All is not well in the polyester-acetate blend world of the Kardashian sisters: the New York Times just gave a scathing review of their new DASH store in Manhattan, just a day after Bebe basically announced they were going to dump their Kardashian resort collection. Radar Online says of the NY Times review:

New York Times columnist Jon Caramanica scathingly described the store as a “fashion desert.”

“Just oodles of drapey cowl necks and embellished cap sleeves and synthetic fibers,” he wrote. “Clothes are essentially split into two categories of fit: vacuum-sealed and hot-air balloon.’

Describing one pricey outfit, Caramanica wrote, “You could wear this look in the same way you could hire an enthusiastic 5-year-old as your stylist.”

And of their resort line with Bebe:

Earlier this year, Bebe had launched a Kardashian line inspired by “something the sisters would wear on vacation.”

But Bebe president Emilia Fabricant admitted that they are re-thinking their partnership with the Kardashians.

“The sisters do still have relevance,” said Fabricant. “But at Bebe we need to move with fashion and we want to be first in the fashion world with everybody else and not fall behind. We are definitely assessing the situation.”

Once Bebe “assesses the situation,” they’ll probably realize that everything Kim Kardashian wears looks like it took a couple of Chinese contortionists and a welder to put on. I think the problem here is that their clothing line doesn’t come with a shoe horn and several tubs of Crisco. Unless it’s cutting off your circulation and causing hairline fractures in your ribs, it’s just not the Kardashian look.

Lindsay Lohan’s pairing with French design house Emanuel Ungaro didn’t go over so well with the critics at Fashion Week, but not to worry — it drew rave reviews from meth-addicted exotic dancers with bastard children. The Daily Mail says

The collection prompted only lukewarm applause when Lohan and [new head designer Estrella] Archs came out onto the catwalk after the show.

Fashion critics looked aghast at Lohan’s bra tops and stripper-inspired nipple pasties.

The thigh-skimming dresses in peach, hot pink and white [and] the sparkling nipple pasties flashing from underneath loose blazers were a reminder of Lohan’s own occasional wardrobe mishaps.

‘It’s not good to show your nipples so they should be covered,’ Lohan [said], referring to the heart-shaped pasties.

Lindsay Lohan thinks it’s “not good to show your nipples?” Am I taking crazy pills? What about this? Or this? Or this, this and this? It’s almost impossible to find a picture of Lindsay Lohan where she’s not showing her nipples. You know what they say — people who live in glass houses shouldn’t call the kettle black. Frankly, that’s just being racist.

Pics of her at the show, plus bonus video of her rapidly aging before your very eyes thanks to the magic of cigarettes and purging after the jump:

PHOTO CREDIT: Bauer-Griffin Online

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Sacha Baron Cohen strips down to nothing but his bare kugelsack on the cover of next month’s GQ magazine to promote his new movie “Bruno: The Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt.” The Daily Mail says of the movie:

Sacha Baron Cohen’s new movie Bruno is shockingly funny, some of the time.

There are scenes in Bruno that… I turned my head away from the screen. There’s a lot of exposure of rear ends, and front ends.

The point is to shock, to make your cringe in your seat, to shake your head and go, “No, he’s not going to do that, is he?!” Oh, yes he is, my God, he did.

By all accounts this movie is shockingly distasteful and indefensibly obscene. And if you’re reading this blog, chances are you’re just as excited to see it as I am.

Read his hilarious GQ interview here.