini bod. (UseMyComputer)

Lisa Marie Presley is eating herself to death! (CelebSlam)

Why are Kim Kardashian and Jay Leno flashing Scissor Gang Mafia signs? (The Dirty)

You’ve seen Alice Eve in Maxim — now see her topless. (Egotastic)

Here’s one you know Sesame Street did not approve — Elmo cops a feel on Aubrey O’Day. (Moe Jackson)

Ever wonder what a Japanese rhythmic gymnastics fetish video would look like? Well, wonder no more, sicko. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Lindsay Bloat-han. Ugh. She looks like she’s been shotgunning soy sauce for two weeks straight. (Hollywood Rag)

Sad news this morning — “Airplane’s” Peter Graves has died. (Seriously? OMG)

Can you guess the one celebrity Madonna banned Jesus from hanging out with? And I just ended a sentence with TWO prepositions. Suck on that, 7th grade English! (Celebitchy)

Super-sexy Kelly Landry bikini pictures. (The Grumpiest)

Willy Wonka as re-imagined by Christopher Walken and Jack Nicholson. (Celebrity Odor)

Jessica Simpson says she doesn’t brush her teeth. Gross. (Litely Salted)

Paris Hilton sunbathing topless: the photos. (Gone Hollywood)

Dog handlers at the Crufts Dog Show busted putting lipstick and eyeliner on their dogs! (Post Chronicle)

Lenny Kravitz’ daughter is HOT> (Moe Jackson)

Elizabeth Hurley and bikinis. A match made in masturbatory heaven. (Hollywood Rag)

Lindsay Lohan sticks it to the fashion world. (Holy Moly)

Marie Claude Bourbonnais is a Candaian fetish model, eh? (Dirty Rotten Whore)

The Brangelina twins are walking! (Socialite Life)

What naughty word does Amanda Seyfried have tattooed on her foot? Hint: it’s another word for vagina. (CelebNewsWire)

The Top Ten Best Nude Scenes by an Academy Award Winner. (Mr. Skin)

Counting down until someone photoshops a penis into Adriana Lima’s mouth in 3, 2, 1… (UseMyComputer)

Shania Twain is see-through — with pokies! (Glamzilla)

Joe Jonas can NOT wear skinny jeans. Ever. (Lainey Gossip)

Katherine Heigl doesn’t return to the Grey’s Anatomy set! (The Blemish)

Pictures of Justin Timberlake cheating on Jessica Biel! (CelebSlam)

Whitney Port in a bikini, the only time she’s tolerable. (The Grumpiest)

E!’s Giuliana Rancic dazzles at the Oscars. (UseMyComputer)

Jennifer Love Hewitt will play a prostitute in her next movie. (Hollywood Rag)

Betty White is hosting the May 8th episode of SNL! (Socialite Life)

Jamie Jungers wins 75 grand for having fucked Tiger Woods. Why do I keep missing the gravy train? (Holy Moly)

I’m sure there’s a perfectly good reason Maggie Gyllenhaal is pulling her top down for all to see. (Moe Jackson)

Mario Lopez took enough time between between self-tanning and flexing in front of a mirror to actually impregnate someone. (Wonderwall)

Heidi fires her husband as manager! Is this the beginning of the end of Speidi? Let’s fucking hope so. (Litely Salted)

Why does Marion Cotillard have a pair of tits on her forehead? And more importantly, where can I get some? (Hollywood PQ)

You might not know who Belen Rodriguez, but after seeing these pics of her in a thong bikini, your penis will thank you anyway. Trust. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” is cool to look at, but it’s got no soul. Kinda like Kim Kardashian. (Pajiba)

See the dirty pics that got city councilman Scott Janke fired. (The Dirty)

Olivia Wilde looks sexy as hell in the new Tron trailer. (Celebrity Odor)

Conan O’Brien’s going on tour, and here are the dates! (Celebrity Smack)

Ben Roethlisberger claimes HE was sexually assaulted! (Celeb Jihad)

Angelina Jolie’s nanny spills all the dirt on her covert plastic surgery. (Celebitchy)

Jimmy Fallon trips and falls and slices his hand open — and you can watch it all on video. (Socialite Life)

Eva Longoria shows a little pink. (UseMyComputer)

Kelly Brooks’ ass makes its Wednesday debut! (Holy Moly)

Dax Shepard naked minigolf: four words that should never be used in the same sentence. (Seriously? OMG)

Letterman’s extortionist pleads guilty and gets six months in jail. (Daily Stab)

Adriana Lima lives! And here she is in Paris, looking gorgeous. (Moe Jackson)

Why is Karl Lagerfeld sucking face with Johnny Depp’s wife? (Hollywood Rag)

Reason #3792 that Bill Murray is awesome. (Agent Bedhead)

Pamela Anderson promotes her new fragrance… at Sears. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. And then wallowed in their own vomit. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Tila Tequila is going on a suing-rampage. (Litely Salted)

The Twilight preview trailer is out! Squeal! (The Blemish)

Luke Wilson got FAAA-AAAT. (CelebSlam)

Katherine Heigl is brunette now, and even less likable than before, if that’s possible. (Right Celebrity

Jack from “Will and Grace” finally comes out of the closet. (Hollywood PQ)

Roger Ebert makes a rare public appearance since losing losing the entire bottom half of his face to cancer. (Moe Jackson)

