Since leaving rehab, Demi Lovato has pierced her nose and put on a good fifteen pounds, and now she’s gone and dyed that Jonas right out of her hair. The Daily Mail says:

The 19-year-old tweeted this picture of herself [with bright red hair] on Sunday saying: ‘Just woke up from a nap. Can’t believe I fell asleep before tweeting this. ’

A nose ring, a spare tire, and a crappy dye job. I’d say she’s well on her way to becoming a Dove spokesmodel at this rate.

Performing on Jimmy Kimmel as a brunette late last month:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

I find it mystifying that red hair looks so great when done in a salon à la Blake Lively, but so terrible on people who are born with it. I tried raising my concerns to several naturally red-headed women I saw at the mall yesterday, but they were surprisingly unhelpful in my query. I just chalked it up to their having the mark of the Devil and made sure to spit and make the sign of the cross after one of them inadvertently touched me.

Blake at Time Magazine’s “World’s Most Influential People” last night:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Further reinforcing that crap is king, the Twilight saga was the big winner at last night’s People Choice Awards. Apparently, all the “people” who “chose” the winners of these awards were under fifteen and had ovaries. People Magazine says:

The latest installment in the [Twilight] series, Eclipse, picked up four awards, including favorite movie, surpassing nominees including The Social Network and Inception.

It also won favorite drama movie and favorite on-screen team, and star Kristen Stewart beat out Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston for favorite movie actress as Bella Swan.

Adam Sandler won for favorite comedic star, while his hit flick Grown Ups was favorite comedic movie.

Eminem [snagged 3 awards], the most in the music category.

The big news of the night, though, was not the stunning lack of A-listers or Raven-Symone’s drastic weight loss or Ashley Tisdale’s Chernobyl skin — it was Khloe Kardashian’s new red hair. At least according to People Magazine:

Khloe Kardashian stole the spotlight from her sisters at last night’s People’s Choice Awards, debuting newly dyed red hair that set her apart from her raven-haired siblings. “I love it! It’s fun!” Khloe [said]. “I wanted to stand out for a little bit.”

Being a lumbering Sasquatch already made her stand out from her sisters plenty. She didn’t need any help making herself visible in a crowd. Hell, that Where’s Waldo guy blends into large groups better than this bitch does, and he only has half the back fat.

The Kardashians holding their Favorite TV Guilty Pleasure award, plus Raven-Symone, Selena Gomez, Emma Roberts and Ashley Tisdale:

PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures

Good thing Rihanna is wearing such a big, sparkly barrette. Otherwise we might not have noticed her hair.

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin Online

Breakout your best firecrotch jokes — Lindsay Lohan has returned to her roots. The Daily Mail says:

Perhaps Lindsay Lohan wanted to wash the past few months right out of her hair.

This morning, the 24-year-old actress stepped out in Los Angeles sporting a brand new strawberry blonde hair do.

Her red hair complemented her green studded hoodie, black leggings and black boots as she visited a court house in the Santa Monica area of Los Angeles to undergo a mandatory drug test.

Seriously, does anybody really give a fuck what color Lindsay Lohan’s stupid hair is? So instead, enjoy this awesome video of some chick getting nailed in the face with a watermelon on “Amazing Race.” The only thing that would make it better is if it were Lindsay Lohan.

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

From the late 15th century until the end of the 18th century in Europe, having red hair was considered a definitive “mark of the devil” that was punishable by death, usually by burning at the stake or drowning. Too bad Miley Cyrus wasn’t born in France in 1743.

On Good Morning America yesterday:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News, Bauer Griffin Online

I could see how with the new red locks you might mistake Jessica Alba for Ashlee Simpson, but lucky for you, there’s a sure-fire way to tell them apart. Just get them on their knees, stuff your wiener in their mouth as far as it will go, and then look down at your testicles. If you can still see chin, it’s Ashlee Simpson. Problem solved!

Getting a manicure in Beverly Hills with some equally surly friends:

The real trick to pulling off red hair like Ashlee Simpson here is choosing the right shade of red to compliment your complexion and eye color. You want to match the undertones in your skin to the undertones in the red you’ve selected. And, of course, you want to make sure you dye your muff some variation of “Copper Sunset” to match. Otherwise it’s like wearing a stove pipe hat without a monacle or a jersey without an arrest record or a pitbull graveyard under your house. That is to say it’s just stupid.

Ashlee painting the town red in West Hollywood Thursday night: