Lindsay Lohan continues to play the part of wronged, upstanding citizen and hopes that a court of law will believe the same thing too. With the way the justice system has treated her already, she’s got a good shot at it. She currently has her panties in a knot over a lyric by rapper Pitbull. TMZ tells the sad story:

Lindsay Lohan has just sued the rapper Pitbull for a line in his mega-hit, “Give Me Everything,” for a disparaging lyric about her.

The song — written by Ne-Yo and Afrojack, also defendants — has a line:

Hustlers move aside, so I’m tiptoein’, to keep flowin’
I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay is pissed, claiming in her lawsuit … “the lyrics, by virtue of its wide appeal, condemnation, excoriation, disparaging or defamatory statements by the defendants about the plaintiff are destined to do irreparable harm to the plaintiff.”

Lindsay, who claims in the lawsuit she is “a professional actor of good repute and standing in the Screen Actors Guild, is suing under the New York civil rights laws, which protects people from having their name exploited for commercial purposes.

Lindsay alleges the appearance of her name in the song “causes [Lindsay] to be associated and identified in connection with defendants.”

The suit — filed by Stephanie Ovadia — seeks an injunction to stop all of the defendants from broadcasting the song. It also seeks unspecified damages. Ovadia is the same lawyer who filed the E*TRADE lawsuit on Lindsay’s behalf, which settled for a confidential sum.

I can only hope her day in court is like one of those dream sequences, where the plaintiff starts reading the charge and starts cracking up when he gets to the part “…a professional actor of good repute and standing in the Screen Actors Guild…” and then the whole courtroom busts up laughing, and the judge is cracking up and pointing his finger at her, and she breaks into a cold sweat, but instead of waking up, it’s all true and she gets her ass laughed all the way out the door. What? I can dream, can’t I?

Take a gander at that beautiful head of hair:

Foxy Brown is a rapper with a long list of legal woes, including spitting on hotel staff because they didn’t have an iron available, to attacking a manicurist over a $20 bill she refused to pay. Here is the dulcet darling attending BET’s Rip the Runway 2011 event, which is a “hip-hop fashion show where music fashion forward”. If electric blue fake eyelashes and contact lenses, and the threat of her gigantic areola escaping is fashion forward, then I’m about to go skin a mountain lion, wear its pelt and live in a cave.

I have a sudden hankering for flapjacks:

Mother of God, why. E! Online says

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has a new addition to his résumé: rapper! The Jersey Shore star has teamed up with Grammy-winning Fatman Scoop, DJ Class and the Disco Fries to record what he’s sure will be this summer’s club anthem, humbly titled “The Situation.”

The little ditty doesn’t hit iTunes till next week.

Oh, we’ve got “a situation,” alright. It’s called auditory diarrhea. I’d rather have the Duck Phone shoehorned into my vagina than listen to that piece of shit again. Thanks, MTV.

I’ve never heard of rapper “Pitbull,” but he’s all over the interwebs today thanks to this video of him punching a fan square in the face in the middle of his concert (FF to the 53 second mark if you hate listening to crap). TMZ says

During a show on April 30 in Aspen, Colo., a fan who was tossing money around in the crowd was pulled on stage by Pitbull. The guy then thought it would be a good idea to make it rain in Pit’s face … and was dead wrong.

Pitbull suddenly levels the guy — repeat, LEVELS the guy — with a devastating right hand, then follows it up with a Beckham-esque kick once the dude was on the ground.

Cops were never even called to the scene.

Of course the cops weren’t called to the scene. It’s not like they would have shown up anyway. What you’ve got here is a Mexican assaulting a black dude. It’s pretty much common knowledge that it’s only a police matter when white people are involved.

Joaquin Phoenix made his debut performance as a rapper in Vegas this weekend. It was, of course, the awe-inspiring performance you were expecting. The NY Daily News says

Phoenix, 34, walked right off the stage, falling flat on his rear following his unusual three song set. And brother-in-law Casey Affleck, [who is married to Phoenix's sister Summer] was there to capture it all. Affleck is filming a documentary to capture the actor’s transition to music.

“Transition” my ass. Try “side-stagger and face plant.” It’s like someone crossed Vanilla Ice with Bruce Vilanch and then repeatedly kicked it in the head before handing it a microphone.

BONUS: Footage of Phoenix wiping the fuck out (FF to the 36 mark) after the jump:

Walk the line, then bring your finger to your nose, put your hands behind your back:

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