John Kerry’s daughter busted for DUI! (Right Celebrity)

Gwyneth Paltrow shows you how you and your non-organic cranberry relish are doing Thanksgiving wrong. (Agent Bedhead)

Levi Johnston finds a G.I. Joe action figure lodged in his anus! (CelebJihad)

Super sexy Minka Kelly in a bikini in St. Barth’s. (Glamzilla)

Miley Cyrus tour bush in deadly crash! Unfortunately, Miley was not injured. (TMZ)

Christina Ricci has found the perfect way to hide her fivehead. (UseMyComputer)

Claire Danes wants you to look at her nipples. Mission accomplished! (The Blemish)

Ha ha — Fergie tries to be sexy at the Victoria’s Secret fashion show — and fails. (Hollywood Rag)

Behind-the-scenes backstage pics at the Victoria’s Secret show. (Moe Jackson)

90210 hottie Trevor Donovan shirtless! Yeah, I don’t know who that is, either. (Socialite Life)

Sneak puke peek at Tara Reid’s Playboy shoot. (Gone Hollywood)

Massive Sharon Stone cameltoe action. (The Fab Life)

Shakira shows off the girls on the cover of Rolling Stone. (popoholic)

Holly Madison as Ethel Merman. (Hollywood Tuna)

Nic Cage appears to have aged 25 years in the last six months. (Litely Salted)

Pamela Anderson’s tits, much like her jowls, are staring directly at the ground. Gross. (Hollywood Rag)

If you’ve never heard of Amber Heard, now is the time to educate yourself. She’s a knock-out! (Moe Jackson)

These upskirt pics of Beyonce indicate that she is a full Brazilian kind of girl. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Adam Lambert’s pores are so goddamn big that they look like potholes. (Socialite Life)

Amy Winehouse’s breast implant exploded! (Holy Moly)

Jim Carrey’s new movie is a great film and the most faithful adaptation of Dickens’ novella, but it will scare the living shit outta your kids. (Pajiba)

Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning make out! (Gawker)

Because excessive side boob can be just as good as cleavage, I present: Jessica Lowndes. (CelebNewsWire)

The Top Ten Twilight Babes! (Mr. Skin)

If you didn’t catch Jenna Jameson’s wincingly uncomfortable interview on Oprah, you can watch it here. (Celebitchy)

Katy Perry continues her quest for attention in an all-spandex bodysuit. (The Grumpiest)

Hey, look — it’s Victoria Beckham’s nipples for the 4,786th time. (CelebSlam)

Danny Glover is marrying a Brazilian half his age! (popeater)

Joanna Krupa nude in Playboy. You’re welcome. (Fatback)

Leighton Meester looks fantastic in next month’s Glamour. (ONTD)

The dad of the kid that Michael Jackson molested has killed himself. (Gabby Babble)

Check out Miley Cyrus’ new Mexican girl gang under-the-eye tattoo. ¡Que sucio! (Allie is Wired)

Nicolas Cage lost his millions buying castles and shrunken heads. (Post Chronicle)

Christina Aguilera starts filming “Burlesque.” I’m guessing she plays the tranny killer. (popbytes)

Because they’re not just for holding up your pants: 68 belt-bra babes! (COED Magazine)

Pamela Anderson admits to using cocaine! (Hollywood Rag)

Johnny Depp is People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive. (Socialite Life)

Miley Cyrus says she hates Twilight. I, in turn, hate Miley Cyrus. See how it all comes full circle? (Litely Salted)

When did little Dakota Fanning get so damn hot?! (Moe Jackson)

Ha ha — Lily Allen falls down onstage because of her ridiculous shoes. (Holy Moly!)

Hulk Hogan viciously attacked! (Dlisted)

Cheryl Tweedy’s sexy 2010 calendar. (Hollywood Tuna)

Tom Cruise, or lesbian lumberjack? You decide. (Wonderwall)

Lady Gaga seems to have perfected her tuck game. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Best Twilight spoof yet! (Celebrity Odor)

Brat Pack’s Anthony Michael Hall is a woman beater! (The Blemish)

Brittany Murphy makes out with her dog — literally. (ICYDK)

Shia LeBeouf can’t keep his hand off his wiener. (Seriously? OMG)

When bad breast implants happen to good people… (The Dirty)

Your first look at the naked-but-not-full-frontal Levi Johnston Playgirl pics! (omg blog)

Video of Lindsay Lohan snorting blow with Brandon Davis. (CelebNewsWire)

Chris Brown’s wiener has something important to say. (Hollywood PQ)

Ashley Tisdale bikini pictures put the “meh” in “mediocre.” (The Grumpiest)

Halle Berry’s dad used to beat her! (Socialite Life)

Mariah Carey’s ass looks like a goddamn pancake. (Hollywood Rag)

Move over, Carrie Prejean — Miss Japan 2008 and Miss Trinidad and Tobago 2008 star in a hardcore anal lesbian sex tape. (TMZ)

And you can watch that Miss Japan and Miss Trinidad and Tobago hardcore anal lesbian sex tape right here (scroll to the bottom of the page). (Mr. Skin)

Ashley Green will get your blood pressure up at the premiere of New Moon. (Moe Jackson)

Whereas Jennifer Love Hewitt will just raise your cholesterol a couple of points. Fatty! (Dirty Rotten Whore)

As if you need a reason — gorgeous Salma Hayek pics. (CityRag)

Ever wondered what Megan Fox would look like 150 pounds heavier? Here you go. (CelebJihad)

Ick and double ick: Avril Lavigne is rubbing pork pies with Wilmer Valderrama. (Celebitchy)

Rosie O’Donnell looks like complete and total ass. The years have not been kind, my friends. Nor has the sun. (CelebSlam)

Did Jessica Biel get even more work done on her face? She’s starting to look like a goddamn alien. (UseMyComputer)

Sexy Doutzen Kroes and Alessandra Ambrosio in the new Victoria’s Secret commercials. (Velvet)

Brooke Magnanti is the real life Belle de Jour. (Right Celebrity)

Brad Pitt and Angelina design snake jewelery. I didn’t know reptiles were so into accessories. (Allie is Wired)

Megan Fox does geek chic. (Bricks and Stones)

Blake Lively shows off her fake tits by forgetting a bra… and the shirt. (Moe Jackson)

Amy Winehouse is back in rehab the hospital. Again. (Hollywood Rag)

Is Liv Tyler pregnant? Judge for yourself! (Socialite Life)

Beyonce flashes the panties while exiting a car. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

David Beckham goes Last of the Mohicans with his hair. (Holy Moly!)

Lindsay Lohan attempts to steal two bottles of champagne and gets busted! (Litely Salted)

Nothing is safe from”2012’s” CGI wrecking ball — not even John Cusack’s distinguished career. (Pajiba)

Geena Davis got FAT! (Celebrity Odor)

Rihanna camel toe action! (Glamzilla)

Christina Ricci, or Asian Kewpie doll? (UseMyComputer)

Michael Lohan requests strippers that look like Lindsay. Move over, Papa Joe — there’s a new creepy dad in town! (The Blemish)

Michael Lohan could face jail time for selling those Lindsay tapes! (Gone Hollywood)

Halle Berry cusses Tyra Banks. Sorta. (Hollywood Rag)

You can lead a horse to water, but you just can’t teach them to drive stick. Case in point. (UseMyComputer)

Katie Holmes looks like complete and total ass. That is all. (Socialite Life)

Nicole Kidman’s face is terrifying. Literally. (The Superficial)

Tila Tequila is now exclusively Team Vag. (CelebNewsWire)

The only Playboy Playmate in the last ten years WITHOUT breast implants. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Stephen Colbert shaves Woody Harrelson’s head for the troops! (Celebitchy)

Nick Hogan is haunted. Ooooh! Oooo-ooo-oooh! (Litely Salted)

Olivia Wilde has nipples, and you can see them through this shirt. Pervert. (Celeb Jihad)

Joss Stone’s new video leaks online, and it may be the worst thing ever made. (Holy Moly!)

Is Jon Gosselin getting paid to smoke cigarettes? And where can I sign up? (popbytes)

Megan Fox says girls hate her because they think she’s a slut. When really, we hate her because she keeps telling us how fucking sexy she is. (Wonderwall)

Kristen Stewart is a cutting-edge fashionista now. I guess she’s finally outgrown her Chuck Taylors. (PopEater)

Mischa Barton does the topless thing. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

And on the topic of topless, here’s Sofia Vergara completely starkers. (CityRag)

Robin Wright Penn does her best Aeon Flux. (Lainey Gossip)

Because she’s not overexposed enough, Lady Gaga in Vanity Fair. (Hollywood PQ)

After-pics of the photographer Mike Tyson was arrested for assaulting. (TMZ)

What in God’s name has Nicole Kidman done to her breasts?! (Moe Jackson)

The best dressed of the ladies at the 2009 Country Music Awards, starting with the lovely Faith Hill. (Socialite Life)

Mariah Carey is DRUU-UUNK! (Hollywood Rag)

“Precious” easily contains some of the finest actressin’ of our generation. (Pajiba)

Megan Fox’s Rapunzel ballerina photoshoot for the New York Times. (popoholic)

So Britney Spears is worshipping Satan now. (Litely Salted)

As consolation for “Dollhouse” being canceled, some sexy pictures of Eliza Dushku. (Celebrity Odor)

And in honor of Veteran’s Day, 100 Foxes in Fatigues. Rawr!(COED Magazine)

Katherine McPhee looks like a 65-year old grandmother. (Derek Hail)

Audrina Partridge has a classic case of Barbie Crotch. She might want to see a doctor about that. (Hollywood Rag)

Oh, look! Mya’s presenting. She must be in heat. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Video of Marilyn Manson being pegged in the head with a bottle while performing. Worth watching twice. (Celebrity Odor)

Celine Dion suffers a miscarriage. (Socialite Life)

It’s pretty obvious that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart simultaneously farted here. (Moe Jackson)

And now they’re touching hands!! How many boxes of Manic Panic and Camel Lights will suffer for this outrage? (Litely Salted)

This pictures will complete erase from your mind any doubts that Eddie Murphy is gayer than My Little Pony Christmas. (Holy Moly!)

Jon Gosselin actually makes a funny. (The Blemish)

Carrie Underwood works a little kilt and some school girl knee socks. (The Grumpiest)

Emma Watson looks stunning in Russian Elle. (CelebJihad)

How did I miss this Rihanna nipslip at the Glamour Awards Monday night? (Egotastic)

Fergie has rules about cheating with girls. Too bad she never mentioned them to her husband. (Seriously? OMG)

WTF?! Shakira gets dreadlocks? (CelebSlam)

Shauna Sand looks more disgusting with every passing day. (Hollywood Rag)

Joss Stone publicly defends her chronic cannabis use. (Holy Moly!)

See if you can guess what Ashlee Simpson’s new job is. Hint: it doesn’t involve her chin. Or does it? (Litely Salted)

The first of many “New Moon” photocalls, this one in Paris. (Socialite Life)

Speaking of “New Moon,” Robert Pattinson on the cover of Vanity Fair. (Hollywood PQ)

Britney Spears breaks out a new bikini. (The Superficial)

Half the audience walks out on Tracy Morgan’s comedy act, but shockingly, not because he’s not funny. (Celebitchy)

Some drunk-ass ho in New York comes within inches of getting run over by a subway train. (Dlisted)

The cutest thing you will see all week, hands-down. (omg blog)

Aubrey O’Day continues her mission to convince you she’s hot with a bunch of whorish Twitter pictures. (Glamzilla)

Olivia Munn gets her lingerie on! (CelebNewsWire)

Vintage sexy Keira Knightley in Max magazine. (UseMyComputer)

Eva Wyrwal might have the biggest real boobs I’ve ever seen. (Fatback)

Morrissey gets tanked in the head with a bottle of beer and walks off the stage. (Agent Bedhead)

Oh, hell yes: Ana Beatriz Barros and Alessandra Ambrosio in GQ magazine. (Moe Jackson)

Eva Mendes learns exactly what happens when you unbutton your shirt to your navel and don’t wear a bra. (Hollywood Rag)

