Kourtney Kardashian was robbed, and I’m not just talking of any good looks or discernible talent. I mean like she was robbed-robbed. According to TMZ

Kourtney returned to her Calabasas townhome Saturday night at about 8:30 PM and discovered the break-in.

Hundreds of thousands of dollars of jewelry was reportedly taken, [including] Kourtney’s Cartier watch worth around $30,000, an expensive Rolex owned by her boyfriend, and diamond hoops.

The home is in a gated community.

I bet the robbers were able to sneak past the guards at the gate by hiding in the crook of Kim Kardashian’s ass the last time she visited. Hell, you could probably fit another two look-outs and a getaway car in there if you got the angle just right.

Leaving a hair salon last week:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

It turns out that the dude arrested for allegedly burglarizing Lindsay Lohan’s home earlier this month was actually a friend of hers. What a surprise! TMZ says

Several people who worked with her on the movie “Labor Pains” — which was shot last year — [said] they saw Nick Prugo hanging out on the set with Lindsay. One person who worked on the set estimates she saw them together at least 10 times.

Prugo — who is 18 — was arrested for cocaine possession last February. He plead guilty and was placed in a drug diversion program. He was also arrested last month for DUI.

Boy, theft, DUI, cocaine arrest — throw in throat gonorrhea and he could be Lindsay’s long-lost twin brother. They’re so alike, it’s almost spooky!

Leaving Boa restaurant on Saturday:

Thieves broke into Amy Winehouse’s London apartment this week and stole thousands of dollars worth of heroin cocaine beehives instruments and recording equipment while she vacationed in St Lucia. The Daily Mail says

The padlocked front door of her Camden flat was kicked in and [$30,000] worth of guitars and music recording equipment was taken in the raid. Her spokesperson said she was ‘disappointed’ by the loss but ‘relieved’ that she had her favorite guitar with her on the Caribbean island.

Police secured the flat and carried out forensic tests. A spokesman said “No arrests have been made.”

The spokesman then added, “But Detective Hardy got a wicked fucking contact high just from the shit they swept off of the floor.” Because, um… he was clearly from Boston. Yeah, well ya girlfriend smells like the fucking Blue Line, ya fucking chowdahead!

Queen Latifah… is that you?:

Britney’s little sabbatical at UCLA’s psych ward has officially been extended a full fourteen days, leaving estranged father Jamie Spears in charge of her estate in the interim (Britney’s lawyers will be going to court again today to try to remove him as co-conservator). First on Daddy’s list? Obtaining a restraining order against “manager” Sam Lutfi. Mysteriously, hours before Sam was legally ordered out of Britney’s house, several of her valuables were stolen. According to Us Weekly

The Los Angeles Police Department was called to the Beverly Hills home of Britney Spears Friday after her parents discovered valuable possessions belonging to the singer were missing. Spears’ parents believe that the items were stolen after their daughter was taken to the UCLA Medical Center early Thursday morning.

A bank safe was among the valuables reported missing. The safe contained two cartons of Marlboro Lights, a Louis Vuitton suitcase full of sour cream and a partially-burned Hannah Montana wig and mike stand. Police suspect the culprit is Sam Lutfi, Sam Lutfi or Sam Lutfi, while Britney blames leprechauns and her mother for having slept with them. Further bulletins as events warrant.