Check it out nerdlingers, this must be the best day of your life because here’s a matched pair of Princess Leias in their gold bikinis. (AgentBedhead)

Jon Hamm has always been a pretty, pretty man. (LitelySalted)

Katy Perry had a busy, fug-filled night in Germany. (GoFugYourself)

Megan Fox doesn’t have any friends because of her daddy issues.  Or because she’s goddamn retarded and annoying as hell.  You know, whichever. (Celebitchy)

And just think: Brian Austin Green has to listen to Megan Fox yammer all day long. (IDLYITW)

If you’ve always wanted to stink like burnt leather, ballsweat and STDs, Pamela Anderson has just the perfume for you. (Popbytes)

Oh look, it’s Jessica Alba’s ass. (Celebslam)

Australia doesn’t like that Britney Spears lip-syncs in concert and still charges up to $1300/ticket.  I’m guessing they’re also pissed because she marches around braless with her droopy tits sagging up the joint. (EvilBeet)

Olivia Munn makes dorks happy. (CelebNewsWire)

Suri Cruise makes friends with a real live human child. (LaineyGossip)

Jennifer Lopez apparently has a 12-year-old, 11-hour-long sex tape made with her first husband Ojani Noa.  I can’t imagine why anyone would care, since nobody gives a shit about Jennifer Lopez. (Bumpshack)

Find out why Sandra Bullock is suing a porn star! And no, it’s not because the porn star was unintentionally funnier in “Clitty Clitty Bang Bang” than Sandra was in “All About Steve.” (Celebitchy)

Brad Pitt has dingleberries in his billy goat muff. (Litely Salted)

Natalie Portman and Padma Lakshmi have dirty minds! (Celebrity Odor)

Ernest Hemigway’s great-granddaughter gets naked for the camera. The bell tolls for thee, bitches! (CityRag)

Blake Lively in a bustier in Marie Claire magazine. (Moe Jackson)

Watch part one of Rihanna’s Good Morning America interview where she says she’s “ashamed and embarrassed.” But not by her hair, apparently. (Socialite Life)

Mini-Me is a homicidal psychopath, according to the California legal system. (Hollywood Rag)

Steve Guttenberg refuses to fade away gracefully — and it’s called “Three Men and a Bride.” (Holy Moly)

Miranda Kerr in the November issue of CS magazine. (use my computer)

Sophie Reade has gigantic boobs. That is all. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Find out what Carrie Prejean has to say about her fledgling porn career on the Today Show. (The Dirty)

Britney Spears goes braless, and her nipples go due south. Yuck. (Hollywood PQ)

October might be over, but it’s never to later to rocktober out with your cocktober out with these Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame performances. (Thighs Wide Shut)

All the Carmen Electra you can stand. (Rod Ryan)

Girls of the Sybian sans top. (Howard Stern)

Heidi Klum deemed to fat to walk the runway at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show! (The Blemish)

Ashlee Simpson was fired from Melrose Place because the entire cast hated her! (Bricks and Stones)

Guess which Kardashian takes a shot to the face in this clip? (TMZ)

A monkey on a goat on a tightrope. You can’t make this shit up. (omg blog)

The PTC is trying to stop Monday’s Gossip Girl threesome! Now see if they can stop me from not caring. (Seriously? OMG)

Jim Carrey is now a Hasidic Jew. Beard and all. (ICYDK)

Listen to round one of the Michael Lohan’s ET messages. Highlights include “Lindsay sobbing hysterically” and “Lindsay saying no one cares about her.” (ONTD)

Hailey Glassman/Perez Hilton bitch fight! (Bitten and Bound)

Michael Jackson liked urinating in front of small children, says his former doctor. Yeah, that’s fuckin normal. (Hollywood Rag)

Kate Beckinsale stunning as always at the “Everybody’s Fine” world premiere. (Moe Jackson)

Find out why the Army is apologizing to Ryan Seacrest. (Wonderwall)

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson vamp it up in this cheesy Harper’s Bazaar photo shoot. (Socialite Life)

