There have been plenty of stories lately about Rihanna getting all kinds of fucked up (she was even hospitalized for “exhaustion” following a Met Gala bender earlier this month), and now her partying’s reached the point that her label is threatening to drop her unless she goes to rehab. Radar Online says:

“Rihanna has been out of control for months,” an insider told Closer magazine. “She was supposed to catch a flight back to the UK last week [for a work obligation], but she ended up missing it, which was the final straw for management. Jay-Z hit the roof when he found out, and told Rihanna, ‘Go to rehab now or I’ll drop you from the label.’

“She’s not happy, but she now feels she has no choice. She’s physically and mentally exhausted and feeling lost… I think she desperately needs help and some time off.

I tell you what would fix her up real quick — she needs Chris Brown to come dot that eye for her again. I bet that would set her straight. Sometimes a good backhand is all an alcoholic needs to see the light.

Leaving Giorgio Baldi restaurant last week:

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is all better now after being in rehab for less than a month. Of course, that depends on your opinion of “better”. Me, I would say he’s better when America gets tired of watching stupid reality shows about trashy people. So, probably not anytime soon. Says TMZ,

The Situation has CHECKED OUT of the Cirque Lodge rehab center in Utah … where he was receiving treatment for substance abuse … TMZ has learned.

TMZ broke the story … Mike Sorrentino checked in to the famous treatment center several weeks ago … claiming he wanted to “get control of a prescription medication problem I had due to exhaustion.”

Sitch was spotted out moments ago at a nearby airport … and even took a photo with a fan who happened to be on his flight.

I’m sure his time in rehab has totally transformed him. He probably would never wear an open shirt anymore and speaks intelligently about important societal issues and raises his pinky when he drinks his afternoon tea. He’s like a new Eliza Doolittle, if Eliza Doolittle smiled like she had suffered a stroke and had a persistent, itching rash.

The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain, but who really cares when Emily VanCamp in Cosmopolitan magazine is all bright colors and long legs?



First it was just exhaustion, and then it was that he was addicted to prescription pills he was taking for his exhaustion, and now it’s been revealed that “Jersey Shore’s” Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is also in rehab for his proclivity for mixing booze with those prescription pills he was taking for that exhaustion. And apparently if you’ve watched any of season five, this was a long time coming. TMZ says:

The reality star had been showing signs of substance abuse for a while … but “he was getting worse” as the season went on.

He was “acting paranoid” on the set … and the unusual behavior was evident in the [episode where] the gang goes camping — Sitch can be seen acting jittery, sweating profusely and just plain acting bizarre.

Additionally, TMZ is claiming that The Situation went through detox at another facility before he checked into the Cirque Lodge, and the detox reportedly involved alcohol:

The Sitch is “very open” with other patients at Cirque about his drinking. He discusses how his club appearances escalated his alcohol use.

Now here’s the problem for “Jersey Shore.” The Situation and alcohol have been tied at the hip for 5 seasons. If the show allows The Situation to fall off the wagon to make the show better in season 6, they will look like crass enablers. If they don’t let him drink, there’s a good chance they will lose viewers.

Um, since when has being viewed as “crass enablers” ever been a problem for MTV? It’s my understanding that they fucking thrive on it. Crassly enabling is three-quarters of their entire annual budget.

That sweaty paranoid behavior that sent up some red flags:

Resident Jersey Shore douche Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino checked in rehab earlier this month for “exhaustion,” what with the taxing life he leads and everything. Radar Online says:

Sorrentino’s rep [said]: “He is not in rehab for substance abuse. He has spent the last several weeks at an undisclosed location for much needed rest and recuperation after his extensive production and appearance schedule.”

A source close to the reality star says, “Mike is focusing on recuperation after a very long trip through Australia and getting rested up for season six. His friends and family know where he is, he just wants to get away from the public and be on his own for a bit to relax.”

So, in essence, he’s taking a vacation from his fucking vacation of a life. Waxing and blow-drying and bronzing must be a lot more physically demanding than any of us ever realized. I just hope he can conjure up enough strength to pull through this. Talent like his should never be compromised.

UPDATE: So it is pills after all. Pills for his exhaustion, i.e. Adderall.

Gerard Butler is expected to check out of the Betty Ford Center later today after completing a three-week stay for a dependence on prescription painkillers. TMZ says:

Butler’s problems were triggered by the physical demands of shooting “300″ in 2006. We’re told the actor began struggling with pain management, and the problem became exacerbated while filming “Of Men and Mavericks,” when Butler was badly hurt on December 18 during a surfing accident.

Butler realized he was relying too much on prescription drugs and decided to head off a full-blown addiction by entering Betty Ford three weeks ago.

Sources [say that] Butler also developed issues with cocaine, but the root problem appears to be the injuries and pain management.

Butler will be leaving Betty Ford later today.

Ten bucks says it wasn’t a “surfing injury,” but that the sex swing broke when the rest of the girls tried to climb on. It’s Gerard Butler we’re talking about here.

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