Nine months after his infamous racist tirade, Radar Online finally has Mel Gibson’s response to all the rants he made against baby mama Oksana Grigorieva.

Gibson told the website that while no one “expressed any anger at him,” he regrets what he said on the tapes.

He said he felt blindsided by their very existence, asking: “Who anticipates being recorded? Who anticipates that? Who could anticipate such a personal betrayal?”

Gibson said the slurs that he’s heard using on the tapes — from sexist comments using the “C-word,” to racist comments using phrases like the “N-word” and “Wetbacks” — were taken out of context, and not reflective of who he really is.

“I’ve never treated anyone badly or in a discriminatory way based on their gender, race, religion or sexuality — period,” the Lethal Weapon star said. “I don’t blame some people for thinking that though, from the garbage they heard on those leaked tapes, which have been edited.”

Gibson said the tapes represent “one terribly, awful moment in time, said to one person, in the span of one day and [not] what I truly believe, or how I’ve treated people my entire life.”

Oh sure, the words “niggers”, “cunt” and “wetbacks” were taken out of context. They naturally enter into civilized conversation all the time. I personally think they have the best effect when said at a church’s ladies tea and luncheon event. The trick is to say them with an upper-crust British accent while sipping your tea with an extended pinky. I mean, anything said with a British accent and extended pinky finger is automatically classy, am I right?

Isabeli Fontana and Natasha Poly nakedness in Muse Magazine (thumbnails 4 & 5 NSFW):

It’s a well-known fact that Paris Hilton is a racist — remember this little video where she drops the N-word a bunch of times — and now a new book featuring a transcript of an interview she gave when she was 18 depicts her as a full-blown white supremacist. Nine MSN says:

The book’s author Neil Strauss interviewed Paris at a party when she was 18, “during which she takes a hit of E… brags about her boob job at 14 (her mum made her remove them), a possible pose for Playboy, and a would-be conquest that didn’t happen because…”

In Paris’s own words:

HILTON: I went out with that guy last night.

STRAUSS: Which guy?

HILTON (points to an actor in Saving Private Ryan): We were making out, but then we went somewhere where it was bright and I saw that he was black and made an excuse and left. I can’t stand black guys. I would never touch one. It’s gross. (pauses). Does that guy look black to you?

STRAUSS: How black does a guy have to be?

HILTON: One percent is enough for me.

Believe it or not, some people don’t even realize just how racist they are. That’s why I created this handy test. Choose the best answer from each of the questions below and then tally your points at the bottom to see where you rank on the racist scale.

1. Two black guys decide to jump off a building; who lands first?
A) Who cares?
B) Yo momma
C) Whoever the cop shoots first

2. What is black, purple, and yellow?
A) An L.A. Laker
B) A Chinese guy after a beating
C) A black person going to church.

3. A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who’s driving?
A) The cop
B) The getaway driver
C) Colonel Sanders

4. What do you do when you see a black man with half a face?
A) Lock your doors and hide your purse
B) Stop laughing and reload
C) Cross your legs so he can’t rape you

RESULTS: They were trick questions, because all the answers were racist! So if you answered A, B or C for any of the above, you, sir, are a racist. Frankly, you disgust me.

Paris leaving BOA last night:

PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures

Jay-Z and Beyonce may soon be switching from sipping Cristal to Kool-Aid, thanks to friend and Scientologist Will Smith. Says MediaTakeOut,

Jay Z and Will Smith have long been friends, but in recent months, their friendship has gotten a lot stronger. And a person close to Jay’s family is concerned that Will’s SCIENTOLOGY WAYS are rubbing off on the Brooklyn Rapper.

The insider, who spoke EXCLUSIVELY to MediaTakeOut.com tells us that Will wants Jay Z and Beyonce to JOIN SCIENTOLOGY!!! And Jay might have JOINED THE CHURCH!!

The insider told MediaTakeOut.com, “[Jay Z] does not sound the same . . . I overheard him [ranting] about the power of the mind, and he sounded crazy.”

I don’t see why any black person would not want to join a cult whose founder viewed the South African race as primitive, unable to take care of their own possessions, and supported white men overseeing them. But at least he didn’t blame them entirely–it was all the heavy space opera going on. If nothing else, at least Jay-Z should have some new material to work with. “Heavy Space Opera” sounds like a great title for a new song, right along with “I’m Just an Ignorant Pickaninny”.