British Page 3 Girl Rosie Jones goes topless for your hump day. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Madonna brings Jesus to Valentino’s party. Good thing they make those retractable leashes for people. (Holy Moly)

Taylor Swift’s Guitar Hero commercial! (Gabby Babble)

AnnaLynne McCord nippley-slippley. (CelebNewsWire)

Petra Nemcova gets wet and wild in a Karine Belouaar photo shoot. (Glamcrunch)

Twilight’s Ashley Greene’s sexy Halloween costume. (Use My Computer)

Pictures of Hugh Grant sloshed out of his gourd. (CelebSlam)

Kiefer Sutherland racks up a $700 bar tab — all before lunchtime. (The Blemish)

Just like your frustrated chihuahua, Robert Pattinson humps his pillow. (CelebJihad)

Jennifer Love Hewitt as a Playboy Behemoth Bunny. (Celebrity Odor)

Jennifer Elia is Chastity “Chaz” Bono’s new post-surgery girlfriend. So that would make her… a lesbian? Or possibly a chubby chaser. (Right Celebrity)

Elisha Dushku gets all dolled up for Heidi Klum’s Halloween party. (Moe Jackson)

Jewel bikini pics! (Dirty Rotten Whore)

And even more Christina Ricci bikini pics! (The Grumpiest)

Fergie as Cleopatra for All Hallow’s Eve. (Holy Moly)

Ha ha — Mariah trips and almost eats it while blowing kisses to Jay Leno’s audience. (Socialite Life)

Paris Hilton’s boyfriend is actually a fairy! (Hollywood Rag)

The new “Prince of Persia” trailer is out! (Pajiba)

Robert Pattinson looking sad and anemic in a photo shoot for Vanity Fair. (Hollywood PQ)

Lady Gaga as Hello Shitty Kitty. (Velvet)

AnnaLynne McCord wins the Sexiest Celebrity Halloween Costume award in a fishnet batgirl getup. (Glamzilla)

And Audrina Partridge is a close second as a sexy genie. (Moe Jackson)

LaToya Jackson dressed as a… Tin Man Turned Prostitute in a Clockwork Orange. Nice. (Hollywood Rag)

Ice T and Coco get “kinky” for Halloween. And that’s putting it mildly. (Socialite Life)

James Gandolfini wins WORST Celebrity Halloween Costume as a half-ass Homer Simpson. (Holy Moly!)

Pink topless! (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Bai Ling’s nipples attacked by cheetah-housecat hybrid! (CelebNewsWire)

Christopher Walken reading Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face.” Awesome. (omg blog)

The scariest Halloween costume you’ll ever see in your life. (The Dirty)

Penelope Cruz topless tribute! (CityRag)

Jeremy Piven claims soy milk gave him man boobs. Still doesn’t explain the gaping vagina. (Celebitchy)

Lindsay Lohan is fucking Gerard Butler. Ew. (Dlisted)

Olivia Munn’s sexy My Mag video preview. (popoholic)

Taylor Swift Nazi pictures?! (The Grumpiest)

Sad news — Dennis Hopper has prostate cancer. (Wonderwall)

See the super raunchy video for Britney’s new song about threesomes. (PopEater)

Now’s your chance to take a vacation from yourself and grow a mustache — for charity! (PopCandy)

Leighton Meester in lace stockings. Rawr. (UseMyComputer)

Doutzen Kroes in the sluttiest one-piece ever made. Double rawr. (Drunken Stepfather)

You’ve seen the cover — now see Chelsea Handler’s Playboy pics! (Gone Hollywood)

Lindsay Lohan is back on the penis. And I mean that literally. (The Blemish)

Deborah Gibson as Satan — if Satan were Gwen Stefani! And I’m not saying that he isn’t. (Hollywood Rag)

Mickey Rourke face-plants in a Scarface size pile of cocaine. (Socialite Life)

Chris Rock’s new documentary is a very select study of how hair affects black culture. And by God, it is entertaining. (Pajiba)

Megan Fox in teeny-weeny cutoff jeans. (Moe Jackson)