When did Michelle Rodriguez get the killer rack? (Hollywood Rag)

Natalie Portman looking beautiful as always at the Vanity Fair Oscar party. (UseMyComputer)

Maria Menounos drops some serious cleavage on the red carpet. (Popoholic)

The Ikki twins are infinitely hotter now that they’ve dumped Hugh Hefner. (Right Celebrity)

Heidi Klum might be smokin hot, but you’d never know it from these pictures. (The Grumpiest)

First stills from “The Bachelor’s” Rozlyn Papa’s sex tape! (The Dirty)

Jessica Alba in bed with a come-hither smile… (Dirty Rotten Whore)

All the 82nd Annual Academy Award nipslips you might have missed. (City Rag)

L’il Wayne begins his year in jail today. (Holy Moly)

Heidi Montag’s Funny or Die video isn’t funny and she doesn’t die. Frankly, I feel a little shortchanged. (Litely Salted)

Amber Rose can wear clothes that cover more than her nipples and genitals. Who knew? (Celeb Smack)

Beth Ditto looks like a clown corpse that’s suffering severe post-mortem bloat. Yikes. (popbytes)

VS model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley naked for Purple magazine. (CelebNewsWire)

Gerard Butler and Gabby Sidibe? Excuse me while I gouge out my mind’s eye. (The Fab Life)

Holly Madison hosts the Adriana Fernadez bikini launch, and — surprise! — they’re all in bikinis. (Moe Jackson)

No way that’s Christina Ricci. (Socialite Life)

Christina Hendricks deserves an Oscar for her amazing rack display. (UseMyComputer)

Miley Cyrus’ mom, or down-on-her-luck dayshift stripper? Only her stylist knows for sure. (Hollywood Rag)

Leighton shows some leg. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Find out what Ryan O’Neal had to say about the Academy snubbing Farrah Fawcett in the “In Memorandum” segment of the show. (Wonderwall)

Hilary Swank had the Vanity Fair Oscar’s party’s best dress, pants hands down. (Holy Moly!)

Bar Rafaeli looked like sex on a stick at the Academy Awards. (CelebSlam)

Lindsay Lohan’s boobs make a surprise reappearance in Dior! (Derek Hail)

Alessandra Ambrosio stretching in a bikini to give you that uncomfortable afternoon-at-work-boner. (The Superficial)

The most divisive movie in Pajiba history, and it’s NOT Avatar. (Pajiba)

Gabbie Sidibes’ dress is porno-riffic. And vomit-tastic. (LitelySalted)

Sandra Bullock picks up her Worst Actress of the Year Award a day before she wins Best Actress at the Oscars. How fickle is Hollywood! (Celebrity Odor)

More of the delicious Sofia Vergara’s amazing rack. (UseMyComputer)

Marc Anthony in the faggiest turtleneck I’ve ever seen. (CityRag)

Kourtney Kardashian’s pregnancy cans are gi-normous. (CelebSlam)

Roseanna Barr goes on a tirade agains Mormans! (Allie is Wired)

Eva Longoria gets sexy in high heels… and not much else. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Dave Navarro’s wiener is either two inches big or his hands are the size of catcher’s mitts. (CelebNewsWire)

Mickey Rourke banged 14 broads at once, and he wants to tell you all about it. (Socialite Life)

Rihanna has sexy robot sex at the Echo Awards! (Holy Moly)

Nicolas Cage looks like an out-of-work magic shop employee. (Hollywood Rag)

Mena Suvari borrows Amy Winehouse’s beehive for the night. (Moe Jackson)

Megan Fox’s high school pictures, before the nose job and lip injections. (CelebJihad)

Rihanna has some serious bingo wings in that outfit. Fortunately, the boobs make up for it. (The Grumpiest)

Lindsay Lohan crashes and burns at her first DJ-ing attempt. FAIL. (The Blemish)

Jessica Stroup upskirt! (Glamzilla)

Who is the scary lesbian on the cover of Rolling Stone? (Litely Salted)

Johnny Depp’s wife is scared of Angelina Jolie! (Seriously? OMG)

John Cusack is boning Brooke Burns. (Bricks and Stones)

Break out the sackcloth and ashes — Diane Krueger was a professional mourner. (Litely Salted)

Ever wondered what natural 32 E tits look like? Here you go. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Lady Gaga and Kelis try to out-stupid each other. (Holy Moly)

“The Office’s” Jim and Pam as each other. Warning: don’t look if you’re currently tripping balls. (Celebrity Odor)

Who’s the pederast with Miley Cyrus? (Celeb Jihad)

Rihanna as Moe from the Three Stooges, only blonde. (Socialite Life)

Joanna Krupa may have been sculpted by the hand of God himself. (Hollywood Rag)

Rebecca Gayheart birthed a fetus today. Hollywood PQ)

Mila Kunis looking gorgeous as always at the launch of Vera Wang’s boutique. (Moe Jackson)

Guess who moved back into Tiger’s millions mansion? (TMZ)

“The Crazies” does not have enough boobs. The end. (Pajiba)

The Top Ten Nude Academy Award Winners in one conveniently onanistic list. (Mr. Skin)

NKOTB’s Donnie Wahlberg had some seriously shitty plastic surgery! (Scandalist)

A behind the scenes look at former girlfriend Holly Madison. (Celebrity Smack)