Robert Pattinson earned a $12 million paycheck when he signed on as the petulant and forlorn face of Dior’s men’s fragrance, and now he’s pocketing another $4 million to be the birdy sunken chest of their menswear line. The Daily Mail says:

“The new advert [Robert shot for Dior] is sexually explicit,” a Dior source [revealed]. “It is pushing the boundaries of what you can get away with in advertising. Robert is topless for part of it.”

The film, which showcases the famed fashion house’s new menswear collection, will be released in May.

Interesting choice of words, “topless.” Usually with men, it’s “shirtless.” Like, no one would ever say “Hugh Jackman is topless in that one movie.” But after you’ve seen Robert Pattinson’s chest, you understand the slip-up. He’s one dri-weave texture and set of wings away from being an Always commercial.

Some of Pattinson’s finest work dubbed over by bad lip readers:

Despite her loud guffaws and incessant pawing, 40-year-old Cameron Diaz got shot down when she tried to work her magic on 26-year-old Robert Pattinson at Gucci’s Art + Film Gala in Los Angeles last week. Us Magazine says:

“She was pretty obvious,” says one of three witnesses who watched Diaz come on to the Twilight star, 26. “Cam was seated next to Rob at dinner. She was touching his arm, doing her big Cameron laugh at everything he said and trying really hard. He was polite, but not having it.”

Clearly he only has eyes for Kristen Stewart.

Shame on Cameron. She’s old enough to be his grandmother, probably. Her predatory sex drive must be a side effect from all that bull testosterone and human growth hormone.

Get Cameron’s look with this black-and-white graphic print dress from See By Chloé and the contents of a bovine scrotum.

Now that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson have had their dramatic reunion, they’ve moved back in together. Us Magazine says:

“They are living together and have reconciled,” an insider tells Us Weekly.

But they haven’t exactly returned to the way they were before July, when Us broke the news that the Twilight actress, 22, had cheated with her Snow White and the Huntsman director, Rupert Sanders, 41.

A source tells Us the British hunk “is extra-sensitive right now. He’s insecure.”

In fact, Robert Pattinson is so extra-sensitive that he can actually feel a single grain of sand in his vagina. It’s like the princess and the pea, but with labia.

In a stained shirt and gray zip-up hoodie in Paris last week (this zip-up hoodie is a lot less Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness):

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Despite her having boinked the married director of “Snow White and the Huntsman” while she was still with him, Robert Pattinson has decided to give Kristen Stewart another chance. According to Us Magazine:

After the most trying, painful couple months of their three-year relationship, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart recently “had a dramatic makeup” in Los Angeles.

Gutted by Stewart’s shocking mid-July affair with her Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders, the 26-year-old British hunk finally agreed to meet his estranged love, 22, for an initial meeting.

After that tete-a-tete, the Twilight twosome have met on subsequent occasions, another source confirms. “They’re working it out,” the source tells Us. “He’s still in love with her.”

That’s a lovely angle, Us Magazine. Much nicer than “Summit Entertainment demanded they renew their relationship contract until Twilight Breaking Dawn has been released on Blu-Ray and DVD.” Epic romance my ass.

Thayer makes a much less shiny version of Kristen Stewart’s Balenciaga dress here, but if that’s a little too much cleavage for your taste, you can get a similar look with this Halston Heritage dress.

Happier times last year at the London premiere of Twilight:

Less than a month after being caught on camera sucking face with her Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders, Kristen Stewart has been dropped from the sequel. Universal Pictures must be Team Edward. Radar Online says:

“Sander’s estranged wife Liberty Ross let it be known in no uncertain terms that Rupert can’t direct the sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman,” a source previously revealed.

“They are trying to work things out after he was caught having an affair, and that is one of the sticking points. She just doesn’t want him to ever work with Kristen again.

“Rupert is obviously disappointed because Snow White and the Huntsman was his directorial debut, and he had hoped on building on that with a follow-up after some decent reviews.”

And now comes reports that Universal Studios has decided to shelve the scheduled Snow White follow up in favor of a “spin off” movie concentrating on Stewart’s co-star, Chris Hemsworth’s Huntsman character and not including Stewart at all.

Before you break out your scarlet letters and your pitchforks, this isn’t an issue of morals or Rupert Sanders’ attempts at appeasing his wife. It’s a question of cold hard cash, plain and simple. The studios were counting on Twihards blowing their allowance on any subsequent Snow White movies because she was Bella. Now she’s just the girl who shat all over the undying vampire love that could have transcended the bonds of Hollywood. Now all Twihards have to cling to is Krispy Kreme and Clearasil. Kristen is now officially box office poison.

Robert’s interview on Good Morning America this morning:

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