Celine Dion without makeup — and it’s goddamn terrifying. (Hollywood PQ)

The world’s most annoying couple dressed up like the world’s other most annoying couple. How very tongue-in-cheek, Speidi! (Fatback)

Twilight nip slip deleted scene video! (Celeb Jihad)

Ha ha — Jimmy Kimmel burns the hell out of Melissa Joan Hart. (Celebrity Odor)

Hey, look — Sophie Monk is wearing the same ladybug whore costume as Noah Cyrus. Same size, tooz. (Moe Jackson)

Vikki Blows topless pictures. (Egotastic)

Mario Lopez in dominatrix gear! (Socialite Life)

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore attend the GQ “Gentleman’s Ball.” (Holy Moly!)

Tila Tequila in a denim corset. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Ha ha — Khloe Kardashian can’t even get married without a hiding an emergency stash of Hostess cupcakes within arms reach. (The Dirty)

Alessandra Ambrosio gets nasty in a bikini! (Hollywood Tuna)

Shauna Sand without all the makeup — except for the tattooed-on makeup. Equally repulsive, if you ask me. (Hollywood Rag)

Chelsea Handler’s Playboy cover revealed! (Celebitchy)

Katie Holmes’ 3-year marriage contract is finally up! But will she leave Tom? (popbytes)

Ew: Kate Hudson and A-Rod “love to bone.” Excuse me while I gouge out my mind’s eye. (The Fab Life)

Natalie Portman compares eating meat to rape. That ought to win her a lot of fans. (Anything Hollywood)

Check out Jessica Simpson’s new tattoo! (Hollywood Rag)

Marisa Miller in a $3 million dollar bra. (Moe Jackson)

Taylor Swift is dating Taylor Lautner! (Socialite Life)

Courtney Love and Jocelyn Wildstein could be twins. Evil undead twins. (Holy Moly!)

Attention Twi-hards (ugh): Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have broken up! (Allie is Wired)

Andre Agassi admits he had a meth problem during his final years of playing tennis. (Bricks and Stones)

New Moon nice bazooms: Ashely Green shows off the girls. (CelebNewsWire)

Mel B dresses up as Pam Anderson for Halloween. Cystic acne scars not included. (Gabby Babble)

Super sexy Irina Sheik’s bikini photo shoot. (Glamzilla)

Jennifer Lopez is working the old man windswept combover. (UseMyComputer)

Brittany Murphy is fucking crazy. At least, that’s what the cops wrote on the report. (The Blemish)

Angelina Jolie fucked her mom’s boyfriend — and she liked it! (CelebSlam)

Reese Witherspoon looks positively gorgeous at the Avon Foundation’s Champions Who Change Lives, chin and all! (I’m Not Obsessed)

Lindsay Lohan goes topless for Style magazine. (popoholic)

Jude Law and Sienna Miller reunited! (E! Online)

Rosie O’Donnell was this close to doing it with Angelina Jolie. (PopEater)

Jennifer Esposito gets engaged to Philip Poussis. That last name is awfully close to “pussy.” (Wonderwall)

Chris Brown “I Can Transform Ya” video premiere. (ONTD)

Alessandra Ambrosio in a pair of daisy dukes. (The Grumpiest)

Miranda Kerr lingerie bonanza! (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Amy Winehouse shows off her new gigantic implants… and one of her nipples. (Hollywood Rag)

Julia Roberts and Javier Bardem bikini pictures! Well, Javier Bardem isn’t in a bikini, but he’d probably fill out the top better. (Socialite Life)

Lindsay Lohan and Paula Abdul together — pharmaceutical stocks just tripled in value. (Dlisted)

Charlize Theron does a sexy Tarzan at the Hollywood Awards Gala. (Holy Moly!)