Beyonce in  the April 2011 Cosmo UK:

If you’re wondering if Mel Gibson has always been the charmer he is today: in a word, ohfuckingyes. Winona Ryder told next month’s GQ magazine:

“I remember, like, fifteen years ago, I was at one of those big Hollywood parties. And he was really drunk. I was with my friend, who’s gay. He made a really horrible gay joke. And somehow it came up that I was Jewish. He said something about ‘oven dodgers,’ but I didn’t get it. I’d never heard that before. It was just this weird, weird moment. I was like, ‘He’s anti-Semitic and he’s homophobic.’ No one believed me!”

Sorry, but there’s just no such thing as a Holocaust “joke.” Although God knows it’s not for lack of me trying. Genocide jokes don’t elicit laughs. Much like this post, when you stop and think about it.

PHOTO CREDIT: GQ

Radar Online has taken an almost calculated delight in releasing the Mel Gibson audio rants one at a time, and today marks the emergence of tape number three. See if you can guess if he sounds like a complete raving lunatic for the entire duration of the tape (hint: he does). From the audio clip:

Oksana: “You made me moneyless. I used to have hundred thousand dollars a year when you met me. You took me, you possessed me. Everything I am you own me with my liver and my kidneys and my thoughts and my soul. Everything! My career, whatever it is. Pathetic career. Whatever it is, it’s yours. You control me like marionette. I don’t belong to myself, only to you. I can’t do anything and I walk on eggshells always with you!”

Mel: “That’s because you’re a fucking using whore! Now, I own you. I gave you everything. Don’t you dare fucking complain to me! I don’t fuckin’ hear you! You don’t fucking count! You’re a fucking using whore!”

Oksana: “I have to go, the baby is crying.”

Mel: “Go look after my child!”

Oksana: “She’s my child too.”

Mel: “Yeah I know, unfortunately you cunt whore! I hope she doesn’t turn out like you!”

You can almost hear him jumping up and down and waving his arms frantically from his spot on the tree branch, but you never actually hear him throw his own feces. It seems the ethereal dignity of the monkey will always somehow elude Mel Gibson.

It was just a matter of time, really. The first of the Mel Gibson rants has made its way online, and it’s everything you’d thought it’d be and then some. He sounds like a goddamn lunatic. And he sounds like he’s been pounding whiskey for the last five days straight. Then there’s this constant labored huffing and puffing, like Fatty McGee is taking the stairs in the background. I guess being that angry really burns up a lot of oxygen. It also seems to burn a lot of bridges, because Mel’s just been dropped by his agents. According to TMZ:

Mel Gibson has been dropped by William Morris Endeavor Entertainment — his agents.

Gibson had been repped by famed agent Ed Limato.

Apparently the main honcho at the agency has had it out for Mel since the actor’s anti-Semitic rant [and had] just been waiting for the moment to strike. The moment has come.

News also broke today that Oksana Grigorieva told the cops Mel pulled a gun on her. So now he’s doing the only thing he can do: claim extortion. TMZ says

Mel’s lawyers will make “a presentation” of evidence to the Sheriff’s Department that is investigating Mel for domestic violence, child endangerment and assault with a deadly weapon — the presentation, we’re told, will focus on evidence of Mel’s innocence.

The lawyers will also present evidence that Oksana allegedly tried to extort Mel by telling him she would sell him the tapes she secretly recorded during their nuclear arguments.

Mel’s lawyers will present evidence that Oksana lied to Sheriff’s deputies by knowingly making numerous false statements.

Mel’s lawyers will formally ask the Sheriff’s Department to open a criminal investigation against Oksana, focusing on alleged extortion and making false statements to law enforcement — both felonies.

Whether she was blackmailing him with the tapes or not, the damage to his image has already been done. That audio clip just shot out any last straws at which Mel Gibson fans might have been grasping. He could post videos of himself clubbing baby seals and defecating on the American flag and still not seem any less likable than he does right now.

If Mel Gibson could dig the grave to his career any deeper, he’d be in China. Radar Online is in possession of a an audio tape that records a disgusting tirade by Mel:

Drunken Mel previously shocked the world with his anti-Semetic comments when busted for DUI. Now, the new racist outburst has taken the Oscar winner to an even deeper low.

His outburst came during a series of explosive arguments with Oksana, mother of his infant daughter Lucia. They have been battling in court, with documents under seal, for the past several weeks.

