Quickies: Jailbirds
Tags: Quickies

Hef’s new sluts are felons. He totally doesn’t care. You know he likes it rough. (IDLYITW)
Sex rehab apparently sucked the life right out of David Duchovny. That’ll certainly make for a compelling explanation when he falls off the wagon. “But honey, I had to have sex with all four of those girls at once, or I could have died!” (BauerGriffin)
This crazy old lady disagrees with Agent Mulder, and says sex will drive you to an early grave. Whatever, granny. I’m willing to make a few sacrifices, including taking several years off my life. (The Sun)
Suri Cruise needs a haircut. Can she even see with those bangs in her face? (ASL)
Avril Lavigne’s hobgoblin husband might leave her. That’s what you get when you’re a talentless, narcissistic, jackassy poseur. (WIMB)
The trailer for The Unborn = gross. Gross gross gross. Guh-ross. Also: awesome. (Pajiba)
Melanie Brown (Scary Spice) is in her knickers. (The Superficial)
There’s a geriatric catfight brewing betwixt Tina Turner and Aretha Franklin. Dudes, did I not tell you earlier that it is a slow news day? Also, warning: the header pic in this article is terrifying and vaguely NSFW. (CelebNewsWire)
Nobody likes Jennifer Lopez. (The Blemish)
Joe Son (Random Task in the first Austin Powers film) has been charged with 17 felony counts in connection with an incredibly brutal gang rape which took place in 1990. I have nothing funny to say about this. (Celebslam)
Moving on to something significantly less disgusting and depressing: remember that Anna Kournikova Maxim spread from awhile back? Well, apparently the German issue has some previously unseen shots. (Popoholic)