Hilary Swank’s new movie “Amelia” is the least interesting movie ever made about anyone who ever lived. Ever. (Pajiba)

Liv Tyler gets her American Beauty on. (UseMyComputer)

Kate Beckinsale lookin’ absolutely gorgeous at the Hollywood Awards gala. (Moe Jackson)

The ultimate Twilight sex fantasy. Barf. (omg blog)

Britney Spears, braless and boozy! (CityRag)

All the gruesome pics from Brad Pitt’s motorcycle accident! Gruesome mainly being his billy goat muff. (Hollywood Rag)

Gisele Bundchen’s baby bump is HUGE! (Socialite Life)

Eva Longoria knows nothing flatters a little black bikini like a multi-stranded diamond necklace/belt combo. Classy! (UseMyComputer)

No, no, no — Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil get married again! (Holy Moly)

A nice Pamela Anderson upskirt to bitch-slap you back into the work week. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Shauna Sand’s sex tape will be released, and here’s why! (The Blemish)

John Mayer is porking John Kransinski’s sloppy seconds. (CelebSlam)

Ever wondered what Stevie Wonder’s twitter page would look like? Here you go. (Celebrity Odor)

Kim Kardashian upskirt! I’m pretty sure if you put your ear up to the monitor, you can hear the sea. (CelebJihad)

Katy Perry’s party includes midgets, a food fight and an upskirt. The birthday trifecta! (Moe Jackson)

More pics of the “new” Elvira — but topless. (The Dirty)

Audrina Patridge tries to single-handedly usher in the exposed midriff. (CelebNewsWire)

Olivia Munn goes topless… on ABC Family? (Egotastic)

Ivanka Trump gets married! (Celebitchy)

Megan Fox in Giola magazine. (popoholic)

Ha ha — Jon Gosselin ordered to pay back Kate all the money he “borrowed.” (TMZ)

Someone attacked Sienna Miller with with a pair of pinking shears! (Socialite Life)

Pamela Anderson’s face appears to be made of a giant shiitake mushroom. (Hollywood Rag)

See if you can glean the hidden message in this lingerie commercial. (Jezebel)

Lily Allen’s most bizarre stage get-up ever! (Holy Moly!)

Miley Cyrus shows off some leg! (Dirty Rotten Whore)

I can’t believe a girl this beautiful ever dated Joe Jonas. (Moe Jackson)

Katarina Ivanovska in a photo shoot for Womensecret Winter 2009 Lingerie Collection. (Use My Computer)

Sophie Monk bikini pictures! (The Grumpiest)

Sharon Stone’s old-lady headlights are on. (CityRag)

Daisy de la Hoya celebrates one more year of “hasn’t OD’d yet!” (Derek Hail)

R.I.P. Soupy Sales. (Seriously? OMG)

Madonna appears to have bathed in the blood of virgins and fresh placentas. (Lainey Gossip)

Taylor Momsen looks like a damn dirty whore in that outfit. (Hollywood Rag)

Cate Blanchett looks like an exotic alien hybrid in this photo shoot. (UseMyComputer)

Gerard Simpson is porking Jessica Simpson! And then probably hiding pork under the couch cushions so he can make a hasty retreat. (Socialite Life)

Is Kevin Costner smuggling a cucumber in his pants? (Best Week Ever)

The second most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen, right behind Two Girls One Cup. You’ve been warned. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Adrianne Curry dresses up as Amy Winehouse — complete with needle and tourniquet! (Holy Moly!)

Bar Rafeali raises the bar by lowering the neckline. See how I did that? I’m a professional. (CelebSlam)

A retrospect: Paris Hilton’s skanky Halloween costumes over the years. (Celebrity Odor)

It’s a sad day with your own mom looks hotter than either of you, Kardashian sisters. (Moe Jackson)

Law Abiding Citizen doesn’t want to provoke thought or challenge notions — it just wants to blow up people and give us what we expect. Yay Gerard Butler! (Pajiba)

Why would boinking Alec Baldwin kill Renee Zellwegger? (The Blemish)

Sexy Halloween costume cleavage collection, because you haven’t seen enough boobs today. (COED Magazine)

All the deets in the ESPN Steve Phillip’s affair. (Gone Hollywood)

Bobby Brown says Whitney Houston is really a lesbian! (Right Celebrity)