And there is more than one disgusting outburst from Mel. RadarOnline.com has listened to the hate-fuelled rants the Braveheart star unleashed during fights with Oksana as their relationship unraveled.

“You’re an embarrassment to me,” Mel tells her at one point.

“You look like a f***ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n***ers, it will be your fault.”

Mel’s attorney told RadarOnline.com that he is no longer commenting on the case and said Mel’s publicist is the only Mel official who will speak for him.

Mel’s profane outbursts are littered with references to Oksana being a “whore” and “c**t”.

In another tirade, Mel tells Oksana: “How dare you act like such a bitch when I have been so f**king nice.”

He warns, “I am going to come and burn the f**king house down… but you will blow me first.”

In a further outburst, Mel is heard telling her, “You’re a bitch” to which Oksana insists, “I didn’t do anything.”

“Did so,” Mel responds.

The tapes do not make it clear what the couple was arguing about.

But Mel tells Oksana, “Look what you did to me… look what you are… look what every part of you is… f**king fake… f**king fake.

A source close to the situation says Oksana claims she was forced to tape Mel after he made a series of death threats. The source says she hopes the recordings will be admissible in any potential trial. ”Oksana’s motivation for recording this was to show Mel how mean he was, and because she feared for her life,” said the insider. ”She wanted to get evidence that he was dangerous and violent.” The source claims that Mel has heard two of the tapes. Said the source, “Mel is doing everything he can to suppress this… they are the rantings of a mad man.”

Forgot about killing his career. He’s stripped it, flogged it, pulled out its beard, beat it with sticks, stuck a crown of thorns on its head, and crucified it. But my hunch is that it won’t ever resurrect itself. That sucker is dead.

Oksana visiting a lawyer in Century City:

American Asian groups are getting their noodles in a knot after Toby Keith did an impromptu eye-pulling gesture at a Nobel Peace Prize party recently. Says Popeater,

An Asian American group says Toby Keith “embarrassed himself and his country” this week at a Nobel Peace Prize party in Norway when he stretched his eyes back while Will Smith rapped the word “yellow.”

Besides embarrassing all sorts of people, a rep for the Asian American Justice Center tells TMZ that Keith “denigrated the Noble (sic) Peace Prize and offended Asians and Asian Americans by using a crude, racist hand gesture.”

Piling on is the Media Action Network for Asians, who believes Keith “is telling his Asian fans ‘you don’t matter, you’re not on my radar.’”

The incident occured while Smith was rocking a rendition of ‘Rapper’s Delight,’ and Keith began pantomiming along with the lyrics. His rep told TMZ on Tuesday that “No one at the concert thought Toby was out of line.”

When did Asians turn into such wussies? They come from a hardcore tradition of kamikazes, ninjas, hara-kiri, samurai, caning, hell, even their women would bind their baby girls’ feet! Now you’re all offended because somebody pulled their eye? Cry me the fucking Yangtze.

Forward to the :23 mark for the shocking moment:

Jesus Christ, I am so sick of this stupid fucking picture.  If Miley Cyrus could just do me a gigantic favour and get hit by a bus or something, that’d be great.

In the meantime, Miley’s racist hillbilly ass is getting sued over this picture.  For $4 BILLION DOLLARS.  From TMZ:

A Los Angeles woman has filed a class action suit against Miley Cyrus, claiming she mocked Asians in a recent photo by slanting her eyes. Price tag: $4 billion.

Lucie J. Kim claims to represent more than 1 million Asian Pacific Islanders who live in L.A. County. Kim claims when Cyrus posed for the photo, she “knew or should have known that her image would be publicly disseminated via the media, which Cyrus knew focused on her private life, specifically TMZ.”

Kim says in the suit, filed Wednesday in L.A. County Superior Court, that each Asian Pacific Islander is entitled to the minimum damages for a civil rights violation — $4,000. Add it up — $4 billion.

Hahahaha!  Four billion fucking dollars!  I hope this lady wins, and I hope Miley and her whole retarded family get cleaned out for every penny they’ve got, and I hope it somehow turns out that every jackhole who ever paid money for anything having to do with this dumb bitch is left liable for their fair portion of the remaining debt.

Here’s Paris Hilton attempting sexy poses in a photoshoot for “The Harvard Lampoon’s” April Fool’s Day issue. Ten bucks says she asked why the black guy wasn’t wearing a costume before she stuffed the elephant’s trunk in her cooter and videotaped it.