Russell Crowe threatened challenged Aussie reporter Annette Sharp to a 20 K “bicycle duel” after she made fun of his, uh, “fitness regime” in one of her articles in the local paper. The NY Daily News says

Crowe was apparently none too pleased by a column on Tuesday entitled “Smokes and fatty foods the fitness regime for Rusty.” The paper mocked Crowe after he was photographed pausing during a recent bike ride with his personal trainer to puff on a cigarette and chow down on three tacos and a soft drink.

Crowe’s spokesman called up gossip columnist Annette Sharp the next day and said, “Get on your bike. Russell wants you to go riding with him. Are you ready to die?”

Then he added, “If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you’re already dead! Mwah ha ha ha hah!”

Shooting Robin Hood last month:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin, Splash News

At the behest of his producers, Russell Crowe shed the nearly forty pounds he put on for “Body of Lies” for his upcoming title role as Robin Hood. Insiders say the weight loss was mandated by studio execs after “Robin Hood: Prince of Cheese Dumplings” failed to resonate with test audiences.

Before:

After:

Lumbering behemoth Russell Crowe used his giant gut to push Sienna Miller out of Ridley Scott’s new movie “Nottingham.” Page Six claims

Miller, who was to play Maid Marian, left the movie [on Friday] after being “put on hold” while shooting was pushed back from February to April.

An insider said, “Russell never lost the weight he put on for ‘Body of Evidence’ - and so the love scenes between him and Sienna would have been laughable. He’s so old and fat and she’s so young and gorgeous. It’s just . . . gross.”

Producers are “looking for an older, plumper actress to play the role so [Crowe] doesn’t look like a paunchy grandpa. Someone in her late 30s or early 40s.”

Candidates for the replacement Maid Marion are said to include Oscar-winner Kathy Bates, actress Camryn Manheim, and Whiskers the West Indian manatee.

BONUS: The new video for The Hours’ ‘See The Light’ starring Sienna as a mental patient after the jump. Sienna grocery shopping in London (below):

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