Lady Gaga’s face makes a rare appearance… and now you know why she wears a mask most of the time. (Litely Salted)

Did Jessica Biel get a nose job? (Holy Moly)

Joanna Krupa looks like the goddamn Joker. (Moe Jackson)

Fans walk out of a Britney Spears concert in Australia because she was lipsynching. Yeah, apparently Australians are retarded. (Socialite Life)

What in holy hell is on Fergie’s head? (The Blemish)

Christina Ricci looks like a lollipop with bangs. (UseMyComputer)

Paris Hilton gets used by a billboard company. (CelebSlam)

Video footage of Jessica Alba getting spanked with a belt! (Mr. Skin)

WTF happened to Sammy Sosa’s face?! (Celebrity Odor)

Adriana Lima’s nipples make an appearance on the runway. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Caroline Wozniacki topless bikini pics. (The Grumpiest)

P. Diddy drunk with his pants down at Quo in NYC. (The Dirty)

Irrefutable proof that Ashlee wasn’t the only Simpson to get a nose job. (CityRag)

George Clooney’s “Men Who Stare at Goats” is a flat, listless film that meanders aimlessly from one point to another and never really pushes any of your emotional buttons. (Pajiba)

Check it out nerdlingers, this must be the best day of your life because here’s a matched pair of Princess Leias in their gold bikinis. (AgentBedhead)

Jon Hamm has always been a pretty, pretty man. (LitelySalted)

Katy Perry had a busy, fug-filled night in Germany. (GoFugYourself)

Megan Fox doesn’t have any friends because of her daddy issues.  Or because she’s goddamn retarded and annoying as hell.  You know, whichever. (Celebitchy)

And just think: Brian Austin Green has to listen to Megan Fox yammer all day long. (IDLYITW)

If you’ve always wanted to stink like burnt leather, ballsweat and STDs, Pamela Anderson has just the perfume for you. (Popbytes)

Oh look, it’s Jessica Alba’s ass. (Celebslam)

Australia doesn’t like that Britney Spears lip-syncs in concert and still charges up to $1300/ticket.  I’m guessing they’re also pissed because she marches around braless with her droopy tits sagging up the joint. (EvilBeet)

Olivia Munn makes dorks happy. (CelebNewsWire)

Suri Cruise makes friends with a real live human child. (LaineyGossip)

Jennifer Lopez apparently has a 12-year-old, 11-hour-long sex tape made with her first husband Ojani Noa.  I can’t imagine why anyone would care, since nobody gives a shit about Jennifer Lopez. (Bumpshack)

Find out why Sandra Bullock is suing a porn star! And no, it’s not because the porn star was unintentionally funnier in “Clitty Clitty Bang Bang” than Sandra was in “All About Steve.” (Celebitchy)

Brad Pitt has dingleberries in his billy goat muff. (Litely Salted)

Natalie Portman and Padma Lakshmi have dirty minds! (Celebrity Odor)

Ernest Hemigway’s great-granddaughter gets naked for the camera. The bell tolls for thee, bitches! (CityRag)

Blake Lively in a bustier in Marie Claire magazine. (Moe Jackson)

Watch part one of Rihanna’s Good Morning America interview where she says she’s “ashamed and embarrassed.” But not by her hair, apparently. (Socialite Life)

Mini-Me is a homicidal psychopath, according to the California legal system. (Hollywood Rag)

Steve Guttenberg refuses to fade away gracefully — and it’s called “Three Men and a Bride.” (Holy Moly)

Miranda Kerr in the November issue of CS magazine. (use my computer)

Sophie Reade has gigantic boobs. That is all. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Find out what Carrie Prejean has to say about her fledgling porn career on the Today Show. (The Dirty)

Britney Spears goes braless, and her nipples go due south. Yuck. (Hollywood PQ)

October might be over, but it’s never to later to rocktober out with your cocktober out with these Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame performances. (Thighs Wide Shut)

All the Carmen Electra you can stand. (Rod Ryan)

Girls of the Sybian sans top. (Howard Stern)

Heidi Klum deemed to fat to walk the runway at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show! (The Blemish)