Rihanna stepped out in Hollywood channeling her inner white 80′s rocker with a layered blonde wig and cut-off stonewashed denim shorts. But as far as those armpit stains, maybe she should have followed the advice of this 80′s commercial.

Since getting that stupid-ass tattoo this past week, Rihanna has received criticism over the message that it conveys. You know, the message other than being a stupid twat. Says Digital Spy,

While many Twitter users spoke out against the body art, claiming that Rihanna was glorifying gang culture, she has since taken to the social networking site to defend her decision.

“I #LOVE my new tattoo!!! Can’t wait for yall to see it!!! I got it in ‘Tibetan’ this time!!! #approved,” she wrote.

“Chill babes #noshade. Err’body has an opinion, but yall know what yall can do with them!!! #THUGLIFE (sic)”

Rihanna later joked: “I’m thinking I shoulda got a tear drop instead!!! #THUGLIFE maybe next time. “All eyes on Rih, betta picture me rollin’ #THUGLIFE.”

I personally think a baboon making smoke signals while picking its ass would be easier to decipher than that ghettospeak. Seriously, if you’re going to make the effort to spell out err’body complete with an apostrophe, you should just go ahead and fucking spell the word you’re bastardizing. That shit is a whole different level of pretentiousness.

Keepin’ it classy with no bra and nipple barbells:

Rihanna took to her Twitter to show off her latest tattoo: the words “Thug Life” etched in pink on her knuckles in an apparent tribute to the rapper credited with coining the phrase infamously tattooed across his stomach, Tupac Shakur. Rihanna could have done worse, I guess. She could have been wearing a pair of Thug Life overalls and matching chef’s hat when she got the tattoo. You just know Tupac wishes he had that one back.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Is it just me, or does she look like Will Smith in a novelty afro wig that spent the afternoon being batted around by a cat? Discuss.

More twitpics of her getting tatted up:

Chris Brown is an asswipe with anger issues and Rihanna is a dumbass with masochistic tendencies, so like a dog to its own vomit, these two inevitably find each other. The two singers were photographed leaving Greystone Manor last night — albeit separately — after a night of drinkin’ to the freakin’ weekend together. The Daily Mail says:

Chris, 22, was seen leaving the club through the front door, getting into his Range Rover with a group of friends, while Rihanna, 23, left through a side door hopping into a waiting SUV with a bodyguard.

‘He and Rihanna are just friends,’ Chris’s rep told ABC News. ‘He is with his girlfriend, Karrueche, and is not cheating.’

[But while] the pair didn’t directly tweet each other, they both wrote declarations of love in response to one another.

Brown kicked off proceedings with a tweet saying: ‘Love U more than u know!’

To which [Rihanna] replied: ‘I’ll always love u #1LOVE.’

I think this time, things will be different. If there’s one thing I know about liars and cheaters, it’s that they usually change for the good and you should always give them another chance. It’s one of the main reasons why I still vote Republican.

Rihanna not wearing at bra at LAX last week:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

In an earlier post, I may have insinuated that Rihanna was a bit of an attention-whore. I was wrong. She’s actually a huge attention-whore. I’m glad we finally got a chance to clear that up.

In Hawaii with her friends (via Twitter):

Funny thing is, that’s technically a one-piece, meaning I could’ve worn Rihanna’s swimsuit during mixed bathing at Bible camp. You know, if I didn’t have to wear a long-sleeved shirt and a wide-brimmed hat to keep my psoarisis from flaring up in the sun.

I’d like to give Rihanna’s latest Armani ads a big thumbs up, but I can’t, on account of the cuffs and everything. I sure hope somebody’s writing an outraged letter to a Congressman or staging a protest on my behalf, because I wasn’t “charging toward Rihanna wielding a knife” — it was the Dagger of Heccabees forged by a coven of dwarf-witches long extinct — and I wasn’t trying to “stab” anybody, I was trying to harvest a lock of her hair with the Blade of the Dwarf-Witch Queen so I could properly cast a protective spell around her. Honestly, I don’t see what’s so hard about this.

Yesterday was Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, and in honor of his dream and the entire Civil Rights movement, I did not work. Instead I laid around in a chair all day smoking blunts, which is exactly what Rihanna did, and she’s black. And speaking of marijuana and the Civil Rights movement, I’d like to add that now that we’re “all sitting down together at the table of brotherhood,” I call dibs on the seat next to Rihanna. Puff puff, give, sister!

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Rihanna and Chris Brown are possibly getting all schmooopy-woopy on Twitter, but they haven’t specifically named each other, so it’s not for sure. Ah, love from afar. It’s just like Romeo and Juliet, if Romeo had a penchant for cold-clocking Juliet in the face. OK! Magazine says,

…Rihanna and Chris Brown are raising a few eyebrows. After their tumultuous relationship and break-up seemed to finally make its way out of the headlines, it appears the former lovebirds are posting tweets about love.

Whether or not they’re directed toward each other remains cryptic since they’re not tweeting directly to each other, but they are both tweeting about love! Coincidence? Hmmm.

Chris started by posting, “Love U more than u know!”

Merely two minutes later as E! News reported, Rihanna responded with a tweet of her own: “I’ll always love you #1love.”

It would be shame if they don’t end up together. Those pictures of her with a shiner and a busted lip would look awesome in a slideshow of their best moments together or artfully displayed in a scrapbook for their coffee table.

In native Barbados:

Rihanna performed yesterday in Madrid at the Palacio de los Deportes in a plastic jewel-encrusted bikini. I’m not sure who designed it, but it looks like a 65-year old lady’s fantasy. All that’s missing is a embroidered teddy bear in the middle of the top and a kicky straw hat and you’ve have half the population of Miami clapping their hands in delight.

Ashton Kutcher got busted cheating with a bunch of skanks and his wife filed for divorce yesterday, but Men’s Health still thinks you’re interested in his relationship advice. Like getting flying tips from the Hindenburg. Radar Online says:

Kutcher’s quotes were made before the split was official.

When asked the best advice that he’d ever gotten, Ashton replied: “I think it’s all about working on the relationship and making it better … when it’s good. Don’t wait for a problem to work on things. The goal is not to get into a relationship; the goal is to be in a relationship.”

Ashton’s final comment could be easily translated as a dig at soon-to-be ex-wife Demi — when asked to finish the sentence, “I could never be with a woman who…”

Kutcher replied, “Wow, that’s tough. I could never be with a woman who felt like she needed to change me.”

Damn those demanding bitches! Always whining about something, I tell you! It’s always, “Quit screwing random whores” this, and “you gave me another STD” that. Ashton deserves a fucking medal for sticking with that shrew for so long.

Rihanna in a photoshoot for her new album, Talk That Talk, because if I wanted to see an unshaven, smarmy face, I’d go look at my husband:

Most girls freak out when you start packing their genitals full of mulch, but not Rihanna. She appreciates a good bark nugget. I’m really more of a peat moss girl myself. I find the moisture retention’s much better with your denser compost materials.

In the November issue of Esquire: