Archives

Kim Kardashian, according to a “source”, is ready to move on from her marriage to Kris Humphries to more narcissistic grounds. Namely, Kanye West. This is also know in theological circles as, “The Whore of Babylon and The Beast pairing in a culmination of ultimate abomination”. Says Digital Spy,

The two, who were first spotted on a date on Wednesday (April 4), have been romantically linked a number of times.

“They’ve been friends for years,” a source told Us Weekly.

“Kim is ready to give it a try now,” the insider added.

The alleged couple enjoyed lunch together on Thursday, eating at the Serafina restaurant in New York City, according to TMZ.

In March, Kardashian laughed off rumors that she was involved with the rapper.

I don’t even want to think about the implications of the combined power of their narcissism could bring. I heard that in the Apocrypha, that upon hearing of their unholy joining, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse curl up in little balls, rocking back and forth, wailing for heaven to come down on their heads. It’s that bad, people.

 

Despite rumors that she made a sex tape, LeAnn Rimes claims she never did the deed in front of a camera. I know, you’re all really broken up about this, aren’t you? Says Digital Spy,

LeAnn Rimes has dismissed claims that she made a sex tape with ex-husband Dean Sheremet.

The ‘How Do I Live’ singer laughed off speculation that intimate footage of the former couple was about to be released after being discovered in a truck.

She wrote on Twitter: “I hear there are rumors of a ‘sex tape’ I have never filmed myself having sex on tape, period. Haven’t joined that club Lol (sic)”

A spokesperson for Rimes further stated to the New York Daily News: “LeAnn has absolutely never filmed a video [of herself] having sex.”

Sheremet – when questioned about the alleged tape – is quoted as arguing: “We were married for eight years, we did a lot of s**t. I honestly don’t even remember. I’m sure it was fun and innocent.”

The footage was claimed by its finder to feature Rimes “posing provocatively” in a thong.

Whew! I’m glad we cleared that one up. If I wanted to see an unusually large member of the order Rodentia , I’d go over to my cousin Clive’s house and see his 7-year-old rat get it on with his harem of red-eyed lady friends. I’m sure that option would prove to be less frightening and probably sexier.

At Sirius XM’s “The Highway Super Fan Concert Series” in Nashville:

Now that  LeAnn Rimes is newly engaged to Eddie Cibrian just this past Christmas, the rumors are flying that she’s also knocked up. She’s of course denying it. Says Digital Spy,

LeAnn Rimes has denied rumors that she is pregnant with fiancé Eddie Cibrian.

Rimes – who recently announced her engagement to the actor – took to Twitter to shoot down a story originally reported by Hollybaby which said that the singer was expecting her first child.

Rimes wrote: “this is such BS!!!! Lol, you people all report BS (sic).”

The 28-year-old appeared to reinforce her denial by posting details of her indulgent holiday plans shortly after. She added: “Cabo!!!!! Sun, bikinis, friends, food, tequila…celebration!!!! Gonna be the best trip!!”

So it’s just like that time when there were rumors that you were cheating, but you got all huffy and offended and you denied it, and then it turned out to be true and you’re just a pug-nosed liar-dog? Yeah. I thought so.

Walking in Calabasas:

For some reason Tila Tequila is pretending she isn’t a virtue-less slattern and is all up-in-arms about a sex tape rumor. Says Popeater,

Hours after reports that Tila Tequila was set to star in a porn video, the sex-charged Internet starlet took to her blog to vehemently deny everything.

“I finally got online and saw that there are FALSE RUMORS that I made a deal for a SEX TAPE! Which is BULL***T!!” Tila, 28, wrote on MissTilaOMG.com. “I have a feeling I know who is behind spreading these rumors. He used to work for the OMG staff, got fired for inappropriate behavior and now he’s p****d!”

“Tila inked this deal hoping that she’ll make millions off the sale of it,” a source originally told RadarOnline.com, who reported the porn film would come from “a major distributor.”

Though Tila has posed nude and been involved in plenty of scandalous endeavors, this would have been her first foray into porn.

Tequila’s announcement that she did not participate in a porn video quickly turned into an attack on the person she suspects of selling the falsified story:
“My pit bull Lawyer, Alan Gutman, is already on getting ready to file a restraining order from you! Do you want to play hardball? Do you want me to tell the WORLD what you did to me? Well since I have more class than you, I’m not going to tell them. Time will tell itself once the news comes out of the VIOLENT things you did to me, that scared the s**t out of me until I kept my mouth shut about it … I was so afraid to tell people what REALLY HAPPENED! You will all know soon enough! And for once and for all, I DID NOT, and I repeat, I DID NOT MAKE A DEAL TO MAKE A SEX TAPE!”

Um, if I remember correctly, she already had a sex tape that supposedly got “stolen” and leaked online, so I don’t know what the big deal is. Plus, this is the creature that makes a living being the biggest whore this side of Babylon, so this pretty much just sounds like any other of her crazy shenanigans. I bet her “pit bull lawyer” is like, a real pit bull. I’m just waiting for the day when the combination of drugs and whatever mental illness(es) she has come to a boiling point and fry her little spastic bird brain.

At a party at Fred Segal in Hollywood (who the hell invites her anyway?):

Photo source: Fame Pictures

Katy Perry & Russell Brand

Katy Perry is all in a tizzy because someone dared to suggest that she may have been getting cozy with Twilight star Robert Pattinson. Says NineMSN,

The wide-eyed popette was outraged to hear rumours she had been “flirting outrageously” with Twilight’s Robert Pattinson at an LA karaoke bar, after which she apparently left with him in the same car.

“Read a bunch of yesterdays news – B**LOCKS,” she Twittered.

“Ppl should know by now that I don’t do vampires, but I do DO @rustyrockets [Brand's Twitter username]. Don’t get it TWISTED!”

Now, I’m no squealing fan of Robert Pattinson, but I’d take it as a step up to be associated with him rather than oily-looking, hairy, looks-like-a-cult-leader Russell Brand. Plus the fact that he’s put his slimy sausage into every available orifice that he’s run across. He’s probably breeding his own special Brand of an STD. Brand-get it? Ha ha. I amuse myself greatly.

Find us on Google Plus